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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think the shop owner was rude for no reason

407 replies

Issania87 · 17/10/2020 19:41

Hi all,

So I took my 2 year old out to the shops with me earlier, and as we were on the way back to the car we stopped at a greengrocer.

I picked some items and went to the till to pay with my son, and then as she was ringing up with items I heard her mutter rudely "oh great". I looked up and saw that my son had picked up a carrot and chopped the end off of it. I turned back to her and asked her to please add the carrot on to my bill, and she did so. I paid, and then as I was putting the items into my bag, I heard her say "oh for God's sake", and I turned and my son had taken a strawberry off a punnet and eaten it. I admit I did lose my temper a little because the whole time we had been in the store from the moment we walked in, she had looked at us like we were both pieces of poo on the floor, so I said to her that there was no need to be rude, and immediately apologised and offered to swap the punnet with the one I had purchased, and she basically told me that she wasn't being rude and I needed to watch my child. I said to her that I was watching my child I just had to pack my bag, and said it wasn't like he had done anything major, he had eaten one strawberry. She said to me that he can't just go around helping himself to food, and I said yes I realise that but he is only 2, to which she replied well he needs to be in a buggy then, my children would have been in a buggy at that age.

Now, I am by no means suggesting I dont realise that my son was naughty in what he did, because I do, and I have never had a problem with him in those kind of shops before or of course I would have taken a buggy with me, but AIBU by thinking that she completely overreacted and there was no reason to be so rude to me?

OP posts:
Hwory · 17/10/2020 19:58

Honestly the 'hes onne likkle' defence drives me insane.

You're an adult. Look after your kids especially after the first instance of him touching/breaking produce.

pictish · 17/10/2020 19:59

Sounds like she was in bad mood quite frankly.

pictish · 17/10/2020 19:59

@makingmammaries

YABU. She was rude, but not for no reason. Most of us have raised toddlers without that happening.
Slow hand clap.
flaviaritt · 17/10/2020 20:00

Sorry, she was absolutely right. Your 2 year old should be in a buggy if you can’t stop him helping himself to produce you haven’t paid for.

Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 17/10/2020 20:00

At 2 your child should know he can't just pick food that isn't for him up and eat it.

She might have been rude, but I bet this isn't the first time she's had to put up with children ruining her stock.

OlympicProcrastinator · 17/10/2020 20:01

Am I missing something here? The OP isn’t asking if she was at fault or not or if she should have been watching her child. She is literally just asking whether or not the shopkeeper was unnecessarily rude.

BananaLlamaConCalma · 17/10/2020 20:02

She was rude but it certainly wasn't for no reason.

Watch your child. If she hadn't been watching, would you have noticed?

Lilybet1980 · 17/10/2020 20:02

She was probably worried about what else in the store your kid had touched that she didn’t see (or just eaten without paying for, but at the moment probably more worried about the germs).

GirlCrush · 17/10/2020 20:02

@gancanny.....theres signs in all stores. doubt this store is any different for touching items.

washing fruit/veg before eating isn't the point. its the touching. touching surfaces, packaging as well. returns to store have to be quarantined before going back on sale. retail audits are strict

you can't try on clothes in many stores....reasonable to assume half eaten fruit would be an issue too

so no, not an 'over reaction' at all

Clymene · 17/10/2020 20:02

@OlympicProcrastinator

Am I missing something here? The OP isn’t asking if she was at fault or not or if she should have been watching her child. She is literally just asking whether or not the shopkeeper was unnecessarily rude.
No, she asked if she was rude for no reason. She was annoyed and showed it. And there was a pretty good reason for it.
flaviaritt · 17/10/2020 20:03

She is literally just asking whether or not the shopkeeper was unnecessarily rude.

And the answer is no. She was reasonably irritated.

Leaannb · 17/10/2020 20:04

@OlympicProcrastinator

Am I missing something here? The OP isn’t asking if she was at fault or not or if she should have been watching her child. She is literally just asking whether or not the shopkeeper was unnecessarily rude.
And she wsnt unnecessarily rude. Op was.
Toothsil · 17/10/2020 20:05

Her attitude was rude, saying "for god's sake" etc. Yes two year olds need to be watched constantly, but you do sometimes need to take your eyes off them while you pay or pack a bag or whatever, and they can move at speed!

Don't give it any more thought, she was rude and it was just one of those things that happens when you have a child. I bet she's forgotten a lot about when hers were small!

LolaSmiles · 17/10/2020 20:05

YABU
I wouldn't say it was particularly rude, but it isn't good service. However, Ican entirely understand her exasperation that just seconds after touching and damaging one product, your DC managed to do exactly the same thing to a different item in the store.

If your DC was being adequately supervised then a one off, sorry and move on would be fine because everyone knows these things happen, but for the exact same thing to happen straight after suggests that you made no effort to properly manage your DC following the first issue.

GirlCrush · 17/10/2020 20:05

shop worker will likely have had enough of this behaviour. covid restrictions require them to ensure sd is observed, masks are worn, hands sanitised.....and produce not endlessly touched!

how many times a day do they have issues enforcing these simple rules? enough is enough and the public just aren't getting it (not all, some are great)

shops face strict audits for covid compliance too

Dailyhandtowelwash · 17/10/2020 20:06

She was being unnecessarily narky and you offered to pay/put right appropriately. Some seriously arsey people on this thread.

Halliehallie9828 · 17/10/2020 20:06

She was irritated because you weren't watching your child properly. Understandable.

Original poster
Issania87 · 17/10/2020 20:06

Thank you, I felt that as I immediately paid for the carrot and when she wasn't happy with swapping the punnets I offered to pay for the second punnet of strawberries (which she declined and then did swap mine with the one he ate one from) I felt like there was absolutely no reason to be rude. I would have understood it if I had laughed or tried to leave without paying for the items, but I didn't, I recognised that she shouldn't lose money because my son couldn't contain himself for 30 seconds.

OP posts:
flaviaritt · 17/10/2020 20:07

She was being unnecessarily narky and you offered to pay/put right appropriately.

It happened twice right in front of her. Once is fair enough (and she was probably a bit narky) but then how did the 2 year old end up eating stuff?

Abendintheriver · 17/10/2020 20:07

She probably was a bit rude but I don't think excessively so. Times are very hard for retail and your kid shouldn't be unsupervised and grabbing stuff. I would have been exasperated too, I mean the carrot was one thing but you'd think you'd keep a close eye on him after that.

OlympicProcrastinator · 17/10/2020 20:07

And the answer is no. She was reasonably irritated

Reasonably irritated isn’t the same as reasonably rude. Who starts a conversation with, “oh for gods sake” to a customer? If everyone thinks that’s ok no wonder customer service is so shite in the UK.

flaviaritt · 17/10/2020 20:08

felt like there was absolutely no reason to be rude

It’s probably this that pissed her off between the first and second times. I’d apologise genuinely if my child was doing this, and tell them off. I wouldn’t be standing there making excuses in my head.

GirlCrush · 17/10/2020 20:09

how much did she charge you for the single carrot op?

flaviaritt · 17/10/2020 20:09

Reasonably irritated isn’t the same as reasonably rude. Who starts a conversation with, “oh for gods sake” to a customer? If everyone thinks that’s ok no wonder customer service is so shite in the UK.

True. It sounds like she was a little off the first time it happened, but not the other.

Original poster
Issania87 · 17/10/2020 20:10

@LolaSmiles

YABU I wouldn't say it was particularly rude, but it isn't good service. However, Ican entirely understand her exasperation that just seconds after touching and damaging one product, your DC managed to do exactly the same thing to a different item in the store.

If your DC was being adequately supervised then a one off, sorry and move on would be fine because everyone knows these things happen, but for the exact same thing to happen straight after suggests that you made no effort to properly manage your DC following the first issue.

I pulled my son back to the side of me while I was packing the items in my bag, but unfortunately the strawberry he went for was within arms reach, and I didn't see as I couldn't look at him and look at my bag. And yes, I probably could have kept a better eye on him but I was flustered and embarassed after the carrot and trying to get out of there as quickly as possible.
OP posts: