To think DM is an insufferable snob?

[WWYD2020]

Recent visit to DM and she comment on DCs off white vest UNDER sleepsuit.

Apparently people will think we are ‘poor, rough and like those pp (pupil premium or something) kids at school’. It’s not just her apparently she’s heard it many times from others too.

I’m raging, do people actually judge children based on their parents not separating whites when washing. Is that even a thing? I’ve never ever thought of it EVER.

@copperoliver

Excellent 😁

@SimonJT

They’re vests, who cares if they’re a bit grey or stained. Vest and pants is standard messy play clothing here, if I threw away every vest or pair of pants with a stain I would be buying new ones constantly.

My son is PP, I’m a higher rate tax payer, that should bamboozle your mum OP.

I'm guessing your son's mother is on benefits but you're a high earner?

(No judgement from me, my child has pp also due to my disabilities)

@DC3Dakota My sons non-existent mother is not in benefits.

Hes adopted.

In the part of the world I live, you would be more looked down on if you're whites were very white since you are obviously washing your clothes in an unecological fashion which is a major middle class pursuit round here

@minty133

A friend of mine used to look down on people who left their clothes drying on their radiators when she went to visit them.

To be fair, I do think you should put your washing away when people come round. Along with picking the toys off the floor, and washing the dishes.

Maybe not if it’s your immediate family, but otherwise yes I would tidy up a bit if I was expecting visitors.

@OnCandyStripeLegs

My mother had a whole list of things that were common like eating in the street, wearing patent shoes, red shoes (lots of shoe related ones) She also lost her previously very strong potteries accent, deliberately. There were all sorts of washing related rules as well but these days they have these things called colour catchers which solve most of those

I’m from the potteries with a very stoke accent still- your mum would loath me!!

I was told by my grandma that some people thought (not her, she was very liberal) that only prostitutes wore red shoes. Might have been a code, like the red light thing. The black tights, she said, came from the war where only women who were knocking off GI's had black stockings so they got a reputation as a slapper. But I cant help thinking that a woman who had stockings of any colour was probably knocking off a GI or friends with the local spiv :o

She also said (I think only half joking) "I was looker back then, perhaps I should have waited for the Americans instead of marrying Grandad in '39". Bless her dear sweet heart, I think she would have been a real anarchist if she was born now.

I don’t think not separating colours and whites makes you poor, but I do think it makes you lazy!!

SuzieQQQ

It means twice as many washes, twice as much detergent, twice as much drying time if you’re in a small household without enough clothes to fill loads.

Environmental terrorism. 😉

Plus. Where do you wash dark navy and white striped things?

I have a demanding full time job, my husband works about 70 hours a week and I have two small children.

If anyone thinks I’m ‘lazy’ for not separating washing they can go do one. I have far better things to do with my time than unnecessary laundry faff.

twice as much detergent, twice as much drying time

If there’s a smaller wash you’d reduce the proportion of detergent, like wise with drying. Less items less time on the dryer.

I think there’s an argument for less variety of chemicals of all in one method.

Ok, it seems there is a vast variety of opinions. I don’t see it as lazy to not separate washing, if I have a white stained item it would get a special hot bleachy type detergent wash.

It’s totally unnecessary to double the amount of time spent doing washing. Especially with a new baby who is going to plop on it anyway. I think these opinions of hers have come as she’s gotten older and has more time on her hands.

Thinking back to childhood, if there was a party or something over ours after school she’d purposely not clean/tidy because ‘kids make a mess anyways’ so would do it after. Which makes sense but shows she’s not always been (IMO) snobby about what we looked like.

Some people have really odd views on this , my dm drove me mad with this when ds1 was a baby but now I just roll my eyes and laugh on the rare occasions she mentions anything.

I had it the other way around my df (just as bad as dm) commented when ds1 was a baby that when i had taken his top off and he had a white vest underneath that because it was so white wasn't i good for taking such care of him. I was thoroughly confused and sleep deprived and said "well he is still alive is that what you mean?" They had to explain it's because his vest was so white ( I had just bought it).

Then again from those two;
Putting the milk bottle on the table or where it could be seen was common
Hats indoors (any form of baseball cap anywhere S well) was common
Using the term knackered
Not wearing tights with a skirt (I do but because my legs get cold)
Jumpers without shirts underneath
Cereal boxes left on the table during the toast section of breakfast
No tablecloth during meals
Drinking out of bottles .....ever
Eating or drinking in public at any point not sat down in a restaurant

And 693688 other things.

By the time I hit my late twenties I used to do things quite a lot to annoy them on purpose

@TheKeatingFive well said!

I might share a pic of the offending vest? I don’t see a difference 😂

Oh and at 72 my df has never worn Jean's because it's just not done

Top is new whiney bright white vest.

Bottom is vest worn a handful of times and apparently makes us look poor, pp and what ever else.

And yes, OH MY GOD I DONT IRON THEM EITHER. The blasphemy

Shiny*** not whiney

Other than my sons 6 school shirts there is nothing else white in my household and I have zero intention of putting on a wash just for 6 child sized shirts. Our towels aren’t white, our bedsheets ( with the exception of one spare duvet cover set) for the most part aren’t white.

Nothing to do with being lazy it takes me 1 minute to separate the clothes but why would I want to be that irresponsible financially and environmentally for 6 kids shirts, shirts that you literally only see the collar of for most of the academic year because let’s face it, by the time it gets really silly hot and they don’t need jumpers, they only have about a term left at school until they break for the 6 weeks then we end up buying new ones again anyway as they grown out of them.

If people want to judge you, let them judge you. It’s ten minutes of their life they’re not judging someone else. It is very little to do with you and a lot to do with the kind of person they are.

This has made me laugh so much. My partners mother berated us for not separating our whites and looked utterly disgusted. I just told her I prefer my life not to be dictated to several separate washes but she was MORE than welcome to do my washing from now on. Soon shut her up!

I've just had a moment. I remembered my MIL coming in to our house when I'd just had baby number 2. ThenDH was ironing his work shirts. MIL took one look and said 'doesn't she iron?' (imagine Lady Bracknell, with slightly more nose lift).

I was actually bf the tiny tiny underweight bundle that was DD at the time.

It was then I knew that my MIL had Standards that would never be mine.

A few years ago DS2 was at the local school. I was married then and had nothing that might be considered "deprived" about us. Now DS3 is there. I've gone through a horrible and stigmatising divorce (due to the circumstances which I'm not going to detail here) and I'm on WTC. The attitude from the school is definitely a much more condescending, poor single mum type this time round. People do judge your family for things you can't help. My mum was very scared of being judged as our school was very down on single mums and was consequently fanatical about things like washing and ironing uniform, us having perfect hair, short scrubbed nails, polished shoes etc. We were enrolled in "middle class" hobbies and told to speak correctly or people would think we were rough. It's crap living in the shadows of what others think or might think. Not so much for the kids as the parent with such high stress levels.

Milk bottle on the table. I'd forgotten how that was the last word in 'commonness'. The first time I saw a milk bottle on the table was in an early episode of Coronation Street (I was in someone else's house, obviously, because Corrie? Common, obviously). The offending item belonged to Elsie Tanner, the trollop. This thread has caused me to notice an assortment of dingy grey knickers and bras drying on my radiator (also Common). They do look awful. Time to shop.

lol. Obviously the image you can’t see it, but it was greying enough for your mother to visibly notice it.

Of course it’s snobby but greying whites just look old and knackered normally that’s where she’s coming from, they just look a bit done in.

I thought keeping clothes whiter than white was just a myth peddled by tv adverts! It's really true? One can keep clothes white? Cos I sure as hell have never managed it, I must be a shit housewife