To think DM is an insufferable snob?

[WWYD2020]

Recent visit to DM and she comment on DCs off white vest UNDER sleepsuit.

Apparently people will think we are ‘poor, rough and like those pp (pupil premium or something) kids at school’. It’s not just her apparently she’s heard it many times from others too.

I’m raging, do people actually judge children based on their parents not separating whites when washing. Is that even a thing? I’ve never ever thought of it EVER.

I strip my baby down to her vest to eat, so all her vests are stained, but they’re only visible when she’s eating anyway. She’s my 4th baby so never even got to wear the vests new and unstained!

@OnCandyStripeLegs

My mother had a whole list of things that were common like eating in the street, wearing patent shoes, red shoes (lots of shoe related ones) She also lost her previously very strong potteries accent, deliberately. There were all sorts of washing related rules as well but these days they have these things called colour catchers which solve most of those

My mum was against red shoes (and black tights for that matter, tights should be flesh coloured to be proper). To this day I can't bring myself to buy red shoes. That one really stuck.

We do separate whites but my daughter's clothes are 90% hand me downs and she has plenty of off-white shirts and vests. We're not poor but we are frugal and mildly obsessed with reusing stuff before we buy new.

winter that is excellent!

My DH lived a few miles from me growing up, but somewhere "naice". He was bathed morning AND evening, until he eventually rebelled. Apparently his DM dressed him in all white clothing until he was 2 I should add that she was a terrible snob.

All that effort and he married someone from a council estate

I can understand not putting a school aged child in a discoloured t shirt because kids can be mean about any perceived difference, but a baby doesn't care if its vest got in the wrong washing pile. The clothes are clean and comfortable,vwhich is what matters.

In my experience, the scruffiest kids are the ones who come from the wealthiest homes. Same goes for writing names into clothes rather than sewing in labels. I sew in labels as I have more than one child, who will inherit uniform.

@WWYD2020

Recent visit to DM and she comment on DCs off white vest UNDER sleepsuit.

Apparently people will think we are ‘poor, rough and like those pp (pupil premium or something) kids at school’. It’s not just her apparently she’s heard it many times from others too.

I’m raging, do people actually judge children based on their parents not separating whites when washing. Is that even a thing? I’ve never ever thought of it EVER.

Oh no, not OFF WHITE. How DREADFUL.

(YANBU OP, that is very weird)

@ItStartedWithAKiss241

Why would you not separate your whites? Why buy clothes just to ruin them? X

This.

@HamishDent

In my experience, the scruffiest kids are the ones who come from the wealthiest homes. Same goes for writing names into clothes rather than sewing in labels. I sew in labels as I have more than one child, who will inherit uniform.

Loads of poshos are scruffy as fuck. Our PM, for instance. It's the middle classes who worry about everything being neat.

@PhilSwagielka

Exactly. They don’t give a shit. Why would they? They’ve got nothing to prove and it doesn’t even enter their heads that someone would have a negative opinion of them.

@WWYD2020

How does not separating whites = poor though?! Am I missing something.

Some people think it shows you are lazy and don’t care.

My mother was convinced eating frozen veg would instantly mean you were a drug addict living in a council estate. I was in my 30s before I dared to buy them!

The vest would need to be off white, threadbare and smelly for the school to be interested.

It’s very working class to be concerned about how your child’s school uniform looks. Just tell your mother that you are aiming for middle class. (Obviously don’t actually say that).

We don't have any white clothes. Neither DH, DC or myself manage to keep white stuff clean long enough...

I thought everyone separated whites and very light colours from other washing?!

I used to think my DM was a snob, but it's become more obvious to me that the things I get annoyed by have come about because she was so so poor growing up and was mercilessly bullied for it or shunned by other families that she's developed a complex about it. It's annoying but less so now I understand it's come from horrible experiences

Not sure why you wouldn’t look after your babies and your clothes well but separating whites etc

Wtf is a colour catcher? (Misses point of thread.)

It's a weird thing to be snobby about and see as a class marker, but not separating clothes is a bit odd. I would hate to have grey 'whites'. I wouldn't care less on a baby's underwear though, because it will get washed to pieces and ruined by poo or other accidents anyway.

My DM has a friend who comes out with all sorts of weird things that are apparently unacceptable. Not like the usual Non-U stuff but e.g. when all the families went on holiday together I was (as a child) once in their car for several hours freezing my arse off in summer clothes because having the windows open was poor and we had to have the air con on (my own parents' car didn't have air con, but even it it did I wouldn't have wanted it set to 13 degrees on a summer's day by the Med). When she and her husband come round (he's worse than her), my DM spends days fussing about everything beforehand: choosing which matching cups and saucers she will use and then no one's allowed to touch them until after The Visit; reserving the best set of matching towels to be out in the bathroom; power washing the patio ... because they think that's how you judge someone's Standards and class. Poor DM gets stressed out of her mind. And, in case you thought they wouldn't care, I once saw the husband arrive at our house and run his finger over the top of a picture frame to check whether it had been properly dusted. Personally I would have dropped the friendship years ago, but not my choice. I'm relieved we haven't been able to have them round since lockdown started though.

I wouldn't judge your child or your family,just the washing skills 😁

My babies' vests all had that orange stain around the neck. Why are so many foods red/orange?

@ladiessmock

Wtf is a colour catcher? (Misses point of thread.)

It's a sheet you put in to the washing machine which absorbs the dye running off clothes, meaning you can do more mixed loads. You buy them in packs of around 10 or 20 and they're a single sheet each. Look a bit like a tumble drier sheet.

I do separate my whites and darks and all undies, towels, bedding and bath mats go on a hot wash. I just followed what my mother did.

rorosemary Nothing is too good for my fellow MNetters!

Nobody's offered to run a finger along my skirting boards yet, so I may have to throw in a Lidl biscuit.

I've never separated whites and don't value the opinion of people who have the time to worry about other people's whites!

OK thanks. Don't know what a tumble drier sheet is either (can you tell that laundry isn't my thing ?). But doesn't sound terribly environmentally friendly?