To think DM is an insufferable snob?

[WWYD2020]

Recent visit to DM and she comment on DCs off white vest UNDER sleepsuit.

Apparently people will think we are ‘poor, rough and like those pp (pupil premium or something) kids at school’. It’s not just her apparently she’s heard it many times from others too.

I’m raging, do people actually judge children based on their parents not separating whites when washing. Is that even a thing? I’ve never ever thought of it EVER.

I had to laugh at the milk bottle (or carton) on the table comment; I've never seen that anywhere except in my house and that when I'm in a hurry/on my own. My mother would have had apoplexy at the thought!

Bluntness makes a good point about greying whites looking old and tatty (my paraphrase): it isn't that difficult to wash whites on their own and if you don't have many, most machines have a half load programme. It does keep them fresh and new looking for longer.

I'm wondering about the milk bottle one now.

Ours was never on the side ever, always kept in the fridge. It was taken out to put in the tea cups and then put back. Taken out to pour on cereal and then put back. I assumed it was to keep it fresh, although the amount we go through due to tea addicted parents, that seems pointless.

Elsie Tanner was a proper trollop wasnt she?! Although thinking back, I am wondering exactly what she did that earned that reputation apart from actually voicing her opinions without concern of what anyone thought of her!

Oh, Elsie Tanner. She was, I'm afraid, 'no better than she should be' and probably owned a cheap leopard print coat and white high heels. Dont worry about your milk bottle pyongyang, milk bottle in the fridge was fine, it was being blatantly exposed to one and all on the table that mattered. And Ketchup bottles, brown sauce bottles, vinegar, salad cream etc. Sliced bread in its wrapper. Sugar in its packet. Pretty much everything now I think of it, had to be decanted into something else and/or prepared in the kitchen before appearing in its less naked form on the dinner table. This was the era of women being housewives with a lot of time devoted to cleaning and cooking daily. And, of course, ensuring that no neighbours washing would 'make my whites look grey'😱

Oh yeah! We had a sugar bowl and bread was never on the table unless already prepared into a sandwich.

In fact on the subject of bread, my mothers ultimate definition of "common" was serving slices of bread with a hot dinner. But then, she never had sons so wasnt, until her grandsons hit their teens, aware of the fact that a MASSIVE dinner will still need a bread back up to fill them up!

This is quite funny, I am the type to judge is people don't have off white clothes, but I wouldn't think they're poor, just that they haven't been taught how to do laundry (DH taught me, always had someone to do it at my parents home) Your mother is absolutely a snob. Don't listen to her. Most people will notice how cute your child is, not that they have off white clothing.

The bread! I'd forgotten the bread. Bread with a hot meal? Never. Not until I married a northerner who'd never had a meal without it as far as I could tell. I put my nesh southern ways to one side.

I had no idea about the bread with a hot meal thing! I often do this, especially when we have company - I thought I was being fancy

Well and truly put in my place lol. I guess that's what I get for being a northerner

Bread with a main meal?Northerners are strange. I've lived here quite a few years now and never seen that, although most my friends are in a similar situation to me and didn't live here from their childhood.

Maybe it's died out over the years as our food choices have become more varied? I never managed to adjust to the bread with dinner thing though.

Not separating washing, especially whites, resulting in them looking grey, does look "poor" because it looks scruffy. That's your answer OP. It doesn't take a lot of effort to care.

And I run a company and work a lot of hours and still have time to separate the washing - whites - darks - pastels. All inside out. It's really simple because the washing machine washes it for you.

I should say that I dont serve bread with dinner, but I will allow the boys to help themselves afterwards if they are still hungry.

When I was a child my DM couldn’t keep her whites white. I spend all of my pocket money in Woolworths buying socks and tried to hide them from her,

Bread with dinner Oh I loved that at my grandparents - my mother hated it. Also leaving condiments on the table, milk in a bottle not in a jug.

Was there a book of all these rules?

It's just occurred to me that many of us had parents who themselves had been brought up by parents who had been 'in service'. There would have been unbreakable rules in place as to the 'correct' way to do things. I expect this inflexibility has permeated through subsequent generations. Now I think of it, my mother's grandmother was a cook. One of her daughters became a family's lifetime nanny, impeccably turned out, white socked, for 3 generations. Let's blame Downton Abbey. I reckon we're all still trying to emulate 'our betters'

@longwayoff you are a long way off

Milk in a jug if being used at the table😁

Are you sure about that Dusty? How bright are your whites? As you indicate you are descended from those whose laundry was done by others. Have you overcome years of conditioning re lifting a finger or did you have a nanny as relentlessly spotless as my Gt Aunt Lizzie?

@OnCandyStripeLegs

Bread with dinner Oh I loved that at my grandparents - my mother hated it. Also leaving condiments on the table, milk in a bottle not in a jug.

Was there a book of all these rules?

I've never heard of bread with dinner except when soup is served. Why would anyone have that if the dinner is sufficient?

@jessstan1, traditionally a cheap way of filling up hungry people, rather than having to provide more of the ‘expensive’ (meat) part of the meal. Like the way Yorkshire puddings used to be served with gravy before the meat course to take the edge off hunger before the meat.

I'm 70 and have never seen that, can't imagine it. Bread with soup or at breakfast or tea, yes, but not with dinner. Oh well, we live and learn.

Ah jessstan1, you're opening up another North South divide here. Lunch, dinner, supper, tea . . . Who's eating what, where and at what time? With bread or without? White socks on or off? Lunch and dinner down here, no bread. Dinner and tea with bread, north of Watford, I think. And gravy. Lots of it.

My DMIL has been known to ‘inspect’ relatives’ homes for cleanliness and report her findings to the woman of the home. She will also refuse to eat in any home or restaurant that does not use cloth napkins.

The first guest who did that to me would be handed her coat and shown where the door is.

@longwayoff

Ah jessstan1, you're opening up another North South divide here. Lunch, dinner, supper, tea . . . Who's eating what, where and at what time? With bread or without? White socks on or off? Lunch and dinner down here, no bread. Dinner and tea with bread, north of Watford, I think. And gravy. Lots of it.

Oh gravy, yes! A bucket full preferably.

@longwayoff

Ah jessstan1, you're opening up another North South divide here. Lunch, dinner, supper, tea . . . Who's eating what, where and at what time? With bread or without? White socks on or off? Lunch and dinner down here, no bread. Dinner and tea with bread, north of Watford, I think. And gravy. Lots of it.

Excuse me?!

North of Watford and we have B,L & D! Or maybe you meant north of the Watford Gap?