Another CF neighbour parking one...

[Lillipops]

Hello fellow Mumsnetters I have for you a CF neighbor parking issue I have included a diagram so I hope it makes sense. We live in a semi detached house which has a driveway. At the end of the driveway a footpath cuts across and then there is another drive which goes down to the road. It is long enough to fit at least 4 cars because the house is set back from the road. Relatively modern development but ours and next door are the only ones in the street with such driveway. Our boundary runs from the edge of our garage down to the main road as shown in our deeds, there is a line where the concrete has been laid on the 2nd bit of the drive but other than that there is no visible division if you see what I mean. We park our car on the drive just in line with our house. A new couple have moved in next door with 3 cars. Instead of moving one of their cars off the drive to move them around they have taken to just driving across our drive to get around it. AIBU that this is so cheeky? It's really winding me and especially my partner up. This is NOT a shared drive and they are driving across our land because they are so lazy rather than just move their cars. I wouldn't mind if they had asked or queried it but they just seem to do what they like. I've attached a picture so you can see.....hit me mumsnetters

I have this exact scenario in my new build aside from the fact that the area below the top spaces next to the houses is a shared drive. Luckily I get on with the neighbours and we do both use the area to swing in front of other cars if we need to. To begin with we did the whole "lining up in our drives and moving cars when needed" but tbh it got boring and frustrating when it came to winter plus we've been here 4.5 years now.

That said, I'm not a fan and I'm looking to move next year. Shared driveways will be off the radar completely. I want something I can put gates/bollards/penguins across to keep the neighbours and various delivery driver out :)

I'm in Glasgow and use "chinned" to mean pulling someone up about something.

I'm usually the first to hoik my bosom about CF neighbours but I don't think the driving over my land thing would bother me if that was the only issue. However, they seem to be getting a bit too comfy and the builders using your stuff/leaving a mess speaks to a wider problem. Definitely speak to them.

P.S. Top notch diagram. Very neat.

OP should be engaged to provide diagrams for all parking threads from now on.

You should both get lives.

Maybe I read it wrongly, but that dictionary definition suggested having a good old natter with somebody for 'chinned' rather than confronting them and giving them a piece of your mind.

They're entirely at liberty to do so, but I don't really get why a house with only two adults living there would have three cars in the first place. A works van, maybe, or a caravan/motorhome or 'doer-upper' project (although any of those would surely be at the back and only needed infrequently). Vehicles cost a lot to buy and maintain, so it seems strange to me to keep a 'spare' one rather than just buying the two kinds of car that suit your joint needs best overall.

@PumpkinetChocolat

Sorry, but who cares if some posters would be fine with it? It doesn't make it right. When it's YOUR property, you make the arrangements you want on it. When it's somebody else's property, at the very least you ask - but really you respect it and don't use it.

It's as cheeky as neighbours using your drive because they haven't got one and your are "not using yours" (as seen on MN
😂)

What's next? using your neighbours garden because they are elderly, don't use it and your kids need more space?

Neighbours bought a house with a certain drive, if its not convenient enough for them, they can move or find alternate arrangements. They don't take over and start using the neighbours property to increase the size or access of theirs. The entitlement of some CF is astonishing.

YANBU OP. Sadly with people like that, there's no boundary unless you create a physical one.

Exactly! It's up to them to sort out the car shuffling. Lots of people have to do that without deciding it's fine for them to use someone else's property.

And your property being used by the builders would annoy me a lot also. Nip that kind of behaviour in the bud.

Dont think you need to speak to them first. They should have asked you for permission first. Park your car in such a way to make this impossible for them.

@raddledoldmisanthropist

I'd rather help my neighbours out than be hostile.

I've reported this comment for deletion as not in the spirit of the site.

So you wouldn't actually have minded if they talked to you first?

But you won't talk to them either to resolve it?

So I can just help myself to something (item/use of property) belonging to somebody else - and if they have a problem with that, it's up to them to approach me to try to find a resolution?

Maybe I read it wrongly, but that dictionary definition suggested having a good old natter with somebody for 'chinned' rather than confronting them and giving them a piece of your mind.
The link was to a US dictionary site -a lot of things have very different meanings in US English.

This would not bother me. But it would bother my DH. He gets wound up if someone uses “our” dropped curb to do a 3 point turn. I also think that WFH gives us more time to observe and get wound up about these things.

@RozHuntleysStump

It's annoying but the layout of the properties is terrible. I'd rather they just nipped over the end of the drive than shuffled cars. If you bring it up with them, you'll look like a petty twat.

Or just get the chain fence thing. But it will still = twattery and you never know when you might want some goodwill back from them.

Nope, the ones who look like petty twats are the neighbours.

They are the ones who are burning bridges and losing any possible goodwill.

Since when do people have to tip toe around CF to avoid looking bad?

My NDN is a musician who gives lessons. Before we moved back, she had taken to parking on my drive, and allowing the parents of her pupils to park there too. She only has right of access across my drive, she has no right to park on it, ever.

When I asked politely, why she parked on my drive, when she knew she shouldn't, the answer was 'Because I can'. We asked the parents of the pupils not to park there, as there is perfectly good and free parking at the village hall, and got met with all sorts of crap.

If you give an inch, people take a mile; and there may be implications about acquired 'rights' when you come to sell

I agree that must be really annoying, I would just start parking on the other side at an angle so they can’t drive around & then if they ask you why have you started parking like that - say because we’ve noticed trespassing on our property...Then you can get into that conversation if you want to.
Plus do you have wheelie bins? If so put them on that side for now in addition to parking at an angle.
I would also buy plant pots, large stones or a decorative feature/sculpture to permanently block it for when your car isn’t on the drive.
A long term solution would be gates that you can lock open and closed so they really can’t ever get through.

Yes, you do have to report disputes with neighbours if you sell

but

if you merely put plant pots or a fence to secure your own property, there's no dispute so nothing to report.

@amusedbush

I'm in Glasgow and use "chinned" to mean pulling someone up about something.

I'm usually the first to hoik my bosom about CF neighbours but I don't think the driving over my land thing would bother me if that was the only issue. However, they seem to be getting a bit too comfy and the builders using your stuff/leaving a mess speaks to a wider problem. Definitely speak to them.

P.S. Top notch diagram. Very neat.

I'm in Glasgow too and also frequently use "chinned" in that way. I've never heard it used in the context of punching someone

It would appear to be like "twat" which has different meanings around the UK: a mild word for "idiot" in some places (like Glasgow) and the worst of worst descriptors in other places (something I only learnt via MN).

Is it so difficult for people to contemplate the possibility that words can have regionalised meanings? misses point of thread entirely

As someone with an equally quirky parking set up I know it would annoy me, however over the last 5 years I've learned to let these sort of scenarios go. We have a good relationship with our neighbours (with kids of similar age).

I think you need to step back and look and the situation a little more objectively, and answer a few questions... Is your relationship with neighbours good other than this? Realistically, is it going to devalue/cause any additional cost to you? Depending on the answers, try to stop being territorial.

Just talk to them!

The damage to your drive when they 'allowed' builders to use it suggests that it's not accidental/ an oversight- they are using your drive as their own. And they won't stop if you talk to them.

I would be very wary of the 'let it go' attitude espoused on here, as you don't want any kind of shared drive precedent to become established.

As suggested, physical boundaries are the only thing that will stop them- park your car lower down, or install fencing/ heavy pots.

This is such a small issue. Chill out. I would probably approach them along the lines of "no problem at all with you using our drive from time to time to get out, presume you won't have a problem with us doing the same if we ever need to (it's actually a good idea to give a limited permission that you can take away rather than them just doing it and achieving a right to do it), but please can you sort out the staining?

The link was to a US dictionary site -a lot of things have very different meanings in US English.

I know that - I was agreeing with you when you said that previously; and I was saying that, even using that definition, as supplied for a PP to show that chinning didn't just mean punching, I still didn't see how it 'proved' that understanding!

I do get it now that it means different things in different regions/countries, but the given 'evidence' didn't seem to confirm that regardless!

It can be confusing when the same word/phrase has quite different understanding in two areas. Where I grew up, the slang phrase 'having a wazz' meant going for a wee, but I later learned that, in other places, it means relieving yourself by using the same general region of the body, but in a way that is generally not as freely admitted as 'spending a penny'

I can’t say ur neighbours abu. I don’t think I’d even consider asking permission to drive across your ‘outside’ drive. I think u must be bored OP

Glad you've parked your car there, especially as they let their builders be free and loose on your driveway.

Would love to see a new diagram / pic with location if your car now.

@Astella22

I can’t say ur neighbours abu. I don’t think I’d even consider asking permission to drive across your ‘outside’ drive. I think u must be bored OP

Ever heard of basic manners and respecting other people properties? REALLY?

Howlooseisyourgoose....pic to follow