To think it is neglectful to let your child get overweight

[jackson14478]

If you cannot provide your child with basic nutrition, a balanced diet and enough exercise, would you say it's child neglect?

I know for a fact that low income/benefits families can feed their children a healthy diet at a similar cost to an unhealthy one. I've done it and so have friends.

Letting your child become grossly overweight through no fault of their own is not responding to their basic needs

I agree, unless the child is obese due to medical issues, ie thyroid issues. It's awful to overweight children and setting them up for a host of problems when they are older. Like it or not being overweight does come with more health implications for children, ie more likely to have high blood pressure, cholesterol, type 2 diabetes. If being overweight can be avoided then a parent should try their hardest to ensure it

But you didn't actually ask about any of those things. You only mentioned child neglect. Which wasn't goady at all

Yup.

DS is autistic and due to associated sensory issues he does not have any sense of being full and derives pleasure from chewing and swallowing. Despite best endeavours, he is overweight because of this. His paediatrician and dietician both agree he would be far more overweight than he actually is without the control measures we have in place but it is a careful balancing act between not creating anxiety around his weight/eating and preventing him from eating until he vomits. He hides food, takes food that isn't his, gets additional food at school or buys unhealthy food as they have a free choice canteen system, and so on.

I know for a fact that low income/benefits families can feed their children a healthy diet at a similar cost to an unhealthy one. I've done it and so have friends

Your virtue is signalling brighter than the bat signal. Well done OP, well done.

Lots of children that are very overweight have sensory issues causing obsessive compulsive behaviour towards food, its common for children on the spectrum.
Children who are devious, sneak food and have obsessive thoughts about eating are very often on the spectrum, its a very common sensory processing issue,, but due to weight stigma are often failed.

"Goady" is such a good word.

@ClementineWoolysocks

I know for a fact that low income/benefits families can feed their children a healthy diet at a similar cost to an unhealthy one. I've done it and so have friends

Your virtue is signalling brighter than the bat signal. Well done OP, well done.

"Virtue signalling" is such a good expression too.

People have different beliefs as to what health is. Some people don't see it as unhealthy or a problem

There have been so many threads in MN where mums have asked wtf do they do about grandparents who help with childcare but who won't stop feeding the kids crap. They are told to be grateful for free childcare and to suck it up or pay fir a childminder. Then those who complain about the childminder feeding their kids crap they are gaslighted into the food not being "that bad" and what do they expect when there are several other children to feed etc

Seems anyone who wants to feed their children healthily is told they are selfish or uptight or ungrateful and judgmental.

But then if they posted their kids diet as what they feed them themselves they would he told its too much sugar, too much food, too processed etc

Literally can't win, its pretty messed up

Sometimes it’s parental ignorance in which case parent education is needed, but under Tory government funding for sure start centres/ children’s centres and parenting classes was cut. So it’s harder than ever to get to the families that need help and interventions.
In our town we are lucky to have a charity (no Government funding at all), which runs parenting classes including cooking and budgeting. The demand for these is very high and it’s shocking how many of these adults have no concept of how to feed their kids healthy food.

So what's your insightful opinion about adult obesity, OP?

I know for a fact that low income/benefits families can feed their children a healthy diet at a similar cost to an unhealthy one. I've done it and so have friends

I bet you had access to supermarkets, either online or in person. And I bet you had a reliable gas and electricity supply in order to cook whatever needed to be cooked and to run a frudge-freezer to store it. And I also bet you had at least some basic knowledge of what is or isn't healthy and knew a few recipes as a starting point. I also bet you were able to look up additional recipes and meal inspiration either online or via books. And I bet you had the control in your day to day life and the mental fortitude to crack on with things, get through it as best you could, and all while working towards a better future.

That's called privilege and not everyone on a low income or on benefits has the things that you had. Just because you managed, doesn't mean every can/does manage.

Actually, I agree.

I'm a fully grown adult woman. And a fat bastard

That is entirely down to my decisions/circumstances/whatever. Whether consciously or unconsciously, I've made those choices. I'm a grown up (allegedly). They're my choices and nobody else's.

I don't believe that parents have the right to make similar choices for their children (or their pets for that matter) as it's not their bodies they're damaging. Same as for those who underfeed/starve/overly restrict their children (or pets). It's a parent's responsibility (or pet owner's) to feed them well, not too much, not too little, with adequate nutrition.

@WinstonWolf
So children living in flats are all overweight?
What a nonsense, easy to get out on a bike, scooter etc or workout to online exercise.

I would look at it same way like if child was underweight. Either there is a medical problem or parents are neglecting to properly feed the DC🤷🏻

However, there is never a way to discuss weight on MN, no matter how you would start a thread, because everyone is overweight due to poverty and/or medical issues. Never any other reason. Oh, wait. Carbs👀

I don’t think it’s neglect. I think I know where your coming from OP I wouldn’t use that word. It could be ignorance if a parent is overweight they are likely to pass these habits onto their child without realising.

Everyone has an idea of what slim is and this is where the lines get blurred. I often read on here on here that clothes sizes vary and how people have a pair of trousers size 10 from X and they have another pair of trousers from X 16 I mean really 3 dress sizes difference.

Although it’s not about people on a low income. They will be plenty of people shopping in Sainsburys or Waitrose indulging or over too.

Agree. How people can't see their kids are fat is beyond me. And if they can why they don't do something about it. But often they themselves are overweight/very overweight. It's really sad to see. But we'll be flamed.

Yes I think if a child is overweight because they are fed shit food all day everyday and aren’t taken out to do any exercise then that is neglectful and verging abusive.

However, there is never a way to discuss weight on MN, no matter how you would start a thread, because everyone is overweight due to poverty and/or medical issues. Never any other reason

Funny thing is that you can't tell by looking whether someone who is overweight is overweight because they have a genetic condition or a developmental condition or a medical condition or are living on a low income or in poverty or has mental health issues relating to food or uses food as a method of self-harm or is an emotional eater or whether they're just a greedy bastard who can't control themselves.

And because it's impossible to tell by looking perhaps its best not to judge others and to instead concentrate on your own life and your own children.

Beak out, as the saying goes.

Yep, it’s sad when you see a fat child being led around by fat parents. They don’t stand a chance of a healthy relationship with food being raised like that. It should be treated akin to starving them.

@EarringsandLipstick

Reported this one as I think it's purely set up for goadiness.

You’re barking. It was a fair question about a very serious concern. Please post your list of things we’re not allowed to discuss immediately.

Only when other people stop feeding my kid rubbish will I have a chance.

Yes! I was fed up having the argument with DD that you don’t need pudding after every meal. Ironically it was lock down that broke her of the habit, having had no school meals for 6 months she has finally stopped asking.

What kid needs a “snack” of cake and custard at 4.30pm at ASC, an hour before dinner? And the number of times I have to explain no, you can’t have that cake you decorated at brownies at 7.30 at night. Of course, I am her parent, and I can set the rules and explain to her about healthy eating but bloody hell, it is a relentless task when everyone else decides cakes and sweets and treats are an everyday occurrence.

I completely agree. It’s often parents just overindulging their children and not wanting to say no.

I agree with the points about autism and genetics. It's not as simple as people like to think.