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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To consider reporting this child

173 replies

Floradoras · 18/10/2020 13:51

There's a boy who live on the next street. 10-13sh In age. When you walk past him he always lies. Follows you telling stories. Which is fine no issues. You just have to keep walking away.

Last year he told me my address and that he knew I had a skip. I had never seen him outside my house when I've been outside so be must have been watching me from the corner one day. But again no problem shrugged it off.

Two months ago I'm walking with my toddler and 4 year old and my friend and her son. He follows us up the road pointing a gun. He says don't worry it's not real and opens it and starts pointing at some orange plastic things or possibly foam inside. I felt like saying to him that our kids are too young to have pretend guns pointing at them and perhaps he shouldn't be approaching people with it. But I didn't. We managed to keep walking away from him. Although he followed us.

This last two weeks my neighbours have had their garage worked on. So they had stuff sat in their front garden including two bikes. He asked them if he could have them. They told him no. Last weekend I was ironing and saw out my bedroom window him and his friend were in their garden. The neighbours were out. He was picking up the bricks from the pile. Bashing on the door. Climbing up the door to peak in the top window on the door. Banging on the windows and shouting open up for godsake. Then he told his friend they never fucking answer. He's been back three times this week bashing and shouting.

My parents have been around this morning. I was helping my dad put stuff in the car. He was circling the bottom of my drive near the road on his bike. The way he was looking at My dad's head (nearly 70) made me feel really uneasy. I felt like he was considering punching him or something. He had a really nasty look and was riding about a foot to my dad's back. I kept watching him and then he went onto my neighbours new slabs that I know are not safe yet. I said should you be riding your bike on their new drive. He said to me I just want to know if I can have their bikes. I did a nod and said bye to my parents. Went back inside. I watched him punching their door. Shouting through their letterbox. Ringing the bell and knocking on the windows.

I messaged my neighbour to check they are ok and aware. She said they are aware and ignoring him because they don't have the energy for him.she informed me he has been in the garage too!!

I just don't know whether to report him or just keep out of it.

Would this concern you? I know to an extent he is just being a mischievous child. He may have something such as autism and you just never know why someone acts how they do. I'm just genuinely worried he's going to start becoming intimidating and more consistent with harrassing people.

If you do report these things. Who do you go to? Or is this literally nothing in your eyes? He makes me feel very uneasy and like he is capable of being quite nasty based on his persistent approach and swearing and having no respect for adults.

OP posts:
nimbuscloud · 18/10/2020 13:53

Do you know which house he lives in?

sunshinesupermum · 18/10/2020 13:55

Not sure that your description of a 'mischievous child 'is apt if he's aged between 10 and 13. Punching your neighbour's door and demanding their bikes is not mischievous, it's menacing.

WorraLiberty · 18/10/2020 13:55

If he's broken the law, report him to 101 as you would anyone.

Please don't bring Autism into this.

Unless you've never so much as glanced at Mumsnet before, you'll know that'll upset an awful lot of posters.

OhCaptain · 18/10/2020 13:57

Do you know where he lives? I think I’d report but more so out of concern.

He doesn’t sound ok and he could very well need support that he might not be getting. Perhaps a call to 101 or even social services to flag it.

I don’t know, though.

Frdd · 18/10/2020 13:57

Autism? Really?

Tonic54 · 18/10/2020 13:58

From what you have described it would make me uneasy too. I'm guessing that you don't know his parents so couldn't you talk to them?

Or is it worth talking to the non emergency police line for some advice?

Laserbird16 · 18/10/2020 13:59

How about talking to his parents? Do you know who they are? That would be my first port of call.

Maybe he does have some SEN, doesn't mean he gets to shout abuse at people, harrass people or damage property.

Merename · 18/10/2020 14:00

Do you know his parents? Know anything about them?

OhCaptain · 18/10/2020 14:00

I would more be thinking that he’s potentially from a problematic home.

MJMG2015 · 18/10/2020 14:01

Do you know which school he goes to? 'The done thing' seems to be to report via the school if you can.

MJMG2015 · 18/10/2020 14:01

Oh & I would yes because he needs help he's clearly not getting and supervision so he's not free to be doing this.

Floradoras · 18/10/2020 14:02

I'm trying to word it to acknowledge that some people have learning difficulties and ofcourse it's a broad spectrum that he may well not be on and just be a bad child. But if I had written that I would have been slaughtered too. Things always get jumped on and I am trying to be respectul and tactful and acknowledge all possibilities.

Lots of autistic children are wonderful and gentle so I apologise if that was worded wrong.

I know which house he's living in but need to check the number.

You are right he's not mischievous but if I had written what I think then I would have been told off for being mean to a child.

Basically I feel he needs reporting but I don't want any backlash

OP posts:
Floradoras · 18/10/2020 14:02

Never seen him in school clothes unfortunately. Only playing out in evenings and holidays and weekends

OP posts:
WhatWouldYouDoWhatWouldJesusDo · 18/10/2020 14:03

He sounds like he does struggle socially tbh. His social interactions sound ' off ' as opposed to just being a brat. If he was that way inclined he'd just take the bikes without all the attention seeking.

I would report this to 101, if he's behaving like this he's going to end up finding himself in situations with people that he can't cope with.

Thesearmsofmine · 18/10/2020 14:04

I would contact the police if you see him damaging the neighbours property again.

sunshinesupermum · 18/10/2020 14:04

Don't get involved with the family - phone the police and ask advice when you know his address.

Thesearmsofmine · 18/10/2020 14:06

Also maybe keep a diary of any incidents or dealings you have with him.

superstar84 · 18/10/2020 14:07

Film it and phone the police

DontGoIntoTheLongGrass · 18/10/2020 14:08

Yes you can report. It's harassing behaviour and your neighbours should not have to tolerate it. They've already told him once no to the bikes.

funnylittlefloozie · 18/10/2020 14:10

I would find out his house number and then call the police or social services and ask their advice. Frankly he sounds like an anti-social little shite, and he needs reining in. If the wrong person sees him waving an authentic-looking gun around, things could go very bad, very quickly.

SimplyPizza · 18/10/2020 14:10

Next time it might be one of those bricks through your window, or thrown at your dad’s head. I’d call the police, however, I wouldn’t expect them to do anything about it really.

blackcat86 · 18/10/2020 14:11

You don't need to make excuses for this child. You and your neighbours also have a right to live free of this antisocial behaviour. Call 101 and report.

FTMF30 · 18/10/2020 14:13

@superstar84

Film it and phone the police
Do not film him. He is a child and this could land you in trouble.
Floradoras · 18/10/2020 14:14

Thank you. When you report do you have to leave a name etc or can you do it annomously

OP posts:
JanewaysBun · 18/10/2020 14:14

Fuck I would have dialled 999 at the gun thing, absolutely report!

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