To consider reporting this child

[Floradoras]

There's a boy who live on the next street. 10-13sh In age. When you walk past him he always lies. Follows you telling stories. Which is fine no issues. You just have to keep walking away.

Last year he told me my address and that he knew I had a skip. I had never seen him outside my house when I've been outside so be must have been watching me from the corner one day. But again no problem shrugged it off.

Two months ago I'm walking with my toddler and 4 year old and my friend and her son. He follows us up the road pointing a gun. He says don't worry it's not real and opens it and starts pointing at some orange plastic things or possibly foam inside. I felt like saying to him that our kids are too young to have pretend guns pointing at them and perhaps he shouldn't be approaching people with it. But I didn't. We managed to keep walking away from him. Although he followed us.

This last two weeks my neighbours have had their garage worked on. So they had stuff sat in their front garden including two bikes. He asked them if he could have them. They told him no. Last weekend I was ironing and saw out my bedroom window him and his friend were in their garden. The neighbours were out. He was picking up the bricks from the pile. Bashing on the door. Climbing up the door to peak in the top window on the door. Banging on the windows and shouting open up for godsake. Then he told his friend they never fucking answer. He's been back three times this week bashing and shouting.

My parents have been around this morning. I was helping my dad put stuff in the car. He was circling the bottom of my drive near the road on his bike. The way he was looking at My dad's head (nearly 70) made me feel really uneasy. I felt like he was considering punching him or something. He had a really nasty look and was riding about a foot to my dad's back. I kept watching him and then he went onto my neighbours new slabs that I know are not safe yet. I said should you be riding your bike on their new drive. He said to me I just want to know if I can have their bikes. I did a nod and said bye to my parents. Went back inside. I watched him punching their door. Shouting through their letterbox. Ringing the bell and knocking on the windows.

I messaged my neighbour to check they are ok and aware. She said they are aware and ignoring him because they don't have the energy for him.she informed me he has been in the garage too!!

I just don't know whether to report him or just keep out of it.

Would this concern you? I know to an extent he is just being a mischievous child. He may have something such as autism and you just never know why someone acts how they do. I'm just genuinely worried he's going to start becoming intimidating and more consistent with harrassing people.

If you do report these things. Who do you go to? Or is this literally nothing in your eyes? He makes me feel very uneasy and like he is capable of being quite nasty based on his persistent approach and swearing and having no respect for adults.

@Scweltish did you miss the bit where he is repeatedly pounding on her neighbour's door and peering through their windows asking to have bikes that he's been told they intend to keep?

i would ask your neighbours if they want you to report.

perhaps they dont want the bother

@Scweltish

Am I missing something here? What exactly are you going to report him for? Playing in the street? Asking your neighbours for their old bikes? Pointing a toy gun at you? Looking at your dad with a nasty expression? Don’t get me wrong, he sounds an unpleasant kid, but there’s nothing here to notify the police or social services about.

I agree. I don’t see much substance here. Just lots of “gut feeling” “bad vibe” “horrible feeling” about a neighbourhood child whos biggest crime is riding his bike on her street, playing with a toy gun(that he was careful to ensure she knew was a toy), knocking on a neighbours door/windows repeatedly because being ignored, trying to entertain and make a connection to OP by telling stories but being ignored/walked away from, and shouted at by OP for riding his bike on someone else’s driveway. I don’t see how he is a menace.

His behaviour sounds like borderline harassment of the other family. You can’t report people for giving you evils (only keep a close eye on your own kids) or for asking for bikes, but I think the other behaviour is concerning. I’d probably make a call to SS.

He definatley needs reporting to you local community officers, he has all the makings of an anti social thug, and he needs sorting before he gets worse.

To be honest, I'm not sure why you didn't call the police the first time you saw them 'bashing' your neighbours' door.

Oh and going on personal experience I would absolutely NOT speak to the parents. They’ll just know who you are then for future harassment.

And he has broken the law, he’s broken in to a garage.

Harassment is also breaking the law.

I would try and track down where the boy lives first. He may have parents, or a parent, who are out all day, and are not aware what the boy is getting up to.

I knew children like this growing up and in recent years when doing community work. The ones who were tipped out on the street every morning and told not to come home til it was dark. Desperate for attention - and they used to get ignored by adults then too. Then everyone was all "I knew they were a bad 'un" when they got into trouble later on.

To me it sounds like a call to S S would seem more in order than the police but perhaps I'm projecting.

Op, trust your gut about the way he looked at your dad and baby. It's not paranoia it's instinct about someone being 'off'. Keep well away and yes flag up with ss. Are there any other neighbours you can talk to to see if there's anything more to his behaviour/story?

He could be a troubled child, or he could be a nasty little shit, you have no way of knowing and that's not your responsibility.. I would definitely report to SS/child services and if he points a gun at you again 'phone the police ASAP. He is definitely harassing your neighbours and trespassing so they could report that to the police themselves, if they have the energy.

knocking on a neighbours door/windows repeatedly because being ignored

No one owes anyone else anything. It’s their own home. They are allowed to sit in it, ignoring whoever they like, without someone hitting their door because they aren't answering their demands. Just because a local child chooses to continue to knock at your door, you are under no obligation to answer it. Why is he doing that? What right does he have to do that? How can you say this is acceptable?

@Uraflutteringcunt he's a child. That means some adult somewhere should be looking out for and after him and modifying his behaviour if necessary. And I'd argue that it is the duty of every adult in the community to make sure that's happening.

It reminds me of a boy that lived in my street a few years ago. He was older than my DS by 3 yrs but somehow latched onto him. My son has ASD and was quite vulnerable but he was desperate for friends. This boy would turn up and my son would be desperate for company so I let him in. Well, big mistake. We could never get rid of him. As I got to know him better I realised he had massive behaviour issues and problems with authority. He stole from us. I tried talking to his Mum but she was helpless, she didn't know what to do with him either. He was forever in trouble at school and got expelled. He'd follow me when I went out, really unnerved me. There's a whole lot more I could tell you. Thankfully the family moved to Norfolk but I often think about him and wonder how he turned out.

You need to contact someone.

This boy sounds as if he is mentally ill and possibly about to cause harm to himself or someone else.

No child of 10-13 should be climbing on other people's doors or banging on them and asking for the bikes or whatever.

This is NOT normal behaviour and I have worked with kids on the ADS before and not come across this.

Your neighbours are very much at fault however for not addressing this themselves.

I would call the police every time you see this happening, report that there is a teen in the neighbours garden bashing the door in with bricks (as he is doing). Hopefully they'll be round quick smart to sort it out.

Poor neighbours, for some people, this would be terrifying.

Unless you have an address for him you can't do anything.

So if your baby is sleeping and randomer knocks on your door and you don’t answer, is continued rattling ok?

If you are in the bath? Or are deaf? Or disabled and not quick enough? Is banging the door ok then?

No of course not. He’s harassing them.

And of course he is the responsibility of his parents and in their absense an adult willing to step up. In this case OP. Perhaps the family he is harassing don’t want further agro so are hoping ignoring him will make him go away. That’s ok too, they are under no obligation to protect the person harassing sing them.

I would be unnerved by him too. Next time he is doing something worthy of reporting, give the police a ring.

You really can’t report him to the police for things you think he might do, based on your interpretation of his facial expressions. And it isn’t up to you to decide how your neighbours should handle the situation.

If you have concerns about this boy’s welfare, by all means contact social services.

knocking on a neighbours door/windows repeatedly because being ignored

If you knock once or twice and someone doesn’t answer, you stop knocking.

Thanks everyone.

For the person who mocked saying look at your dad funny and pointing a toy gun at us and knocking repeatedly because he's being ignored is not a reason to be concerned.

Would you feel comfortable having a ln older child holding a gun shaped thing at your toddler and 4 year old? When he opened it up and you still didn't know exactly what he was holding would you have been happy to be in that situation. Why did he follow women and very young children with a gun type thing anyway. What's going through his head? This isn't a six year old playing army. This an older boy possibly in his early teens. What did you do at that age? Yes he was looking at my dad's head and riding his bike up to his back and then doing another small circle whilst staring at the back of his head. Is that normal behaviour to you? Riding circles behind a pensioners back.

He's been into the neighbours property. He has effectively damaged her driveway that still needs fixing into place and cement in parts of it. He has no right to be doing that. Plus no it's not ok to swear and shout through a stranger letter box. It's not ok to climb up the door to stare into their hallway. It's not ok to take your mate in the garden. It's not ok to be told no and to keep going back begging for a bike that you are not even old enough to own or ride.

What happens in two years time when he's even older? Will he be carrying real weapons around. As someone else said he will meet the wrong person one day and then what happens.

I care because there are elderly people around. Children around. Is he going to start harrassing more and more people when he wants something?

I think I'll get the house number and give social services a call if I can do so without giving my details. His parents need to be aware of what he is going and if they care enough they can get him corrected or get some support.

From experience I would say think very carefully and how and if you report to anyone. At his age there is little that can be done and it wouldn't be done immediately anyway. In the mean time he knows where you live and can do pretty much what he likes - damaging your property, car etc
Given that there seems to be very little supervision from parents you could be facing a lot of grief

Sounds like a child that’s just left to his own devices. I don’t think the average child behaves like that, with the bashing on doors with bricks etc... he sounds like delinquent behaviour.

There was a boy in my DC class so about 10/11 and he was just left to run wild and was like a rogue. He had quite bad behavioural issues at school. His dad was feckless from what I was told and he lived with his grandma who couldn’t really control him. He’d end up climbing on the community centre roof making a nuisance of himself etc...

Myself and another parent were talking about it as she says he’d knocked on her door asking if her DC was allowed out to play and she says she felt sorry for him. I agreed.

It’s as if he needed guidance and some sort of boundaries/discipline but he didn’t seem to get it. Sounds a bit similar.

I’m not really sure what to suggest but perhaps calling the school and explaining to them, then they could get in touch with his parents?

Would he know who's reported him?