To think DM is an insufferable snob?

[WWYD2020]

Recent visit to DM and she comment on DCs off white vest UNDER sleepsuit.

Apparently people will think we are ‘poor, rough and like those pp (pupil premium or something) kids at school’. It’s not just her apparently she’s heard it many times from others too.

I’m raging, do people actually judge children based on their parents not separating whites when washing. Is that even a thing? I’ve never ever thought of it EVER.

@jessstan1

Certain benefits, asylum seekers, children of armed services personnel, children in care, etc

Every week day, I meant. I might have been scared for life though when I was little my Mum accidently put a red sock in with my Dad's whites and everything turned pink. He wasn't really into pink.

Hanging ladies underwear outside was not appropriate. It had to be dried indoors so no one could see it. Both were lower middle class and felt whiteness proves how much you care. I separate carefully and agree that grubby greigey whites are embarrassing.

@jessstan1

I still don't know what a 'pp' (pupil premium), child is; who knows, I might have had one or even been one!

Essentially pupils who are in receipt of free school meals.

www.gov.uk/government/publications/pupil-premium/pupil-premium

Just as an aside , before I had children I had 5 colour types of washing- white, pales, brights (reds/oranges/yellows), blues and black/greys!!! Just because I didn't want to run shades, also I often divided into fabric types and wash temperatures . It was a veritable matrix design to do any washing!!!!!

After children I pretty much had only white and dark... and I thought grey was a lovely practical shade before it was even a thing.

I did buy grey clothing as a neutral shade for a newborn recently- you could tell your DM it's all the rage.

Thank you, Maskingforit. I did google and saw it was funding for 'disadvantaged children'; you cannot tell whether or not a child is disadvantaged by how their parent washes their clothes surely? I'd have thought those parents would be more likely to scrub away at whites to make them gleam.

I have a triple washing basket sorter. Whites, darks, coloureds. It would take me weeks to get a full whites load (learned a long time ago it's an impractical colour for children and adults!) so I will do a half wash as needed. But, I have a very good washing machine that adjusts water and electricity use accordingly. I can see why some on tight incomes with a less flash machine (me for many years!) might not have that available to them. I also can afford decent quality powder and not have to scrimp on it. I have looked after many children who have had greying whites and generally they were from families struggling in some way. Even if it's clean greying whites it's does set the child apart sadly. It only takes one unpleasant child to notice and point it out for bullying to occur. It is something completely beyond the child's control. I would not judge someone in that situation although it seems many would.
That said babies vests are a different ball game and need to deal with the dreaded orange food and the force of nature out their backsides! I saw it as a bit of a mission never to be beaten by a stain and orange and poo stains seem to miraculously disappear after a hang in the line for a day or two come rain or shine. Or even a sunny windowsill will do it.
The only stain I haven't been able to get out of clothing is whiteboard marker. Tried everything over the years and I'm beaten. Any MN top tips very welcome!

@copperoliver

Everyone should wash all whites, darks and brights separately. I would throw something away if it got stuck in another wash and was off white. I was in the park once and chatting to and older lady. I had two children with me she said only one is yours though. I said yes. How did you know she said your clothes are white and so is your daughters the other little girls clothes are not white. X

That is very wasteful though, at least use it for a duster etc or recycle

@Hardbackwriter yes, exactly that, teacher.

If I dared to throw in the odd baby vest into the normal load then suddenly my DC would be a ‘PP kid’, as if it’s something awful that should be avoided.

It’s hardly an indicator of my parenting abilities, at least I thought.

I put DD2 in off white/ faded vests because they're still perfectly functional. But I put her nice ones on her on nursery days.

Growing up on a council estate in the 70's i soon became aware of how unpopular my Mother was with the neighbours. She had the most ridiculous views on many things and was branded a stuck up so and so who thought she was better than others.
She chose one sylabol names for my brother and I because shortening names or nicknames were common.
No one in our household was allowed sugar in any drinks because it was common.
She never once called her children by anything other than their names. No darling, sweetheart, poppit no nothing. Just the one sylabolled name.
She used to boil wash our socks.
She was constantly washing her net curtains so things looked good from the outside. It was also to wash away the nicotine from my Father's 40 a day fag habit.
Any convenience foods were considered slovenly.
Leaving the house without ones hair done and makeup on was unthinkable. Women who didn't wear makeup were judged for being slovenly.
I don't remember her being remotely interested in being a friend to anyone in our street. They were all just too common!

As someone who scrupulously separates laundry according to colour crimblecrumbleofcourse your triple washing basket sorter fills me with envy. I saw one in John Lewis but it was ridiculously expensive!

I’m fussy over my whites
But used to write kids names on the labels already in clothes.
I’m a council estate snob then..obviously with ideas above my station.

I more or less do whites (plus yellow school polos), darks and sometimes brights when I have enough.

I have had errors in the past, DS has a couple of fetching baby pink t-shirts that got tangled up in DD's lurid pink duvet cover. They still get worn under jumpers.

One of the grobags had an encounter with something that stained it blotchy blue. It will either get passed on to a friend or binned once I've finished with it, but it's functional so is fine for now.

My mum thought eating anything more than a fruit flavoured polo in the street was common.

@passthemustard

Oh dear. I like my whites to be white. I feel the need to apologise. I hate seeing kids in greying polo shirts at school.

Polo shirts as school uniform?

Pass the smelling salts.

@RelaisBlu

As someone who scrupulously separates laundry according to colour crimblecrumbleofcourse your triple washing basket sorter fills me with envy. I saw one in John Lewis but it was ridiculously expensive!

The one I've have I bought years ago and it was less than £25. Saw this on Amazon which is a lot less than John Lewis. Each full section is approx a normal wash load Derails thread 😉

Personally I find it common to care about stuff like that

With little babies, it's handy to throw whites (the same colour as the milk) into a bucket of napisan and then put through a very hot wash to kill bacteria in the milk stains.

I would not want to put other clothes through this treatment so use white or mainly white baby gros and vests to build up enough for a wash easily.

By chance, this keeps whites white. But it's really to avoid bacteria building up in the clothes. I wonder if this is what she's really thinking of, or how people came to think this way.

I bought DD a t shirt she loved with a sequinned eiffel tower on it. Bright white. It ended up in a wash with my black work clothes but didnt go grey just....crap. So I dyed it black when I next did my jeans (£6 Dylon pack from Wilkos does three pairs of faded jeans, costs a lot less than replacing them!) and it actually looks better as the sequins stand out. I am a BIG fan of Dylon black dye, there is a reason why it can takes 3 weeks to get a full white wash and 2 days max for a black one!

For the kids, I used navy blue dye to cover disasters as navy blue suits every baby ever.

@MereDintofPandiculation

My mother was from a very poor family and keeping up standards was important to her. It's never worried me. I think it's easier to get what you want from officialdom if you seem to be well educated and comfortably-off. It's a lot easier to be relaxed about how you appear to others when you've never been on the wrong side of people's perceptions.

In fairness, officialdom would have to be very observant to discern a slightly greying vest under a baby’s sleep suit.

That said, my mother is from a dirt-poor background and would die a thousand deaths before being seen in public with muddy boots and trousers, even from something as healthy and socially-acceptable as a winter walk. She is the child of her dirt-poor mother who half-starved her children so that they would have good hats to go to church in on Sundays.

Polo shirts as school uniform?

Pass the smelling salts.

Loads of primary schools have polo shirts as part of the school uniform. They are very practical.

Doesn’t one have staff to worry about these sort of things?

Apart from one shirt which I keep for for weddings and funerals we have no white garments in the house. QED.