To think DM is an insufferable snob?

[WWYD2020]

Recent visit to DM and she comment on DCs off white vest UNDER sleepsuit.

Apparently people will think we are ‘poor, rough and like those pp (pupil premium or something) kids at school’. It’s not just her apparently she’s heard it many times from others too.

I’m raging, do people actually judge children based on their parents not separating whites when washing. Is that even a thing? I’ve never ever thought of it EVER.

@Harehedge

With little babies, it's handy to throw whites (the same colour as the milk) into a bucket of napisan and then put through a very hot wash to kill bacteria in the milk stains.

I would not want to put other clothes through this treatment so use white or mainly white baby gros and vests to build up enough for a wash easily.

By chance, this keeps whites white. But it's really to avoid bacteria building up in the clothes. I wonder if this is what she's really thinking of, or how people came to think this way.

I've never done this and I don't think anyone else I know does it either (I certainly don't know anyone who dresses their baby in all white) - why would there be bacteria in milk stains that are more resistant to washing than any other kind of food stain? What are the consequences to not doing this - are babies across the land getting infections from their baby gros? I'm a lot less careful than this with clothes/wipes with actual poo on them...

As the daughter of someone who couldn’t see the point in separating out whites from colours or worrying about stains, I would never do that to my child. Kids very often do notice grey/yellow whites and stains and it can be the basis of bullying.

If I had to wait to do a load of "whites" we would be waiting a very long time . I think in the house of 4 of us there is 1 white shirt, a couple of white baby grows and a bed sheet.... They just get chucked in with everything else (not jeans or black clothes...)

@alexdgr8

i couldn't possible use that triple section laundry basket; they have spelled colour incorrectly. supposing someone saw it.

Haha! Mine has piping on the sides of the cream canvas bags so you know which is white darks and coloureds. I hadn't noticed the spelling but I agree it would drive me potty too!

all whites will grey over time regardless

I hate to come over a bit Hinchy about this, for fear of losing my "Britain's Biggest Slattern" award, but a bit of Napisan in the soap powder tray of the machine when doing a white wash works a treat.

I reckon it's essentially a bleach, so I wouldn't do it every time or it will knacker the fabric, but it works a treat on anything I've ever used it on. I don't have enough white stuff to do anything resembling a full load, so whites go in with pale stuff, but if I have something white that's started to go dingy, I gather everything white I can find and give it all the Napisan treatment.

Grey is a sign the clothes have been worn, perhaps handed down from a sibling. Not brand new and replaced at the first sign of not being perfect.

My Boss is very posh indeed and last year one of his shirts had a noticeably large ink stain on it. Someone pointed it out to him and he said he knew about it but it wouldnt come out and he wasnt wasting a perfectly good shirt.

You’re mother would love me. I’ve never done a white wash in my life. 😆

I live in a ‘naice’ area and don’t know anyone for whom this is a priority.

The conditioning of that generation in terms of presentation and cleanliness is quite something. My mother irons socks and pants and thinks polo shirts are the work of the devil. I just do not have time for that shit.

Your mother. In case she takes me to task for grammar too.

@TeaAndStrumpets

Well I have been thinking back to ye olden days....Our washing was done in a boiler, it did actually boil. Whites went in first, then coloured things as the water cooled. Whites were always white, because they were washed at a really high temperature. Being poor did not have to mean grey clothing. Maybe the implication is that "poor" children didn't have clean clothes put on them regularly? We were pretty poor and were bathed once a week, because the electric immersion cost a fortune.

Btw old vests and pants became dusters eventually, which nicely covers all the bases on this thread! Our skirting boards were spotless because Mum had five children and we were given jobs to do.

Your mum was a clever woman! I'll give my 5yo a duster this morning and point her towards the skirting boards 😁

I dont separate whites now I can't see any difference? What are people doing with their clothes/washing that makes some big dramatic issue?

I once asked the young (Irish traveller) mum of a child in DDs class, how she got the kids socks so amazingly clean.
She said she put a new pair on her everyday and was astonished that I would waste time trying to wash them.
The scruffiest kids at my DC school were the ones who after primary school went off to £40k a year boarding school

08:35Hardbackwriter

Well, I don't think you have done a quick survey of everyone you know now but it wouldn't mean much, would it. Bacteria in milk can grow if not killed by a hot wash and milky tops are really only a problem for babies, hence treating it differently. I don't know if babies across the land do get sick in the circumstances you describe but if you want to actually clean your babies' clothes, this is one way it was taught.

I seperate my whites but not vests etc. No one sees them so who cares. I hate off white polo shirts and I'm poor so 🤷🏻‍♀️

Those of you sating that you don't have enough clothes to make up a white wash - don't you have white sheets/light coloured duvet sets/light cooured towels?

I don't have enough for a white wash and usually wash whte clothes with white sheets. As out whites are cotton I wash at 60 degrees with the sheets.

Are you my sister 😂 my mum is like this, total weirdo about what makes a person common/posh etc. She once sniffed at the way I ate soup at a wedding because I dipped my bread in it 🙄 apparently the naice way to eat soup is to not have the bread come into contact with the soup, but pull a bit of bread off and butter the individual piece and eat the soup and bread separately.

Like WHO GIVES A SHIT!!! Why don't you have actual problems?! If you are such an anal weirdo that fear of what other people think stops you from enjoying basic things in life, like eatin soup the way you want, then I have no sympathy for you.

nobeer my Mum was a great believer in forced labour Added incentive was no chores done, no pocket money. Children are the perfect height for cleaning skirting boards!

@Harehedge taught by who?! And since you said it necessitated wearing all white baby clothes I can tell it isn't common practice without conducting any survey, just by looking at all the babies in clothes in colours other than white...

apparently the naice way to eat soup is to not have the bread come into contact with the soup, but pull a bit of bread off and butter the individual piece and eat the soup and bread separately

Oh that takes me back to the days where we had to go to the Berni Inn to spend Dad's paper Luncheon Vouchers and were given bread rolls but we were not allowed to cut them open nor butter them all in one go. We had to rip a small piece off, butter it then eat it then break another small piece off.

I dont know whether to blame the grammar school for teaching her all these daft rules about what was common and not-common about running a house, what to wear, how to speak, how to act - or whether she clung to those rules and added to them as a way of control over the absolutely shitty home life she had no control over.

My mother often comments on how I hang out washing (incorrectly apparently), that I am not stringent enough on my colour separations (I sometimes but dark and colours together) and that I don’t use softener enough!

I don’t think it’s a class or snobbery issue - just the judgemental mother😂.

She would never say I appear poor, she would say lazy.

Crikey. It’s a VEST!!! So what if it’s a bit grey?

I separate my whites, but baby vests do get a bit grey over time unless you use a smidge of bleach. It’s a sign of being environmentally friendly - why buy new when you can reuse? My DD has new uniform for school because I like her to look smart for school. But I’m expecting twin boys and they will be wearing the same vests that DD wore, and have been worn by (in some cases) 6 children before her. They aren’t stained, they aren’t worn out but they are a little grey as they’ve probably sneaked into the odd non-white wash now and then between all the different people who’ve had them. They are worn underneath something! Buying all new clothes for something that won’t get seen is very unenvironmental. Tell your DMIL she’s being old fashioned - reduce, reuse, recycle! You’re not poor, you’re ultramodern

@ItStartedWithAKiss241

Why would you not separate your whites? Why buy clothes just to ruin them? X

because (a) they're not ruined if they're just slightly discoloured and (b) most people have more interesting things to occupy their time/mind with. X

hard

I can't remember. I read a wide range of baby books which with your user name I expect you did too. It could have been Gina Ford. But women have been boiling baby clothes since our grandmothers' time. No I didn't say it necessitated wearing all white though it's hard on colours.... Most baby gros and vests are white or partly white, I find. Not sure why you are so horrified by any of this. It's not going to be written into law.

Your DM comments were harsh. I would separate whites from colours though. It makes sense to do so. Grey clothes can look grubby and it’s not very nice. However if it was just the odd item it wouldn’t bother me.

I'm not horrified, I just think it's pointless busy work which is the last thing new mothers need! And I have genuinely never seen it advocated as necessary or even advisable that milk stained clothes are treated in any sort of special way, which is why I was curious.