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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think this woman was a bit over the top on the road today?

100 replies

SweetCherryPie · 12/10/2007 16:17

On my way home i miss judges this womans speed and pulled out of a side road. She beeped me and i put my hand up to say sorry, my fault.

She then came right up to my bumper in a temper and i put my brake lights on to say "back off" and she backed off a little bit.

Then she decided to try and over take me but bottled it because other cars were coming towards her the other way. I know it's annoying when someone pulls out infront of you and i didn't do it on purpose. I think she over reacted especially as i had my baby in the car and a sticker saying 'baby on board.'

OP posts:

DrNortherner · 12/10/2007 16:20

Some folk are like a red rag to a bull whilst driving. I hate it.#

Don't worry about it.

handlemecarefully · 12/10/2007 16:21

That was really mad of her - especially since you had the good grace to put your hand up to apologise

nutter!

Freckle · 12/10/2007 16:35

Sometimes I think they do it because they have been frightened. I know that people make mistakes (as I do occasionally myself), but when you suddenly have someone pull out in front of you causing you to slam your brakes on, it can be quite frightening.

When we are frightened, we don't always act in a rational manner.

claricebeansmum · 12/10/2007 16:36

I really want a special light which would flash "I am really sorry I just did that"

RGPargy · 12/10/2007 16:37

That's quite true actually Freckle. When i got knocked off my motorbike, it was a very scary experience. When i picked myself up from the floor, i went over to the driver of the car (she pulled out in front of me whilst looking in the opposite direction) and completely lost my temper with her. I was shouting my mouth off at her and swearing, etc. I was soooo angry at her stupidity!

2HappyFrighteningPeople · 12/10/2007 16:38

clarice - I've always (or at least since the age of 17!) wanted one of those!

Though I think the baby on board sign is pretty irrelevant - so many people have them, and no-one seems to take them down if the baby's not in the car; and you having a baby on board sticker doesn't make the other driver any less of an over-reacting pillock.

Original poster

SweetCherryPie · 12/10/2007 16:39

I understand the frightening thing but she then frightened me by acting dangerous on the road when she could see i had a baby in the car.

OP posts:

Original poster

SweetCherryPie · 12/10/2007 16:41

I got my baby on board sign because someone told me they do help. They don't. People still tailgate and act stupid on the road even with the sign.

OP posts:

2HappyFrighteningPeople · 12/10/2007 16:45

I heard that originally the stickers were developed so that, if you had a crash, emergency services would know there was a child in the car. I don't know how true that is, but I think so many people have the stickers, or other ones like "mad puddlemere united fan on board" that no-one pays attention to them any more.

WinkyWinkola · 12/10/2007 16:45

I had something similar - I was supposed to give way to uncoming traffic on a narrow road. I misjudged the distance of the oncoming car (I have new glasses now!) and I swear she speeded up when she saw me come through the narrow road. We got stuck! I rolled down my window to apologise and she ranted and raved like I'd killed her kid or something. I couldn't believe what a cow she was. I was upset for days. Nasty pieces of work on the road.

thetryingistrying · 12/10/2007 16:46

she did behave badly but from her point of view you could have killed her, yourself and your baby.

wheresthehamster · 12/10/2007 16:50

Baby on board signs are for the emergency services if you are in an accident and it might not be obvious that a baby is in the car. As someone said though they are irrelevant if you don't take the sign out when you haven't got a baby with you. Why should having a baby in the car make someone back off? They shouldn't be that close anyway regardless of who is in the car.

Agree it was a dangerous response by the woman - we need CB radio so we can apologise to each other before things escalate!

Original poster

SweetCherryPie · 12/10/2007 16:55

I was going like 5mph, she was going like 40mph from what i gathered after. If she had hit me regardless of whether it was my fault for pulling out or not, the impact would have been far less had she not have been speeding in the first place!

OP posts:

Blu · 12/10/2007 16:56

I though the Emergency Services function of those stickers was an urban myth?

AFAICS the only thing they do is obscure your rear view. Lives are prescious - without them does anyoe think 'oh, adults only, no sweat, I'll total them'

They are sentimental-mummy paraphanallia, imo.

Sorry you had a bad experience, though.

2HappyFrighteningPeople · 12/10/2007 16:56

She was probably one of those really birritating people who go at 40mph on the open road.......

....and stay at the same speed when they hit a 30mph limit area. My complete pet hate on the roads.

Original poster

SweetCherryPie · 12/10/2007 17:00

I put mine in so the twonks who tailgate etc would know i was driving at 30mph because i have a baby in the car. Some drivers really don't like you driving at 30mph and feel you should drive the speed they intimidate you to do! I know in an ideal world you would think someone was driving at 30 because well, that is the speed limit. But unfortunatly people don't think like that so i have to put a sign up to explain why i am driving sensibly!

OP posts:

ArmadilloDaMan · 12/10/2007 17:02

She was probably shaken up by having to slam her brakes on and wanted to make a point. So many people pull out deliberately/repeatedly and don't give a shit. How was she supposed to know you weren't one of those?

You nearly caused an accident, not her. Give her some slack. YOu were in teh wrong, take that like an adult and stop blaming the other driver.

Yeah it probably scared you, but you probably scared the life out of her.

southeastastra · 12/10/2007 17:02

thinking that baby on board stickers are for the emergency services really is patrionising to them. as if

SaintJude · 12/10/2007 17:04

Ah, well, you see, when I am driving and someone pulls out in front of me having misjudged how much time/space they have, I dont slam the brakes on hard in order to keep a set distance from the twunt who's made a mistake.

That, to me, is dangerous.

I'll break gently, which might mean I end up quite close, but eventually the person in front will learn how to stick their foot on the accelerator, and will start driving at an appropriate enough speed.

ArmadilloDaMan · 12/10/2007 17:07

sometimes you have to otherwise you'll hit them.

Surely that's obvious.

Driving very close to the car in front is extremely dangerous in case they have to break suddenly. It decreases the amount of room you have to stop.

Making someone nervous, by driving on their bumper also increases the likelihood of them having an accident.

raspberryberet · 12/10/2007 17:08

"she then frightened me by acting dangerous on the road when she could see i had a baby in the car"

You were the one driving dangerously in the first place. Yes, she over-reacted - but if having a baby in your car didn't make you drive well, why would it make her?

You made a mistake which could have caused an accident, she was irritated by it. Be big enough to accept at least part of the responsibility, and let it go.

Original poster

SweetCherryPie · 12/10/2007 17:10

Yes i was in the wrong but i did gesture sorry to her. Her reaction was over the top, dangerous and dam right petty. She didn't have to slam her brakes on, she wasn't that close but she did have to brake. She could have just stuck her fingers up and let it be rather than making the situation 10 times worse!

OP posts:

ArmadilloDaMan · 12/10/2007 17:12

PEople don't always react in the way they should when they have been shocked/scared.

Grow up and accept responsibilty for what you did.

The situation, whether accidental or not, was entirely of your own making.

Original poster

SweetCherryPie · 12/10/2007 17:12

I said in my op i was in the wrong and it was my fault. How is that not taking responsibilty?

OP posts:

handlemecarefully · 12/10/2007 17:13

Actually I am amazed at your pov Raspberryberret - the OP made a silly but genuine mistake, how on earth can you condone the woman who overreacted in response (scared or otherwise) by wilfully and deliberately tailgating her and driving dangerously and aggressively ?[scratches head in complete incomprehension]

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