Hungry kids and shitty views

[icequeen34]

I apologise as I'm sure there are already threads on this topic. But I feel so so sad and angry today, not only about Marcus Rashfords campaign to feed hungry kids over the holidays being rejected. But some of the horrible views and justifications being spouted - mainly the old 'lazy parents need to take responsibility for feeding their kids' remark. Some utter twat was saying poor families should grow their own food because 'it's not hard' and another Tory MP claimed the blame lies with absent parents (as if his leader isn't one of those).

These are terrible comments from privileged people who clearly don't understand the lack of time, money, outdoor space and education needed to grow your own or shop more savvy. But even in the cases of the worst most lazy parents, why can't people see that the children shouldn't be the ones to suffer? It really boils my blood especially when MPs get so much in terms of expenses for food.

Sorry for the rant I just feel very disappointed and upset today.

[malificent7]

I remember the electricity going off whenn dd was little as i was on a meter. Was too poor for other options.
Tory voters will try and justify their shitty views though as we need to pull ourselves up by the bootstraps.

[Parker231]

I volunteer at a foodbank. We are now seeing many working parents needing help. Previously both parents have had full time jobs but as a result of Covid, one of the parents has lost their job and one salary doesn’t cover rent, bills and food.

Children going without breakfast and other meals isn’t just as a result of poor parenting but at the moment particularly, a change in circumstances. Perhaps everyone who can could check their local foodbank website and make a donation this weekend?

[LakieLady]

@rashalert

It really isn't a shitty view to wonder why some parents are short of the price of being able to turn on the microwave or a kettle.

And nor is it fair to accuse those questioning it-after all UC has just gone up-to want to starve children to death.

It's these hyperbolic arguments that allow others to say , well it's all just bollocks, isn't it and to not worry any more about it.

Far better to not allow extreme example to make an argument.

A lot of people on low incomes get into arrears on their energy bills and have to have prepayment meters. They have to pay cash to put credit on the meters with a key or card (and energy charges on prepayment meters are often higher than on credit meters, plus the first few pounds of credit is eaten up by the arrears).

Something like a cold spell can mean you use more gas or electricity than normal, so you run out of credit. Many people can't afford an extra £5 or £10 unless they take it out of the food budget. For many, it really is a choice between heating or eating.

In my county, this is a particular problem for people in villages where there is no mains gas, and people's only form of heating is expensive and hard to control electric storage heaters or electric radiators.

I used to try and encourage clients to overpay during the summer months, so they went into autumn/winter with significant credit on their meters, but it rarely worked. Some families were paying £40 or £50 pw for electricity. And the "Warm Homes" discount scheme, where people on low incomes could get a contribution of up to £140 on their energy costs, invariably used to pay the money in the summer, not in the winter when it's needed.

[LakieLady]

@thecatsatonthewall

Hasn't £26 BILLION of furlough and other support money been claimed fraudulently?

Jeremy Vine mentioned this today but its all ok because its a tory government wasting our money, not Corbyn.

Made me lol, @thecatsatonthewall, but you're right.

[malificent7]

I bet you a tenner that the Tories will get voted in in the next election though as the number of selfish fuckers in this country is huge.

[LakieLady]

@LadyWithLapdog

Exactly. Where’s the outrage at the money wasted and the fecklessness of the Tory government and their cronies?

If there was a standing ovation emji, this post would have earned one!

[dontdisturbmenow]

Children are going hungry and I don't care how or why
CHILDREN are NOT going hungry. There is evidence at all that it is the case. The number of children underweight is not going up.

The number of children becoming obese is however increasing drastically.

Not wanting to throw money at families who end up miss-using it doesn't mean not caring for children, on the opposite.

The best we can do is support the children in school with more staffing to identify kids who are genuinely at risk of malnutrition either by lack of it excess food.

My neighbours kids are entitled to free school meals just because she is on full benefits. It doesn't take into account the fact that she gets almost £1,000 a month in child maintenance. She still uses them because why shouldn't she, she's entitled, but she's not a neglectful mum, she'd never let them starve. It's a complete waste of money that isn't going to help a kid who really needs it.

[dontdisturbmenow]

I bet you a tenner that the Tories will get voted in in the next election though as the number of selfish fuckers in this country is huge
Not as many people who believe everything they read in the media and love to attack anyone who doesn't agree with them even when pointing to evidence -or lack of-.

It's very easy to shout indignation, it's much harder to justify it scientifically.

[LadyWithLapdog]

It’s also very easy to make up your mind based on your neighbour’s circumstances. For every woman who gets child maintenance check how many don’t.

[LadyWithLapdog]

@LakieLady thank you 🙏

[4cats2kids]

I don’t get any child maintenance. Zero.

[NeverAMillionMilesAway]

@dontdisturbmenow

Children are going hungry and I don't care how or why
CHILDREN are NOT going hungry. There is evidence at all that it is the case. The number of children underweight is not going up.

The number of children becoming obese is however increasing drastically.

Not wanting to throw money at families who end up miss-using it doesn't mean not caring for children, on the opposite.

The best we can do is support the children in school with more staffing to identify kids who are genuinely at risk of malnutrition either by lack of it excess food.

My neighbours kids are entitled to free school meals just because she is on full benefits. It doesn't take into account the fact that she gets almost £1,000 a month in child maintenance. She still uses them because why shouldn't she, she's entitled, but she's not a neglectful mum, she'd never let them starve. It's a complete waste of money that isn't going to help a kid who really needs it.

Studies have shown a link between obesity rates and poverty. (eg: www.nhs.uk/news/obesity/children-poorer-backgrounds-more-affected-rise-childhood-obesity/)

[LadyWithLapdog]

www.theguardian.com/society/2020/oct/24/open-letter-from-uk-paediatricians-about-free-school-meals 2000 UK paediatricians think there is a problem. But there’s an anonymous poster on MN who knows better 🤨

[OfTheNight]

I know there are some parents who do not give a solitary shit about their children. That was one of the hardest things to come to terms with when I started teaching. Two incidents have stuck with me in particular. One, a young lad in YR 7, came in and was visibly grey in the face. He was awfully quiet and holding himself incredibly stiff. Upon investigation he had broken his arm the night before but mum and dad hadn’t done anything and just sent him to school. They knew he’d hurt himself, but they didn’t care. The second, a young lady in year 9, really pretty and tall, with lovely hair. One day she arrived in school in a wig from a cheap fancy dress get up. She was told to remove the wig. Mum or dad had shaved her bald. She said it was because she had been misbehaved but mum said it was because one of her younger siblings had lice. Either way it’s awful. We knew those parents did not care. But we didn’t just ignore these kids. We didn’t just leave them to suffer. We helped. No, we didn’t fix everything. I’m sure their parents continue to be self serving arseholes, but I don’t think any of us could live with ourselves if we hadn’t taken that little lad to hospital.

For me this is the same. I’m sure some parents are shit. I get that the issues are very wide reaching and complex and go way beyond providing lunch in the school hols.

But none of this is on the children. If we can feed them, even just a handful of them, why wouldn’t you want to? That’s the equivalent of ignoring the broken arm.

[Scramblinghealingdreaming]

I have experience I. Working with child poverty and food.

Everybody is getting whisked up about that but nobody has actually asked

1. Do parents actually want a meal doe their children (on a grassroots basis - not just assuming that they do - I can tell you the answer - some do, a lot don't)

1. What will your child eat? I have seen meals cooked for children and in my experience over half goes in the bin.

We are trying to solve the wrong problem. Images off hungry children are very emotive and everybody is charging down a path towards solving the wrong solution.

In our local town, over 50 shops and cafes etc have come out to offer free meals when people ask for them. This is great, this involves the parent going (so they have a need) and choosing a meal their child will eat. That's better!

[zatarontoast]

Scrambling that is so true, in essence we are locking the door after the horse has bolted. We need a bottom up reform.

[Xenia]

The Tories look after the less fortunate better than Labour. The people know this which is why Labour has not been able to win an election since 2005. The polls tell us all what we need to know about which party is trusted best on issues such as feeding the nation and child poverty.

[LadyWithLapdog]

@Scramblinghealingdreaming I don’t know how you’ve been in peoples homes to see how they cook and maybe a ready-made meal in school or from a cafe is the better option. The bottom line is that children need fed and this Tory government have got it wrong.

[LadyWithLapdog]

Oh do shut up Xenia.

[Xenia]

I don't think telling people to shut up is perhaps the mumsnet rules/way though is it? Like most people I want all children to be well fed. We are all on the same side on this issue, whether Labour or Tory voters. No one wants to see children starving to death.

On the post above about the disorganised parent, a good book is Tuppence to Cross the Mersey on this, albeit written a while back. The girl's parents were like that and in fact less organised than some people who had a bit less money. It was very sad.

[zatarontoast]

Ladywithadog I work in a residential mother/child unit so do get a very good snapshot of what goes on in these households. There will be mothers who cba to cook food, those who don't know how, those who don't have e lectricity, those who would prefer to swap the food pack for a few cigarettes. Some women might have MH issues or disabilities that mean that ttheir mental/physical strength is weak. Food cooked and delivered might not be to everyone's taste. There is an assumption that all parents with hungry children are doing their best to.feed them and it simply isn't true - there would be a lot less children in the child protection register if that was the case.

[LadyWithLapdog]

Xenia it is rather annoying to see you pitch on a thread, other than the obvious ones about people earning eleventy million a year, to make a political point of supporting the fucking Tories. So, yes, I got annoyed and told you to wind your neck in. You can report the post if it’s not mumsnetty.

[Trainchoose]

There is an assumption that all parents with hungry children are doing their best to.feed them and it simply isn't true - there would be a lot less children in the child protection register if that was the case.

Well no, plenty of people on this thread and others have acknowledged that's not always the case. What's evident though is that the support given isn't sufficient, and there aren't any initiatives or anything that actually enable parents to lift out of the cycle they are in. It needs huge investment by the government, and not just for the sake of the children, but that won't happen. So rather than acknowledge some people are disadvantaged from the start, have a largely shit lot in life, and magically they aren't going to just shake that off and transform into fabulous parents, it's just blamed on them for being feckless.

[LadyWithLapdog]

@zatarontoast I will confess I don’t know what those residential units are. Is it not something for mothers and babies? At any rate, this doesn’t explain why children should go hungry now, this week. The things you described will take years to put right. (The Tories had ten years, a child’s lifetime to do something about it.)

[zatarontoast]

Yes that's exactly what I was saying train, a huge reform is needed from the bottom up, it will take a lot of money and time but if Scandinavia is anything to measure by it would be worth it. Can't see it ever happening under the current government though.