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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to think the shop owner was rude for no reason

407 replies

Issania87 · 17/10/2020 19:41

Hi all,

So I took my 2 year old out to the shops with me earlier, and as we were on the way back to the car we stopped at a greengrocer.

I picked some items and went to the till to pay with my son, and then as she was ringing up with items I heard her mutter rudely "oh great". I looked up and saw that my son had picked up a carrot and chopped the end off of it. I turned back to her and asked her to please add the carrot on to my bill, and she did so. I paid, and then as I was putting the items into my bag, I heard her say "oh for God's sake", and I turned and my son had taken a strawberry off a punnet and eaten it. I admit I did lose my temper a little because the whole time we had been in the store from the moment we walked in, she had looked at us like we were both pieces of poo on the floor, so I said to her that there was no need to be rude, and immediately apologised and offered to swap the punnet with the one I had purchased, and she basically told me that she wasn't being rude and I needed to watch my child. I said to her that I was watching my child I just had to pack my bag, and said it wasn't like he had done anything major, he had eaten one strawberry. She said to me that he can't just go around helping himself to food, and I said yes I realise that but he is only 2, to which she replied well he needs to be in a buggy then, my children would have been in a buggy at that age.

Now, I am by no means suggesting I dont realise that my son was naughty in what he did, because I do, and I have never had a problem with him in those kind of shops before or of course I would have taken a buggy with me, but AIBU by thinking that she completely overreacted and there was no reason to be so rude to me?

OP posts:
Dailyhandtowelwash · 17/10/2020 20:27

Pretty sure most business people value an offer to pay for damaged goods over an apology. Particularly if they’ve already demonstrated that they’re not big on polite interactions.

GirlCrush · 17/10/2020 20:27

@gancanny plenty here where i live.....plenty of threads here on it too

lots of moaning about not being able to try on clothing in certain stores

Gancanny · 17/10/2020 20:27

Oh come on! Toddlers will try to grab stuff unless you stop them. It’s not a surprise.

It is if your toddler hasn't done it before. One of my DC was a whirlwind toddler and I knew not to take my eyes off him or he'd be into everything he wasn't supposed to be. Another was a biddable, placid toddler who would stand nicely next to me and wouldn't dream of touching anything. With the first, I could predict he would touch and so could pre-empt it by not giving him the chance to do it. With the second it would have been a completely unpredictable event as it had not happened previously and was totally out of character.

LolaSmiles · 17/10/2020 20:27

Gancanny
Some stores on a local shopping park near me do. There's one with signs all over the cosmetics area reminding people not to touch items they're not seriously considering buying.

Part of me wanted to roll my eyes because surely you'd only be picking up things you're considering buying, but since seeing the sign I've actually noticed how many people seem to look with their hands, walking around touching loads of things, including the semi-obligatory holding items up for people to see saying "that's nice" and returning it to the rail.

IdkickJilliansass · 17/10/2020 20:28

@TheSeedsOfADream

The irony of someone seemingly unable to communicate in anything other than emojis laughing at other people isn't lost.
😂😂😂
flaviaritt · 17/10/2020 20:28

Pretty sure most business people value an offer to pay for damaged goods over an apology.

It goes without saying that you pay for damaged goods. The apology is for the fact that they were damaged before you paid for them.

Livelovebehappy · 17/10/2020 20:28

Supervise your child. Whether he’s two or not, you still need to make it clear that he shouldn’t do it. That’s how they learn. At what age are you actually going to tell him it’s wrong to take what’s not yours? 🙄

Issania87 · 17/10/2020 20:29

@Emeraude

My daughter is a greedy little ninja and does things like this too so I am also a terrible parent, who has paid for many random items. Everyone in our local farm shop is lovely and only ever tells me that their children are exactly the same. Shopkeeper sounds like a bellend.
Thank you. He has been in shops like this lots of times and I have never had an issue before, so I didn't expect this time to be any different really
OP posts:
Issania87 · 17/10/2020 20:30

@Livelovebehappy

Supervise your child. Whether he’s two or not, you still need to make it clear that he shouldn’t do it. That’s how they learn. At what age are you actually going to tell him it’s wrong to take what’s not yours? 🙄
I pulled him over in the shop and told him off, and asked him to apologise to the shopkeeper. So I am telling him that he can't take things that aren't his, but I am not sure he has the intelligence to know that something isn't yours until you have paid for it yet.
OP posts:
flaviaritt · 17/10/2020 20:31

It is if your toddler hasn't done it before.

Then a bit more foresight is required. Two year olds have only just learned to walk and are still deciding what to do and not do. If you give it a moment’s thought, there’s always every chance they will do something unexpected and it’s not a great excuse that they never have before.

liverbird10 · 17/10/2020 20:31

Hoot cvild there's a moose loose about this hoose.I

(YABU.)

GirlCrush · 17/10/2020 20:31

@Issania87 but we have covid now.....the touching is a problem because of that

nobody would be too bothered about this kind of thing as a one off before covid.

the silver lining here is you have a lovely fruit/veg loving toddler!

BubblyBarbara · 17/10/2020 20:32

This is why I like buying online so I don’t have to deal with such miserable people in the shops, they’ll just go out of business instead. I’m with you OP a little kindness goes a long way with children and I’m shocked how many voted against you.

Gancanny · 17/10/2020 20:32

Then a bit more foresight is required. Two year olds have only just learned to walk and are still deciding what to do and not do. If you give it a moment’s thought, there’s always every chance they will do something unexpected and it’s not a great excuse that they never have before.

See, OP? Psychic powers. Do better next time by working on your clairvoyance.

Dailyhandtowelwash · 17/10/2020 20:33

Anyone genuinely think that an offer to pay didn’t include any element of an apology? The literalness of MN posters never fails to astonish me; I should really be used to it.

flaviaritt · 17/10/2020 20:34

See, OP? Psychic powers. Do better next time by working on your clairvoyance.

It’s this sort of rubbish excuse that annoys people. Of course you don’t need psychic powers to know two year olds will (at some point) do the unexpected. That’s why we watch them.

pictish · 17/10/2020 20:34

@RedRec

You are absolutely, totally in the wrong here. You should have kept your child under control. Allowing him to wander round and maul fruit and veg was rude and irresponsible. And your wide eyed naivete is staggering - I feel for the poor shopkeeper.
Can I offer you some smelling salts?
Thecobwebsarewinning · 17/10/2020 20:34

She was rude but you should have been keeping an eye on him after the carrot incident. What if what he had picked up and put in his mouth had not been fruit but something potentially harmful?

flaviaritt · 17/10/2020 20:34

Anyone genuinely think that an offer to pay didn’t include any element of an apology?

She didn’t say she apologised. OP?

Issania87 · 17/10/2020 20:35

@Gancanny

Then a bit more foresight is required. Two year olds have only just learned to walk and are still deciding what to do and not do. If you give it a moment’s thought, there’s always every chance they will do something unexpected and it’s not a great excuse that they never have before.

See, OP? Psychic powers. Do better next time by working on your clairvoyance.

I'll make sure I order a crystal ball off Amazon 🤣
OP posts:
GirlCrush · 17/10/2020 20:35

op....how much did they charge for the single carrot!

i'm intrigued

flaviaritt · 17/10/2020 20:36

I'll make sure I order a crystal ball off Amazon 🤣

And there we are. Probably why you annoyed her; you think watching your kid requires some sort of superpower.

Twillow · 17/10/2020 20:37

Can 100% understand her annoyance to be fair.

OlympicProcrastinator · 17/10/2020 20:38

@ pictish Grin

Issania87 · 17/10/2020 20:38

@flaviaritt

Anyone genuinely think that an offer to pay didn’t include any element of an apology?

She didn’t say she apologised. OP?

Of course I apologised, and I asked my son to apologise as well.

I'm well aware that his behaviour was unacceptable, and that a shop is not an all you can eat buffet. I just felt like the shopkeeper could have dealt with the situation without being rude.

OP posts:
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