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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Another CF neighbour parking one...

316 replies

Lillipops · 14/10/2020 08:43

Hello fellow Mumsnetters I have for you a CF neighbor parking issue I have included a diagram so I hope it makes sense. We live in a semi detached house which has a driveway. At the end of the driveway a footpath cuts across and then there is another drive which goes down to the road. It is long enough to fit at least 4 cars because the house is set back from the road. Relatively modern development but ours and next door are the only ones in the street with such driveway. Our boundary runs from the edge of our garage down to the main road as shown in our deeds, there is a line where the concrete has been laid on the 2nd bit of the drive but other than that there is no visible division if you see what I mean. We park our car on the drive just in line with our house. A new couple have moved in next door with 3 cars. Instead of moving one of their cars off the drive to move them around they have taken to just driving across our drive to get around it. AIBU that this is so cheeky? It's really winding me and especially my partner up. This is NOT a shared drive and they are driving across our land because they are so lazy rather than just move their cars. I wouldn't mind if they had asked or queried it but they just seem to do what they like. I've attached a picture so you can see.....hit me mumsnetters

Another CF neighbour parking one...
OP posts:
Thread gallery
8
SoupDragon · 14/10/2020 16:52

What happens if you need a favour from your neighbours in the future and ask for something

Well, they'll be one up on the neighbours given they actually asked.

VinylDetective · 14/10/2020 16:52

Jesus, some people just don’t know how to be petty enough. I’m with you all the way @GoatCheeseTart.

AllsortsofAwkward · 14/10/2020 16:55

I'm NE and chinned means to punch someone not to moan at. I've never heard that in the context. However they are cf.

WhereYouLeftIt · 14/10/2020 16:57

@Lillipops

Just trying to avoid confrontation to be honest, will see how it goes hopefully they will get the message
TBH I've generally found that keeping quiet 'to avoid confrontation' is the single thing most likely to lead to confrontation. You think you're being nice and polite, they think you have no problem with what they're doing - or worse, consider you keeping quiet as a green light to pushing you around further.

Really, just do it. 'Hi, I've noticed you've been driving over my drive lately. Please don't - it's not a shared drive, never has been and never will be. I'd rather not have to go to the trouble of putting a fence up, but if I have to I will. Thanks!'

IamHyouweegobshite · 14/10/2020 17:09

I'm in South East, and to chin someone means to punch them. Shock

PumpkinetChocolat · 14/10/2020 17:18

Are you the same poster who made someone's little DC cry, because she took a hosepipe and washed off their chalk drawings from sidewalk?

How is that relevant? The sidewalk belongs to the council (or something similar), we are talking about private properties.

If little DC was crying because someone washed up their own drive, it's parents who are to blame, not the owner...

GoatCheeseTart · 14/10/2020 17:24

Well, they'll be one up on the neighbours given they actually asked.

Fair enough, let me re-phrase. If your neighbours can choose to do you a favour - we would take in each other's deliveries, bring bins back, throw balls back over the fence, that kind of thing - they might also re-consider if there's a barbed wire erected specifically to inconvenience them.

emilyfrost · 14/10/2020 17:25

We have encountered nightmare neighbors once before which resulted in us selling up quickly, moving into rented and saving like crazy to buy our forever home which is where we are now. I just don't want to fall out with them but they are making it very difficult!

These aren’t nightmare neighbours, and they aren’t making anything difficult, you are.

If this is your forever home you’re going the wrong way about keeping it a nice place to live. All you’re doing is pissing off your neighbours for no good reason and you will come to regret it.

BasiliskStare · 14/10/2020 17:36

@WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll Grin and @raddledoldmisanthropist

Grin

Some of these things are a balance IMHO - I would prefer to have neighbours I get on with - which doesn't mean you have to let them walk ( or drive ) all over you - I would say you are going to delineate the drive but do it nicely - falling out seriously with neighbours I think rarely works out well

SomeoneTellBorisHeHasDandruff · 14/10/2020 17:46

@emilyfrost

We have encountered nightmare neighbors once before which resulted in us selling up quickly, moving into rented and saving like crazy to buy our forever home which is where we are now. I just don't want to fall out with them but they are making it very difficult!

These aren’t nightmare neighbours, and they aren’t making anything difficult, you are.

If this is your forever home you’re going the wrong way about keeping it a nice place to live. All you’re doing is pissing off your neighbours for no good reason and you will come to regret it.

Yeah OP, YOU are the one who is making things difficult for the neighbours, don’t you realise that. You should have a welcome sign on your drive. Plus whilst you are at it leave your front door unlocked so the NDN’s can use your house as and when they please because they now feel comfortable and entitled to use your outside property at their convenience, why stop there? It’s the neighbourly thing to do. You certainly don’t want to upset the poor little loves. Confused
emilyfrost · 14/10/2020 17:49

All they’re doing is driving over a drive. There is no issue here.

CorianderLord · 14/10/2020 17:50

Nah I wouldn't care about that tbh

HeavyHeidi · 14/10/2020 17:58

You are not going far enough. Obviously my property is surrounded by a 6ft wall, but I also have a glass roof over it, so the CF neighbours would not accidentally breathe my air! If they got a whiff of my cooking smells, I would send them an invoice for the food molecules consumed.

VinylDetective · 14/10/2020 18:00

@emilyfrost

All they’re doing is driving over a drive. There is no issue here.
Exactly this. It’s kind of blowing my mind that anyone would take exception to it. I’m really scared of the idea of moving now in case I find myself living next to people like this.
Original poster
Lillipops · 14/10/2020 18:01

@SomeoneTellBorisHeHasDandruff GrinI'll give them a wave and take out a cup of tea and a Kit Kat to welcome them home pmsl! I do see it as an issue though because they've just presumed it's ok to drive over our drive, they do it even more when the car isn't there....doesn't mean there's no one home we are both working from home so pretty much always one of us here. We had a natter when they first moved in why didn't they just ask or mention it?

OP posts:
Slave2love · 14/10/2020 18:05

This would piss me off too, I dont care how petty it is. If they dont want to move cars around then perhaps they should pave the grass in front of their own house and then they can pull the same manoeuvre but at least they would be driving on to their own property. (Or park two of their cars side by side.)

Bargebill19 · 14/10/2020 18:10

CF!! When you have the drive redone reinstate the fence too. Chain link fence in the bottom but too.
They aren’t the sort of neighbours to help you out- they are the sort to just take take take like with their builders.

Howlooseisyourgoose · 14/10/2020 18:17

@thegcatsmother

My NDN is a musician who gives lessons. Before we moved back, she had taken to parking on my drive, and allowing the parents of her pupils to park there too. She only has right of access across my drive, she has no right to park on it, ever.

When I asked politely, why she parked on my drive, when she knew she shouldn't, the answer was 'Because I can'. We asked the parents of the pupils not to park there, as there is perfectly good and free parking at the village hall, and got met with all sorts of crap.

If you give an inch, people take a mile; and there may be implications about acquired 'rights' when you come to sell

Hope they stopped parking there gcat?
SomeoneTellBorisHeHasDandruff · 14/10/2020 18:18

@Lillipops - Good idea but can I suggest you have a tray so you can provide the full array of milk/milk alternatives, sugar, sweetener, etc as they may have very specific tea requirements. That’s before you even think about what coffee they might like Grin

I agree it is an issue and at my house we have a similar NDN CF drive problem which I described up thread. It is ‘small’ in the scheme of things yes, but in your case their behaviour is gradually becoming more and more entitled. Builders using your drive and chucking concrete around, it’s really not on. They are CF’s and I think you need to create a border ASAP to show you can’t be walked/driven all over. It doesn’t mean you can’t continue to be civil to them and it really shouldn’t cause them to react because what they have been doing is wrong anyway. As you say many of the drives used to have a fence along them before.
Good luck OP.

HeavyHeidi · 14/10/2020 18:59

If my neighbour was so petty that they would block their own drive just my life would be more inconvenient, I would also make sure I swap all 3 cars around 5AM whether I need it or not. Oh dear, woke you up, did it? Well see, there is no other way out and I thought I needed to use car 3 but I really needed car 2 as I discovered at 5.30 when I swapped them all back again..

Give it a few months of escalation and you can call Channel 5 over for a new episode of nightmare Neighbours

Original poster
Lillipops · 14/10/2020 19:16

@HeavyHeidi oooft! Harsh much?!

OP posts:
Bargebill19 · 14/10/2020 19:22

Looks like someone thinks they are entitled to uses other peoples property.
@HeavyHeidi if you did that to me - you would find no one was going anywhere with a hgv and trailer parked across the drive and a driver with no hours on the clock to shift it.
The police would be in the hgv drivers side. After all you wouldn’t want a very tired lorry driver to accidentally drive into a car no would you?!

VinylDetective · 14/10/2020 19:26

@Bargebill19

Looks like someone thinks they are entitled to uses other peoples property. *@HeavyHeidi* if you did that to me - you would find no one was going anywhere with a hgv and trailer parked across the drive and a driver with no hours on the clock to shift it. The police would be in the hgv drivers side. After all you wouldn’t want a very tired lorry driver to accidentally drive into a car no would you?!
It must be lovely to have such a rich fantasy life. Meanwhile back in th real world ...
Bargebill19 · 14/10/2020 19:38

Done it before and would do it again. Ina heartbeat. No fantasy life. Just won’t be walked over.

HeavyHeidi · 14/10/2020 19:39

@HeavyHeidi if you did that to me - you would find no one was going anywhere with a hgv and trailer parked across the drive and a driver with no hours on the clock to shift it

Yes exactly my point. A few more tit-for-tats and you can invite both Daily Mail and Sun for a nice sad face story as well.

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