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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Hungry kids and shitty views

420 replies

icequeen34 · 22/10/2020 13:12

I apologise as I'm sure there are already threads on this topic. But I feel so so sad and angry today, not only about Marcus Rashfords campaign to feed hungry kids over the holidays being rejected. But some of the horrible views and justifications being spouted - mainly the old 'lazy parents need to take responsibility for feeding their kids' remark. Some utter twat was saying poor families should grow their own food because 'it's not hard' and another Tory MP claimed the blame lies with absent parents (as if his leader isn't one of those).

These are terrible comments from privileged people who clearly don't understand the lack of time, money, outdoor space and education needed to grow your own or shop more savvy. But even in the cases of the worst most lazy parents, why can't people see that the children shouldn't be the ones to suffer? It really boils my blood especially when MPs get so much in terms of expenses for food.

Sorry for the rant I just feel very disappointed and upset today.

OP posts:

Properbobbins · 22/10/2020 13:25

My own mother has commented on some posts on Facebook with some really shit views and opinions that have come straight from her beloved daily mail. Having spent all of August tagging herself in every bloody restaurant for eat out to help out and I cannot get over the hypocrisy.

SpaceOP · 22/10/2020 13:51

I know, it's truly awful. The ridiculous comments about families needing to spend less on everything from TVs to alcohol are so offensive. Why is it so difficult for so many of these people to understand that it's not a whole bunch of parents who just choose to do other stuff because they don't care about their children. Argh.

Funkypolar · 22/10/2020 13:52

As millions lose their jobs, many smug people are going to be plunged into poverty.

Original poster

icequeen34 · 22/10/2020 13:56

@SpaceOP even if it were true and there are parents who don't care or provide for their kids (let's face it they do exist) does that make it right for the child to suffer? Surely the government should be there to help protect them.

OP posts:

Sinuhe · 22/10/2020 13:58

As millions lose their jobs, many smug people are going to be plunged into poverty

Yep the equilibrium will be restored!

BoulangerieBabs · 22/10/2020 13:58

It's an absolute disgrace but I've seen comments on here today of "I'm not paying my taxes to feed children all year".

We're privileged in our household but we get it, sadly others don't and choose to put their sunglasses on rather than actually see the horror in this country and the deep divide.

AlexaShutUp · 22/10/2020 14:07

I know, OP. I honestly don't know what's wrong with people. I mean, argue all you like about government spending priorities, but seriously, who in their right mind would begrudge a hungry child a meal?! The mind boggles.

Some people are clearly devoid of all compassion....or else so lacking in imagination that they are simply unable to imagine a situation in which a parent might struggle to put food on the table. It's shocking that those in power are so frighteningly ignorant and out of touch.

I would encourage anyone who has been upset by the fact that this is even up for debate should contact their local MP. And make a donation to the local food bank if you can, as a lot of people will really be relying on them.

eatsleepread · 22/10/2020 14:10

See, I'm torn on this. I saw something on social media the other day, about breakfasts for school children who wouldn't get one. This got me thinking. No matter how you try and justify it, any parent who sends their child to school on an empty stomach is feckless. Porridge is cheap to make, and value cereal and bread are very inexpensive too.
If you're the sort of parent who doesn't provide breakfast, then you're cutting other parental corners too, and I don't mean only financially.
This won't be a popular view but I stand by it. 100%. There is no excuse for sending your child hungry to school in the mornings.

workshy44 · 22/10/2020 14:10

I live in a country where benefits are v v high so those views would be somewhat valid here. The UK rates are so so low compared and people experience a level of poverty that just doesn't exist here
Where I am from it is definitely a parental issue if kids are not being fed (most of the time) .. not the case at all in the UK

BoulangerieBabs · 22/10/2020 14:12

@eatsleepread

See, I'm torn on this. I saw something on social media the other day, about breakfasts for school children who wouldn't get one. This got me thinking. No matter how you try and justify it, any parent who sends their child to school on an empty stomach is feckless. Porridge is cheap to make, and value cereal and bread are very inexpensive too. If you're the sort of parent who doesn't provide breakfast, then you're cutting other parental corners too, and I don't mean only financially. This won't be a popular view but I stand by it. 100%. There is no excuse for sending your child hungry to school in the mornings.

Porridge is only cheap to make if you have fuel to make it with, if you've run out of gas you're a bit screwed.

june2007 · 22/10/2020 14:12

I worked for the council on a project that did meals for kids in the holidays to be honest take up was erratic. Not as popular as one would have thought.

Pyewhacket · 22/10/2020 14:13

Does a point of view only become shitty when it disagrees with your own ?

AlexaShutUp · 22/10/2020 14:14

This won't be a popular view but I stand by it. 100%. There is no excuse for sending your child hungry to school in the mornings.

eatsleepread, even if we accept your overly simplified view of how things are, in what way is the child responsible for this? If the parents are indeed feckless (and many are not), do you think it's ok for the children to suffer?

Pumperthepumper · 22/10/2020 14:14

I think we’re creeping ever closer to the idea of bringing back workhouses, although they’ll be called something like Opportunity Programmes. The way the poor have been demonised over the last few years is appalling.

BlackeyedSusan · 22/10/2020 14:15

grow your own fucking food? in a tower block, which would require buying compost and seeds and pots etc, for much more than the cost of food you would be able to grow. probably having to hump the stuff up the stairs if the lift is broken.

Missandra · 22/10/2020 14:16

People who point out how cheap certain foods are have no idea what real poverty is like.

RHTawneyonabus · 22/10/2020 14:16

I grow my own food. For fun. There is no way it works out cheaper than buying from the supermarket. In fact it’s quite a lot more expensive factoring in tools, compost etc -then there’s the time and effort and access to a suitable plot which most people living on the breadline don’t have.

Your friend is a bit hard of thinking.

BoulangerieBabs · 22/10/2020 14:17

I worked for the council on a project that did meals for kids in the holidays to be honest take up was erratic. Not as popular as one would have thought

Do you think that's because being poor has such a stigma attached to it it's seen as shameful and a failure?

BlackeyedSusan · 22/10/2020 14:17

yeah, because going out to a different building to get free meals is not at all stigmatising is it? And requires organisation, and possibly bus fare, which is very expensive. Many families are in poverty due to the kids disabilities, some of those disabilities make it hard to get anywhere out of the house.

TeddyIsaHe · 22/10/2020 14:18

@eatsleepread

See, I'm torn on this. I saw something on social media the other day, about breakfasts for school children who wouldn't get one. This got me thinking. No matter how you try and justify it, any parent who sends their child to school on an empty stomach is feckless. Porridge is cheap to make, and value cereal and bread are very inexpensive too. If you're the sort of parent who doesn't provide breakfast, then you're cutting other parental corners too, and I don't mean only financially. This won't be a popular view but I stand by it. 100%. There is no excuse for sending your child hungry to school in the mornings.

This is bullshit. You know hungry children aren’t just due to money? Well, they are, nuts it’s the lack of funding by the horrific cuts.

Children can have parents suffering with mental illness, disabilities, all slipping through the net.

It’s never as simple as ‘get a cheap loaf’ and you have to either be stupid or evil to not realise that.

farandfew · 22/10/2020 14:18

I'm with you OP. The argument is usually some variant on 'they need to take personal responsibility', which might be true in some cases, but in the meantime, children are hungry.

Saying that porridge is cheap, home grown is easy etc (which I've seen sanctimoniously plastered all over Twitter today) is all well and good but you can't make porridge if you can't pay your gas/electric bill, you can't grow your own if you have no garden, etc. These comments are all from a place of privilege and it's sad that people really can't see that.

Pumperthepumper · 22/10/2020 14:18

@eatsleepread

See, I'm torn on this. I saw something on social media the other day, about breakfasts for school children who wouldn't get one. This got me thinking. No matter how you try and justify it, any parent who sends their child to school on an empty stomach is feckless. Porridge is cheap to make, and value cereal and bread are very inexpensive too. If you're the sort of parent who doesn't provide breakfast, then you're cutting other parental corners too, and I don't mean only financially. This won't be a popular view but I stand by it. 100%. There is no excuse for sending your child hungry to school in the mornings.

Well, let’s look at it. You have porridge oats, fine. What do you mix them with? Water? The how do you cook them - you need either a microwave (plus money for electricity) or a cooker (plus money for gas). You also need a child who likes plain porridge made with water every single day with nothing to change the taste - no honey, or sugar, or Nutella. Value bread - no butter or jam or anything to make it palatable? Value cereal - high in sugar, low in fibre, eaten dry?

Now from the point of view of the child - your parent hasn’t given you breakfast. What do you do? How does the average say, six year old, get food for themselves when their parent has failed them?

ChessieFL · 22/10/2020 14:19

eatsleepread what about families in emergency accommodation with no cooking or food storage facilities?

grassisjeweled · 22/10/2020 14:19

So go revolt against the Tories and the Royals.

No? Still not ready to go that far?

So quit moaning and suck it up, peasants!

DioneTheDiabolist · 22/10/2020 14:21

Pre-covid I was attending a hospital for treatment. In every lift and on every floor there were posters offering advice to NHS staff who needed food banks. Something is rotten and it is not all the fault of parents and children who need help.

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