To feel like there are fewer and fewer mums on Mumsnet?

[changerr]

Sooo many threads are full of people who either:

1. Have no children and don't want children
2. Are men

Or maybe it's just my imagination.....? (and before I get flamed, obviously everyone is welcome)

I’m sure there are plenty of mums on the forums that are specifically to do with parenting or trying to conceive. Sone of the popular popular boards (AIBU, Relationships, Feminism...?) aren’t specific to parenting. It’s not that hard for those of us without kids to get past the site’s name and realise there’s a lot more going on than which nappies to buy or the virtues of breastfeeding.

Yes I agree with you OP, I’ve definitely noticed that.

Obviously this site isn’t solely for mums, far from it. I got a lot of support on here throughout TTC and pregnancy for example.

But there have been a lot of instances recently of posters who appear to be male or childfree ‘by choice’ people making deeply unhelpful comments, particularly on threads started by women who are struggling with parenting. There was a thread a few weeks ago started by a woman who was obviously had terrible postnatal depression. The comments she got were vile and genuinely dangerous - it ended with her saying she was going to log out and not come back, and I hope she’s ok. There was another one started by a mother of an violent autistic son where the childfree brigade hopped on to tell her to ‘do some parenting’.

And that’s my only problem with the changing demographic. If it makes the site less of a safe space for women, and in particular makes it a genuinely dangerous place for women who are struggling with mothering, then I think that is a problem.

Men?! Not mothers?! Oh no! This place might stop being an entitled mummyfest echo chamber!

Man or ‘childfree by choice’? Can’t decide...

What child free women and men on mum's net quick lock it down. AIBU straight into tier 3!

@Yeahnahmum

Its called MUMSnet....

Wow, is it? In all my three years on here I have never noticed that. I guess i'll get my coat then, being the non-parent that I am ...

@sabrinaq

I get totally fed up of childfree people posting on the threads where someone is having a meltdown over parenting and saying - I knew having kids would be a nightmare and that's why I don't have any! Unhelpful in the extreme.

Ditto!

In fairness @sabrinaq & @FTMF30 that’s part of a larger phenomenon where posters pop up on a thread where an OP is struggling just to recount their good fortune. You see it a lot on relationship and childcare threads.

I agree OP. You wouldn't notice if it weren't for the growing anti-motherhood sentiment. It's becoming quite agressive and rude.

There was a thread recently about DD hearing the OP have sex and how to deal with it. One poster kept making remarks along the lines of "this is why I choose not to have kids" over and over and OVER again 🙄. And that's a mild example.

Is that the poster who usually has something about sweets/cakes/chocolates in her latest name-change? Pops up constantly and exhaustingly on every thread about parenting being other than lovely to go "Urgh, it would be so HORRIBLE to have children! I'm so glad me and DH chose not to do that, it's so obvious it ruins people's lives, I would hate to have anything get in the way of our wonderful travels and luxury hobbies and fantastic sex life..."

Yanbu. It’s a shame. I feel uncomfortable when a man comes on a thread and says “well if you want a man’s opinion...” (I don’t actually. I get unsolicited male opinions every day, it’s not what I visit a site called mumsnet for and I don’t want to chat to male strangers on the internet at all.)

Basically mumsnet got nicked by all the non-mums, is very odd.

@GoldenOmber

Is that the poster who usually has something about sweets/cakes/chocolates in her latest name-change? Pops up constantly and exhaustingly on every thread about parenting being other than lovely to go "Urgh, it would be so HORRIBLE to have children! I'm so glad me and DH chose not to do that, it's so obvious it ruins people's lives, I would hate to have anything get in the way of our wonderful travels and luxury hobbies and fantastic sex life..."

Yes!

God, her. I can think of about two dozen time-consuming hobbies I’d have if I didn’t have children, and not one of them would be “compulsively reading parenting threads on Mumsnet to gasp at how awful it is.”

Don't know why you've had so many arsey replies, OP. You just asked a question.

I think it's great to be able to have a wide range of people who are willing to share their knowledge , all ages welcome here with or without children .

My Dbro uses MN a lot although I don’t think he posts much. He is actively involved with his children, who have varying needs, and says there is no equivalent website for men.

Is that the poster who usually has something about sweets/cakes/chocolates in her latest name-change? Pops up constantly and exhaustingly on every thread about parenting being other than lovely to go "Urgh, it would be so HORRIBLE to have children! I'm so glad me and DH chose not to do that, it's so obvious it ruins people's lives, I would hate to have anything get in the way of our wonderful travels and luxury hobbies and fantastic sex life..."

Yes! Although to be fair I try to feel some compassion for posters like that because there is no way that someone who was childfree by choice and happy about it would compulsively use a site called Mumsnet to tell struggling parents how wonderful it is to be childfree.

Man here. Found the place while researching IVF, stuck around during three cycles, still here.

I too have noticed this and lots of comments from people who clearly have no experience and their expectations of children is totally silly!

Have no problem with any parent commenting man or woman

I get the impression that there are a lot of people with older children. So all the talk about nursery and school uniforms is something they have left behind.

I don't have children 🤷‍♀️ I want them someday but hasn't happened yet. Didn't realise I needed kids to comment on parking threads or offer relationship advice.

the childfree brigade

You know we’re not a homogenous group, right?

I’ll put my hand up, I’m a child free-by choice woman. I googled something one day, when I really should have been doing some work and fell down a MN rabbit hole. I’ve been here ever since because good forums where there can be a free, robust (and no, I don’t mean that as a euphemism for “be as rude as you like”) discussion combined with the sort of humour that makes me laugh until I can’t breathe. There’s plenty here that isn’t parenting-related and I wouldn’t dream of giving an opinion on parenting stuff unless I had some sort of specific and relevant experience and I’d certainly never say “This is why I wouldn’t want to spoil my lovely childfree life” in response to a problem unless it was clearly a jokey thread.

*good forums are few and far between

I couldn't have children. Shoot me.

@Yeahnahmum

Its called MUMSnet....

Stop discussing non mum thing and we will stop coming😁

However, O agree with @sabrinaq point.