To think DM is an insufferable snob?

[WWYD2020]

Recent visit to DM and she comment on DCs off white vest UNDER sleepsuit.

Apparently people will think we are ‘poor, rough and like those pp (pupil premium or something) kids at school’. It’s not just her apparently she’s heard it many times from others too.

I’m raging, do people actually judge children based on their parents not separating whites when washing. Is that even a thing? I’ve never ever thought of it EVER.

A) she’s an ass
B) I would have thought brand new, perfect clothes are more of a class marker than an off white vest. It seems to be more a MC thing to have children wearing clean but permanently stained clothes and hand-me-downs.

I feel like the mum is getting a lot more understanding than the use of 'pp' as an insult deserves... Is she an ex-teacher? I can't imagine many other people who don't have young children being familiar with the term, but if she did teach and used 'pupil premium' as a derogatory term then that's very sad indeed...

I'm a pretty terrible housekeeper, but I do have a bit of the thing about whites looking grey, so I do always separate them. That's not to say that my babies had sparkling white vests though, and I wouldn't judge anyone for their baby's vest being a bit dismal. I definitely wouldn't pass comment on it.

Having said that, from a teacher perspective, ex-white and now grey school shirts/polo shirts, were very much a marker for the poorer or more neglected kids. Again, I was never going to judge a parent for the colour of their kid's shirt, but other kids might.

@sapnupuas

My mum said the teachers will think my son is "council estate" if I write his name in his labels instead of getting sew-in ones...

Disgusting comment

I think your DM has a fair point and having high standards is not a bad thing. Many DGPs like to see their grandchildren brought up properly.

My DMIL has been known to ‘inspect’ relatives’ homes for cleanliness and report her findings to the woman of the home. She will also refuse to eat in any home or restaurant that does not use cloth napkins.

I'm clearly aristocracy given threads on here

Dust everywhere, dog hair, random gook.... dim lighting so you don't really notice

It’s not really snobbish but demonstrates deep insecurity if someone is worried about what others might think of a baby’s vest.

I like to wash lights and whites separately. I’m assuming your ‘off white’ is a euphemism for ‘somewhat grey’.

@CatsAndEyeliner

There was a thread on here years ago in which a post mentioned how her mother claimed 'you could tell a lot from the state of the skirting boards in someone's house'.

I mean.. you can though 😂

Quick, send her round here, I've just dragged the mop round them, some I've even gone round with a cocktail stick and a piece of kitchen roll to do the annoying gouge. Where do I collect my prize, halo and badge??

For anyone else with a DM/MIL with laundry snobbery, I suggest they tell them that

"...it's the natural colour, it's organic, unbleached cotton, I know it's expensive, but it's so much better for the environment and for babies' delicate skin".

Then sit back and watch her head explode.

As a teacher, I recommend you sharpie your child's name onto the collar of their school sweaters. Lots of parents will snip the labels off of sweaters their children have mistakenly bought home and add to their own collection.

I do separate my whites and add a nice scoop of vanish into the wash, however I did send my son into school the other day with a orange stain on his polo shirt because it was freezing and I assumed he would keep his sweater on all day. (He didn't) There is a massive difference between a clean shirt that's stained or a bit off white and a shirt that hasn't been washed for weeks.

Oh and children can be pp for many reasons - your mil is horrible.

My mother is OBSESSED with greying whites - and mine are not bad, I would notice, just not bright white but she'll say it at every opportunity. I only wash whites together but i think the tumble dryer greys things - tough, id rather a dull vest than wet washing everywhere.

@canonlydoblue

brought NOT bought
labels off sweaters NOT off of sweaters

I hope you don't teach English.

I always separate my whites. IMO greying whites just look grubby.

I wash whites with sheets.

@OnCandyStripeLegs

My mother had a whole list of things that were common like eating in the street, wearing patent shoes, red shoes (lots of shoe related ones) She also lost her previously very strong potteries accent, deliberately. There were all sorts of washing related rules as well but these days they have these things called colour catchers which solve most of those

My friend's mother was openly criticised by a neighbour for putting her daughter's black and red undergarments on the washing line, they were a distraction for her hsband apparently!

Laughing remembering the effort my (ft working) dm used to put into getting our whites super white!! She used to soak them, boil them, bloody all sorts. She thinks I am ‘slovenly’ because I don’t go to these lengths and would sooner get rid and buy new. I still take my expensive jumpers home to dm to wash so I don’t shrink them. She judges me for that too but obliges so all good.

@MaeveDidIt

Well I teach everything.

That's what comes from attempting to type at the end of a long week whilst wrestling a toddler.

Ah well.

Many DGPs like to see their grandchildren brought up properly

So washing whites seperately has what to do with being raised properly?

I don’t always wash my whites alone, because I can’t always be arsed.
But making statements about PP kids is disgusting and snobby behaviour.

One mashed banana and the vest is ruined, whatever colour it is though. Why put yourself through all the extra work of separating out the whites when the kids will very soon sort that out for you.

Has anyone else read 'Shades of Grey', which advances the theory that we should only buy grey clothes for our children because that is the colour they will eventually be?

Where I live discoloured clothes would be a sign of being middle class and sticking two fingers up to anyone that gave a shit!

Oh dear. I like my whites to be white. I feel the need to apologise. I hate seeing kids in greying polo shirts at school.

@passthemustard

Oh dear. I like my whites to be white. I feel the need to apologise. I hate seeing kids in greying polo shirts at school.

Me too. Mashed banana washes out well enough.

@Ecosse

I think your DM has a fair point and having high standards is not a bad thing. Many DGPs like to see their grandchildren brought up properly.

My DMIL has been known to ‘inspect’ relatives’ homes for cleanliness and report her findings to the woman of the home. She will also refuse to eat in any home or restaurant that does not use cloth napkins.

That would really freak me out. I live on my own so don’t have cloth napkins.

Clothes get miscoloured. It happens. Doesn’t make you a bad parent.

I still don't know what a 'pp' (pupil premium), child is; who knows, I might have had one or even been one!

I always wash whites separately but my DH and DS both wear white shirts every day as their uniform so it's not a big deal. I couldn't give a toss if anybody else does.I must admit though I thought everyone did .