To consider reporting this child

[Floradoras]

There's a boy who live on the next street. 10-13sh In age. When you walk past him he always lies. Follows you telling stories. Which is fine no issues. You just have to keep walking away.

Last year he told me my address and that he knew I had a skip. I had never seen him outside my house when I've been outside so be must have been watching me from the corner one day. But again no problem shrugged it off.

Two months ago I'm walking with my toddler and 4 year old and my friend and her son. He follows us up the road pointing a gun. He says don't worry it's not real and opens it and starts pointing at some orange plastic things or possibly foam inside. I felt like saying to him that our kids are too young to have pretend guns pointing at them and perhaps he shouldn't be approaching people with it. But I didn't. We managed to keep walking away from him. Although he followed us.

This last two weeks my neighbours have had their garage worked on. So they had stuff sat in their front garden including two bikes. He asked them if he could have them. They told him no. Last weekend I was ironing and saw out my bedroom window him and his friend were in their garden. The neighbours were out. He was picking up the bricks from the pile. Bashing on the door. Climbing up the door to peak in the top window on the door. Banging on the windows and shouting open up for godsake. Then he told his friend they never fucking answer. He's been back three times this week bashing and shouting.

My parents have been around this morning. I was helping my dad put stuff in the car. He was circling the bottom of my drive near the road on his bike. The way he was looking at My dad's head (nearly 70) made me feel really uneasy. I felt like he was considering punching him or something. He had a really nasty look and was riding about a foot to my dad's back. I kept watching him and then he went onto my neighbours new slabs that I know are not safe yet. I said should you be riding your bike on their new drive. He said to me I just want to know if I can have their bikes. I did a nod and said bye to my parents. Went back inside. I watched him punching their door. Shouting through their letterbox. Ringing the bell and knocking on the windows.

I messaged my neighbour to check they are ok and aware. She said they are aware and ignoring him because they don't have the energy for him.she informed me he has been in the garage too!!

I just don't know whether to report him or just keep out of it.

Would this concern you? I know to an extent he is just being a mischievous child. He may have something such as autism and you just never know why someone acts how they do. I'm just genuinely worried he's going to start becoming intimidating and more consistent with harrassing people.

If you do report these things. Who do you go to? Or is this literally nothing in your eyes? He makes me feel very uneasy and like he is capable of being quite nasty based on his persistent approach and swearing and having no respect for adults.

I worked in the areas of child protection, crime and mental health for decades. I would definitely report your concerns to social services.

Write it all down point by point. That may clarify in your mind what is strange behaviour, what is threatening behaviour an what is causing damage to property.

Pointing toy guns at people is how you get a fuck tonne of Armed Response Unit at the door

Don't know what sort of hell hole you live in, but where I live, kids with nerf toys are just kids with nerf toys.

@JanewaysBun

Fuck I would have dialled 999 at the gun thing, absolutely report!

The police would have loved you for phoning them for a child with a foam gun. I don't like kids having guns but seriously

OP, does the boy know the neighbours ? A lot of your post is a lot of speculation about this boy.

If it would put your mind at rest you could speak to the police but you need facts not 'i think he was thinking '.

The posters who are determined to make you feel stupid and/or paranoid are just engaging in competitive cuntishness now @Floradoras - trying to see who can sneer the most.

We weren’t there. We have no reason to assume you’re barmy enough to want to call the police about a nerf gun.

Phone the local police station and social services. If nothing else, it doesn’t sound like a welfare check would be a bad idea for this kid.

I think I'd say it to the police if you knew his address I'm not sure it would do anything.
Don't confront him he'll be the size of a man in a few years, he may not have SN some DC are just destructive wee fuckers and don't like to be told no.
I notice the DC who are out from dawn till dusk love talking to an adult getting some attention when I'm out watching DS I know some are not getting it at home as they're out with biscuits all day.

@OhCaptain

The posters who are determined to make you feel stupid and/or paranoid are just engaging in competitive cuntishness now *@Floradoras* - trying to see who can sneer the most.

We weren’t there. We have no reason to assume you’re barmy enough to want to call the police about a nerf gun.

Phone the local police station and social services. If nothing else, it doesn’t sound like a welfare check would be a bad idea for this kid.

Yup I thought so too. I find it very hard to believe that if people actually encountered someone banging incessently on doors, picking up bricks and generally behaving very oddly on a regular basis they wouldn't be at all bothered.

This child is feral and clearly disturbed. I suspect calling his parents wouldn't help. Keep a note of everything he does. Call the police and/or social work dept. I am surprised your neighbours haven't already done so. I am afraid he is going to be trouble when he's older.

Don't bother reporting to the school. I work in a school and it happens outside school, it's not something the school would intervene on.

Obviously it's not acceptable behaviour. Does he have special needs? In which case it might need handling differently, but it does need to be addressed. The neighbour needs to talk to the parents!

@CandyLeBonBon

Actually, only the police can decide to prosecute. And to all those smug arseholes taking the piss - stop being deliberately fucking obtuse.

The kid is not behaving in a socially acceptable way, and their behaviour has escalated. Fuck off with your disingenuous bullshit.

Well aren’t you a lovely neighbourly sort of person. The child is being a child. Children make up stories. Children ride their bikes on the street. Children look at babies and try to talk to neighbours. Children ask for things they think are being thrown away. Children knock on doors and windows if they want to talk to you. Children pick up rocks and bricks and play with them- without breaking windows or anything. Children play with toy guns that look just like toy guns (not real). That’s all this child has done once you ignore the OPs psychic bad vibe terrible feeling and paranoia.

@PlanDeRaccordement

This is seriously not want kids usually do.

@PlanDeRaccordement I shudder to think how you’re raising your children...

Just to say, have you considered reporting to the Local Authority Anti-Social Behaviour Team. They might be best placed to deal with this and will have links to Social Services. Good luck, its not nice to feel uneasy in your own surroundings x

Police and social services are connected through the MASH team, so if you reported to police social services will be made aware anyway.

I think this boy sounds vulnerable, and I think you should call SS, it's what I would do. His parents are clearly unwilling/unable to cope.

My DD1 (11, adopted) is very much like this boy, but we wouldn't ever allow her to trouble our neighbours in this way (despite me having CFS and long Covid and DH being exhausted as well). She only harasses us inside the house. It's been very stressful, but she's our responsibility.

It's called parenting, and this boy's parents clearly aren't doing this.

I suppose you’d all rather that children be unseen and unheard. With that kind of attitude they might as well be on an Xbox inside all day. Children make noise when they play outside. Maybe I’m just used to it because the children here play outside and they get up to all kinds of imaginative play. Too I actually know the children in my neighbourhood. I talk to them. I don’t ignore them, walk away from them when they’re speaking to me, and have paranoid thoughts about them being menaces. OP doesn’t know this child and that’s why she is afraid, because he is unknown to her. She hasn’t bothered to speak one nice word to him. Her total interaction has been to shout at him for riding his bicycle on a neighbours driveway! (Ridiculous).

I suppose you’d all rather that children be unseen and unheard.

It’s not all or nothing. The choices aren’t children you don’t know trying to climb through your letter box all day vs being locked inside with an Xbox.

How about no one continually bangs on anyone else’s door at all, and even if the child isn’t aware that it’s not socially acceptable to bang on strangers doors, the police have a word with him and let him know and the problem is solved.

I don’t know why people seem to think a child whacking someone’s door all day and breaking in to their garage is normal

This is a young child who is behaving inappropriately and being left to roam - it's a massive safeguarding concern, even if he's harmless he sounds vulnerable and perhaps not getting the care/support he needs from home. Definitely report this to SS. Funnily enough I just did my child protection refresher training and once case study was massively similar to this. Child with an alcoholic abusive step dad who roamed the streets rather than going hone to it and behaved poorly out of frustration

@PlanDeRaccordement

I suppose you’d all rather that children be unseen and unheard. With that kind of attitude they might as well be on an Xbox inside all day. Children make noise when they play outside. Maybe I’m just used to it because the children here play outside and they get up to all kinds of imaginative play. Too I actually know the children in my neighbourhood. I talk to them. I don’t ignore them, walk away from them when they’re speaking to me, and have paranoid thoughts about them being menaces. OP doesn’t know this child and that’s why she is afraid, because he is unknown to her. She hasn’t bothered to speak one nice word to him. Her total interaction has been to shout at him for riding his bicycle on a neighbours driveway! (Ridiculous).

NO. We'd prefer a balance where children have some freedom to play outside in a way which is safe for the child and also doesn't massively disturb the neighborhood. There are plenty of ways of playing which don't involve banging on stranger's doors, breaking into garages, playing with building materials. Not only is this child a nusicence he's also putting himself in a vulnerable position. Hammering on the wrong person's door could lead him into serious problems.

I would contact the police.

Hopefully, intervention now might help. The police have links with social services and schools. They will have access to information you would never be privy to in order to decide the best course of action.

I would say social services but as he is displaying anti social behaviour / harassment to your neighbours I think the police would be best.

Can I just say. I do not ignore children. I don't mind children approaching my children. I have had children before at the parks that are older take my toddlers under their wing and help them for example. It's lovely and i like it when they get to interact like that.

Have I been horrible about this young lad? My neighbours drive hasn't been pegged down or cemented yet. So it should not be ridden on. This boy who you are saying is playing out has been shouting verbal abuse through their letterbox. Her children are 10 and 9. How do you think her children feel hearing him effing and blinding through their letterbox at their mum and dad?

At what age do you expect a child to understand no means no? He's nearer teen than he is toddler. He's possibly completed primary school.

There are different personalities in children. Some are more outspoken, confident, street wise etc. But he has been told at least twice that no, he can not have the man's motorbikes. Yet he continues to hammer and shout.

I don't mind kids playing outside at all. This boy doesn't need to be inside all day. But he needs to behave himself and stop harrassing people. In 5 years time on average he will be a man. Then what's he going to be like if he's never been corrected?

If the young boy does have a type of learning difficulty then I'm sorry but his mum and dad should be more aware of what he's doing. He shouldn't be allowed to roam around when he doesn't understand what's acceptable, such as boundaries and riding in someone's garden. Going in a half built garage. What if he got hurt? What if the slabs toppled on him or the roof collapsed on him? What if moves the wrong thing.

What if he breaks their door climbing up it? What if he has damaged the blocks that are not get fixed down?

Get real. He is a menace. The lad probably hasn't been taught any different. Not all parents are present. But then again some parents do all they can and the child is just hard work.but why should other people be harrassed by him?

Definitely report, he sounds like a right little you know what. Needs putting in his place now before it's a real gun

Yes of course @PlanDeRaccordement.

The only two options when it comes to children is letting them wreak havoc or shutting them up with xboxes.

If you have to use hyperbolic nonsense to make your point, chances are it’s not a very good one.