To think DM is an insufferable snob?

[WWYD2020]

Recent visit to DM and she comment on DCs off white vest UNDER sleepsuit.

Apparently people will think we are ‘poor, rough and like those pp (pupil premium or something) kids at school’. It’s not just her apparently she’s heard it many times from others too.

I’m raging, do people actually judge children based on their parents not separating whites when washing. Is that even a thing? I’ve never ever thought of it EVER.

“Thank you, Maskingforit. I did google and saw it was funding for 'disadvantaged children'; you cannot tell whether or not a child is disadvantaged by how their parent washes their clothes surely? I'd have thought those parents would be more likely to scrub away at whites to make them gleam.”

I can assure you that while there are lots of PP kids whose parents do care about keeping them clean and tidy there are also plenty of disadvantaged children whose parents can barely be bothered to feed them every day so will definitely not take the time to clean their clothes. My local primary is in a deprived area and has kids who will come to school wearing the same clothes, including pants and socks, all week. Some will get a filthy school jumper from their school dinner on Monday and the following Monday will still have it on having not even been washed over the weekend. In some cases this is due to costs of washing etc but in others it’s just because the parents don’t care enough to do it. I agree that some very posh people are extremely scruffy (and the kids always seem to wear odd socks!), but at the other end of the scale so are neglected children. So to me, greying clothes look awful. I’m a foster carer and I probably go a bit too far the other way, making sure the kids clothes are clean and ironed (though I have mostly given up on ironing now that my two are in secondary and old enough to put their own clothes away but tend to just leave them in a crumpled mess!) so that nobody could ever accuse me of ‘not looking after them properly!’ They had white polos at primary and sometimes I would look at them and think they were greying a bit, even though they were only ever washed with white things, then I would go to a school assembly and see other kids with truly greying shirts. And it does look horrid. A friend of mine put a happy birthday post to their child on FB and the baby was wearing a greying vest. I know this baby is loved and cared for and desperately wanted but in the photo he looked like a neglected waif.

all whites will grey over time regardless. In my opinion I would rather see a child with greying clothing than one is not allowed to play incase they dirty their clothes and are accused of being unkept.

My kids are "PP kids" and I find it offensive in the same way that "council kids" was when I was a child.

I work, fucking hard, but I am still classed as being on a low income so my lot are all entitled to have free school meals. That makes them "PP kids". I have ..... one who is disabled and living and working independently, one who has qualified in medicine, one who is at uni, one who is being courted by Oxbridge due to her G&T abilities, one who is able but frankly a fucking arsehole which I am hoping he grows out of and one still at primary who is doing well.

All of the shirts I am responsible for are white-ish.

I should add that the reason they are "PP kids" is because their father tried to strangle me and was removed from my home. If he was still here we would have more money and more abuse. Maybe I should have opted for that......

Totally missing the point, but I don't understand how people get their whites to not look white. I've never separated washing into anything other than lights and darks and my whites couldn't be whiter, no matter how many times they are washed.

Yes OP, your DM is unfortunately a judgemental snob.

it looks...grubby. lazy

@pigsDOfly

It's amazing what people apparently judge others on.

There was a thread on here years ago in which a post mentioned how her mother claimed 'you could tell a lot from the state of the skirting boards in someone's house'.

Clearly, I'm a fairly dusty sort of person.

I have to say, I completely agree about the skirting boards. It does say a lot about how clean someone is! Nothing to do with snobbery

I remember all the adverts growing up for 'whiter whites'.

I do separate whites but so often seem to find a black sock in the wash when it's finished!

i remember someone asking advice on how to get the soles' of children's white socks really white. the soles. of socks.
and i thought, but why ?
am i a slob, or a snob.

i couldn't possible use that triple section laundry basket; they have spelled colour incorrectly. supposing someone saw it.

Back in the day, women were definitely judged on their whites, I remember my SIL remarking about a neighbour: Her nappies are so grey. These were working class people in the kind of houses you see in "Life On Mars".

The old ads for Persil definitely reinforced this, though not aimed at the wc.:

The Persil boxes always showed the kid in the dull shirt looking dejected.

The old me would have said no, nobody cares about stuff like this unless it affects them personally. Then I started using MN... it opened my eyes. An astonishing number of people actually do seem to care about lots of stupid stuff like this, even when it doesn't affect them at all.

So I believe your mum when she says that other people gossip about the shade of white your child's undervest is.

Yanbu, but white white are much nicer looking , I only wouldn't use off white clothing because I don't like it for myself, not because I think its poor looking. Years ago where I grew up, Many 'poor' people will have the whitest nets, cleanest front doors and steps, the most beautiful outfits for church etc....and people judged each other on this, it's still not far off that now, except its designer clobber on the babies....
'All fur and no knickers'

My family didn't have much money growing up and I never notice things like this. It amazes me what some people who had a different background to me notice about others' homes/manners/accent/car/children etc. I honestly wouldn't care about the opinion of someone who judges someone else by how white their whites are.

I had no idea of the white clothes snobbish thing, but I grew up where shoes and tops are optional so we just go clean and tidy and just go with that.

If people want to judge on that up to them

As a child we lived in a naive area and had a young nanny from a very large family in a very small council house. We learned a lot from her, namely that (generalizations obvs) people from council estates are very clean, both in body and home. Our nanny was very judgemental towards us, she was horrified that we would eat breakfast in pyjamas as it was so unhygenic and used to try and fail to get us to have a full flannel wash in the morning. Her housework skills were impeccable too, I'm sure she was massively judging our skirting boards!

*naice area, might have been naive too

crimble I have always used Amodex on pen stains. The makers claim it gets out Sharpie which I assume is whiteboard marker? I've used it on felt tipped pen and biro. It is a bit pricy in the UK but v cheap in the USA, got the odd bargain on eBay. Here it is sold by specialist fountain pen shops for its ink cleaning properties. However I do think it's been reformulated recently so not sure it's as effective. Anyway, my point is, it is milk-based, so well worth trying some milk for spot cleaning ink?

I wonder if modern grey whites also come about because of lack of outside drying? Sunshine is a natural bleach. The 1960s mum would have her laundry planning revolving around "a good drying day".

So does this 2020s mum

Visited a Glaswegian relative in early 80s, small children with me, stayed a few days. Pegged out some washing in the communal yard. Scots auntie took one horrified look and took it all down. I'd pegged it up as I took items out of the washing basket. This was WRONG. It should have been pegged up in order, smallest item to largest. Everyone knows this.

Also meant to say, sunshine is good on cotton but polycotton not so much. Pure cotton and linen can be re whitened by putting them out in the sunshine while damp. People in historic times would lay their whites in the snow on a sunny day, too, to get stains out. Newly woven Irish linen would be bleached laid out in the fields (don't know if that is still done?)

Yes indeed gin and it's free!

I've never heard "pp kids" as an insult before. That's not snobbery - it's out and out revolting bigotry and discrimination.

How sad that she's judging children for something that's beyond their control. And I bet there are children in receipt of PP that she doesn't know about - adopted children for example.

I'd find it very difficult to spend time with someone who is so unpleasant and offensive.

Ha. The ONLY positive about cricket season is having enough whites to make up a white wash on a regular basis.
(Yes, I separate whites, 60 degree washing, darks and brights - it brings me contentment).

I don’t care about vests in the slightest but her comment about PP children is awful.

Attitudes like hers add to the social divide in this country.