AIBU to think the shop owner was rude for no reason

[Issania87]

Hi all,

So I took my 2 year old out to the shops with me earlier, and as we were on the way back to the car we stopped at a greengrocer.

I picked some items and went to the till to pay with my son, and then as she was ringing up with items I heard her mutter rudely "oh great". I looked up and saw that my son had picked up a carrot and chopped the end off of it. I turned back to her and asked her to please add the carrot on to my bill, and she did so. I paid, and then as I was putting the items into my bag, I heard her say "oh for God's sake", and I turned and my son had taken a strawberry off a punnet and eaten it. I admit I did lose my temper a little because the whole time we had been in the store from the moment we walked in, she had looked at us like we were both pieces of poo on the floor, so I said to her that there was no need to be rude, and immediately apologised and offered to swap the punnet with the one I had purchased, and she basically told me that she wasn't being rude and I needed to watch my child. I said to her that I was watching my child I just had to pack my bag, and said it wasn't like he had done anything major, he had eaten one strawberry. She said to me that he can't just go around helping himself to food, and I said yes I realise that but he is only 2, to which she replied well he needs to be in a buggy then, my children would have been in a buggy at that age.

Now, I am by no means suggesting I dont realise that my son was naughty in what he did, because I do, and I have never had a problem with him in those kind of shops before or of course I would have taken a buggy with me, but AIBU by thinking that she completely overreacted and there was no reason to be so rude to me?

She didn't start a conversation with that. She muttered it. Maybe she's fed up of kids groping her merchandise? She didn't know the OP was going to pay.

And at a time when retail is on its knees, I'd imagine she's pretty bloody stressed.

@Clymene i agree...its very tough right now

I work in a supermarket. We're trained to adopt the 'kids will be kids attitude' and we certainly don't reprimand customers like children or demand they pay.

But the fact is you did offer to pay for both goods so it wasn't as if, as a small outfit, she'd be out of pocket, so I can't see what wrong you've done apart from be unable to pack , pay and control an unpredictable 2 yr old all at once without so much of a whiff of an offer of help from a grumpy shopkeeper.

Yes, perhaps you could've had him in a buggy but not all will stay strapped in without either screaming blue murder or trying to escape and injuring themselves (not palatable either).

Relax op, she was a bitch

You are absolutely, totally in the wrong here. You should have kept your child under control. Allowing him to wander round and maul fruit and veg was rude and irresponsible. And your wide eyed naivete is staggering - I feel for the poor shopkeeper.

Reasonably irritated isn’t the same as reasonably rude. Who starts a conversation with, “oh for gods sake” to a customer? If everyone thinks that’s ok no wonder customer service is so shite in the UK
She didn't start with 'oh for God's sake'

She said 'oh great' when the first item was damaged.
The 'for God's sake' happened when after the first item was damaged, the OP's lack of supervision saw her child damage a second item in the shop.

In an ideal world they'd be super cheery and insist on pointing out that it's no big deal, but when we're in a pandemic and shops are having to put signs up reminding adults not to touch every item in the shop, it's really not expecting too much to expect a parent to stop their child touching everything seconds after their DC has already damaged things.

Shopping with a 2 year old requires hyper attention. He needs to be kept right next to you and somehow you have to watch him and coMole the your tasks. It is exhausting, but necessary.

@OlympicProcrastinator

*So hoot cvild was damaging good that she was trying to sell and she's in the wrong?

I'm cringing for you*

And I’m cringing for you after trying to have a dig at the OP with that incoherent drivel.

😂😂😂👍

@LolaSmiles

Reasonably irritated isn’t the same as reasonably rude. Who starts a conversation with, “oh for gods sake” to a customer? If everyone thinks that’s ok no wonder customer service is so shite in the UK She didn't start with 'oh for God's sake'

She said 'oh great' when the first item was damaged.
The 'for God's sake' happened when after the first item was damaged, the OP's lack of supervision saw her child damage a second item in the shop.

In an ideal world they'd be super cheery and insist on pointing out that it's no big deal, but when we're in a pandemic and shops are having to put signs up reminding adults not to touch every item in the shop, it's really not expecting too much to expect a parent to stop their child touching everything seconds after their DC has already damaged things.

Ffs 😂😂

You are completely in the wrong. This may be one shopping trip to you but could be the tip of the iceberg for the shop keeper.

Your child munching on an item the first time was unfortunate but to allow them to do it for a second time? Come on, watch your child!

I know your child is little and super cute to you but really other people don't want munched on food which there would have been if the shop keeper wasn't watching your every move.

*its really not expecting too much to expect a parent to stop their child touching everything seconds after their DC has already damaged things.

“Oh great” or “for gods sake” doesn’t matter. To start with that is rude and antagonist. Totally unnecessarily rude.

However, I do agree with the second part of your post and other PP’s that from then on, from the second incident and the arguing, at that point the shopkeeper probably wasn’t being ‘unnecessarily’ rude.

‘Oh great’ is pretty rude too. Had I spoken to a customer like that in front of my manager when I worked in retail I would have been in trouble, quite rightly.

Toddlers move fast. The OP offered to put everything right, immediately. Service was rude from the outset.

Bloody bold fail!

Anyway OP it’s not worth stressing over now.

The irony of someone seemingly unable to communicate in anything other than emojis laughing at other people isn't lost.

I have never seen any big "don't touch" signs in the shops where I live. People who are worried about their shopping being contaminated are washing it all down and quarantining it anyway, or so threads on MN would have me believe.

@RedRec

You are absolutely, totally in the wrong here. You should have kept your child under control. Allowing him to wander round and maul fruit and veg was rude and irresponsible. And your wide eyed naivete is staggering - I feel for the poor shopkeeper.

Why naive?

Allowing him to wander round and maul fruit and veg

Mauling? The escalation on this thread is comedy gold.

Toddlers move fast. The OP offered to put everything right, immediately.

My toddler never had the chance to grab stuff in shops. And what the OP did was say, “Can you add this to my bill?” when “Oh, I’m so sorry” might have been more appropriate. It’s just more reliable in not pissing people off.

Why naive?

I'm going to guess its because you didn't use your psychic powers to predict that your child was going to act in a way you could not have predicted. Then when your child acted in this unpredictable way you did not immediately cover yourself in sackcloth and ashes and throw yourself on the floor at the shopkeeper's feet to beg forgiveness at the same time as promising to soundly beat your child for his transgressions.

My daughter is a greedy little ninja and does things like this too so I am also a terrible parent, who has paid for many random items. Everyone in our local farm shop is lovely and only ever tells me that their children are exactly the same. Shopkeeper sounds like a bellend.

I'm going to guess its because you didn't use your psychic powers to predict that your child was going to act in a way you could not have predicted.

Oh come on! Toddlers will try to grab stuff unless you stop them. It’s not a surprise.

@TheGoodEnoughWife

You are completely in the wrong. This may be one shopping trip to you but could be the tip of the iceberg for the shop keeper.

Your child munching on an item the first time was unfortunate but to allow them to do it for a second time? Come on, watch your child!

I know your child is little and super cute to you but really other people don't want munched on food which there would have been if the shop keeper wasn't watching your every move.

Actually no, there wouldn't have been munched on food if the shopkeeper wasn't watching me, because regardless, like I did, if I saw him eat ANYTHING I would have paid for it and never ever would have left it there for someone else to purchase.

You are absolutely, totally in the wrong here. You should have kept your child under control. Allowing him to wander round and maul fruit and veg was rude and irresponsible. And your wide eyed naivete is staggering

And the award for the most hyperbolic, over the top award goes to.....

(Extra points for the ‘mauling’ of veg and the word ‘staggering’ for extra effect).

@Gancanny

Why naive?

I'm going to guess its because you didn't use your psychic powers to predict that your child was going to act in a way you could not have predicted. Then when your child acted in this unpredictable way you did not immediately cover yourself in sackcloth and ashes and throw yourself on the floor at the shopkeeper's feet to beg forgiveness at the same time as promising to soundly beat your child for his transgressions.

Well I have definitely learnt my lesson!

if I saw him eat ANYTHING I would have paid for it and never ever would have left it there for someone else to purchase.

He shouldn’t be eating stuff unless you’ve paid for it. It’s not yours until it’s been paid for. People walking round shops eating the merchant’s produce is the sort of thing that annoys people.

Tip of the iceberg? Ha ha, sorry, no pun intended.

Seriously, though, this wouldn't be on my radar. In our shop, we've had druggies threaten to stab staff with an HIV infected needle, shoplifters bite staff when apprehended and claiming to have hepatitis, customers screaming and swearing a tirade of verbal and racist abuse at staff for doing their jobs, and perfectly fit and healthy customers demanding a case of wine in compensation for having to walk one metre to the customer service desk where their issue will be sorted in about 30 seconds