To feel like there are fewer and fewer mums on Mumsnet?

[changerr]

Sooo many threads are full of people who either:

1. Have no children and don't want children
2. Are men

Or maybe it's just my imagination.....? (and before I get flamed, obviously everyone is welcome)

I agree, @AintOverUntilTheCatLadySings.

wHy aRe ThErE pEoPlE wItHoUt ChIlDrEn On MUMSNET 🤔🤔🤔

yawn

@LaBellina Most of the men post in the sex topic!

Yeah I've noticed more childless women on here. I think most come for AIBU and who can blame them?

My children are dead, lost to miscarriage. Am I welcome or not quite?

Why do people talk about “ childless women” but never “ childless men”?

You could be green with antennas, a man 😱 or not a mum for all I care.

As long as you are not a goady fucker.

Sounds like there's a massive gap in social media for people to pass opinion on

@BoomBoomsCousin

I see quite a few more posts from people saying they aren't mothers and a few more from people saying they are men than I did 5+ years ago, but I think there are still as many mums, just there have been more non-mums joining of late.

I don't think it's irrelevant how many posters are mums. At the moment the ratios don't threaten the female & family centric vibe of the forum so it's good to have other voices too. But I would care if did threaten to be just another general forum with the same heavily weighted bias away from the responsibilities that women with children have thrust upon them. I can get that sort of bias anywhere.

I agree with this @BoomBoomsCousin .

@PurplePansy05 of course you are!!! Sorry to hear of your losses

@MrsGrindah

Why do people talk about “ childless women” but never “ childless men”?

Good point! Let me also add that some women are 'childfree' rather than childless.

@Goingdooolally

Hadn’t noticed it but I think it would be a good thing. Wider perspective....

But do you always want a wider perspective? Sometimes lived experience is needed and sometimes a different view.

For example why have a wedding site with a load of people who like being single. Yes, bigger picture marriage may be a patriarchal nightmare. But that doesn’t help with where to source a cheap wedding cake or barn vs Manor House.

Not sure many sites for women with children actually see women as separate entities to their kids.This one does.

Barely see any men on here.

And to be honest if every thread was about DC I'd be long gone. Boring.

I much prefer reading the threads about non child related things. Makes no odds to me whether the poster has kids or not.

Realistically, childfree/childless women are unlikely ever to dominate Mumsnet simply because there aren't enough of us - only 19% of women in the UK have not had a child by the age of 45.

I don't understand why the op seems to have gotten so many people's backs up? .

Are a lot of people here for the ttc threads, and it's touched a nerve? Which would be totally understandable, and is the only thing I can think off that would produce such visceral reactions? Otherwise, it's just a question, based on an observation? Like when I wondered aloud in work earlier if their were more women about than usual (there were, having one last night out before the new lockdown restrictions kick in), it doesn't mean I was criticising the women who were there (it was actually good to see).

@MrsGrindah

Why do people talk about “ childless women” but never “ childless men”?

Because men don’t give birth?

Females are born child bearing bits. We suffer huge inconvenience by being reminded of this through periods every month. So growing another human is actually something we face head on until menopause.

Males ejaculate from being teenagers to old age, into socks, tissues and sheets.
They are a step removed from children.

*there

@LomasLongstrider

I don't understand why the op seems to have gotten so many people's backs up? .

Are a lot of people here for the ttc threads, and it's touched a nerve? Which would be totally understandable, and is the only thing I can think off that would produce such visceral reactions? Otherwise, it's just a question, based on an observation? Like when I wondered aloud in work earlier if their were more women about than usual (there were, having one last night out before the new lockdown restrictions kick in), it doesn't mean I was criticising the women who were there (it was actually good to see).

I think because this has been asked a lot before.

And as much as posters say 'im not saying they aren't welcome', it does come off as accusatory, 'what are you doing here if you're not a mother'.

And because it just doesn't take much thinking to understand why posters may be here even if they don't have children. As has been said, Mumsnet themselves openly say this is not just a forum for mothers, a lot of the boards are nothing to do with children, a lot comes up in Google etc... And there's also the very obvious reasons like fertility issues, miscarriage etc... And yes, it can be upsetting when you're already feeling hurt and (if you're anything like me when I had my miscarriages) like you've failed as a woman somehow to come and see people questioning why you're even here if your not part of the mum club. If when they pretend to question it innocently.

I think it’s ok for non mums to be here, but it’s really annoying when people air their anti-mother, or anti-child views, and I think they frequently do. You have the WHOLE rest of the Internet! Go awwwwwn! It hurts, and sometimes motherhood is quite lonely and hard, ya know.

Even when*

And people say you have the whole internet but I'm yet to come across another forum which is built up mainly by women and where you can discuss women's issues and receive such support in return (and there are lots of other things that affect women other than children).

@Leflic I suppose it depends on what the post is and what the person’s response is. Hard to generalise. I think sometimes we get so wrapped up in parenthood that it’s good to have a different perspective.

I’m currently child free, but can’t wait to be a mother, we’re just not quite ready to try yet. I feel comforted somewhat by being here and knowing it will be my turn, and in the mean time I’m getting some insight and protips that might help me in the future, I guess.

Also, what someone else said about a predominately female space to discuss the world and existence. I used to be in a large live journal community of women years ago and it is sorely missed since it tailed off into nothingness. I grew so much as a person and a women for frequenting that place.

*woman

I joined over 16 years ago

It started out feeling like a place where mothers could share thoughts and concerns. A place for shared experience and mutual support.

It’s now a more general chat board. The different perspectives can be interesting and helpful and generally add more to the conversation.

But, there are some non-parents who seem hostile to children and belittling to mothers. It makes it less of a friendly place, and the tone had changed. It’s hard to understand why they are attracted to a board aimed at mothers, except to antagonise them.