Fuck off fuck off fuck off

[leopardslikezebras]

Care to join me in a sweaty rant...

Fuck off whatsapp groups. I simply cannot keep up and if I don't reply to you within an hour IM FUCKING BUSY. This ??? Will not make me reply any fucking sooner.

Fuck off phone in general. I honestly want to throw you in the bin.

Fuck off two weeks in advance specific minuscule time slot tip run booking. What. The. Fuck.

Fuck off thinking I'm your present PA for Christmas. I've told you what they like, if you can't be arsed to get it, don't fucking bother. I couldn't give a shit, they are too young to know and have a shit ton of crap to trip over on a daily basis.

Fuck off hormonal acne and google telling me it's likely due to eating chocolate and drinking.

Fuck off multiple relatives that live within a 5 minute drive and constantly message me constantly with "we'd love to see you soon". The last meeting was 7 days ago!!!!!! And I'm overwhelmed.

Fuck off, fuck off. Fuck. Off.

@Phoenix76 have you got space in your trunk for me..... if not I'll ask Scotty to beam me up, anywhere off world will do.

[quote nousernameisavailable]@Phoenix76 have you got space in your trunk for me..... if not I'll ask Scotty to beam me up, anywhere off world will do.[/quote]
My trunk space is your trunk space, you’re probably right everything is so shit and can fuck off while we all find our own MN fun 😉 just please, let me have the elf 😬

Oh I like this.

Fuck off stupid ear infection.

Fuck off going back to work after being off for a week and getting moaned at because you can't find nothing.

Fuck off to the 1 other member of staff who can do no wrong and the sunshines out your arse but yet takes a month off work then demands a pay rise and a week's holiday whilst I work all your shifts plus my own and have 4 kids 2 look after because there is no one else to over but get no thanks for it.

Fuck off high blood pressure and bad migraines and bloody carpul tunnel.

Fuck off having 4 kids at home on half term holidays for 2 weeks moaning screaming and fighting as if 5 months wasn't long enough being off school.

And last of all fuck off debt trying so hard to get out of it but stuff always gets in the fucking way...

Oh OP, most of yours are mine too.

FUCK OFF SIL, and by extension, DH, when he starts to muse, AGAIN, that he feels bad because we haven't seen SIL and her DC for ages (2 weeks). FUCK OFF because, they don't bloody ever invite us to their house, but wait for invites to ours or, occasionally, invite themselves to our house while simultaneously saying/texting passive aggressive comments like, "Oh, I just want the kids to all grow up close to each other like we did with our cousins (who are all completely fuckers themselves and are NOT close to any more)"]

I honestly just screamed FUUUUUUUUUUCCCCKKKK in my head because DH KNOWS this about SIl and BIL but somehow he forgets and gets sucked in again and again and again because they guilt trip him. Even without bloody speaking to him.

FUCK YOU to the extended In Laws who will start hounding me any minute now re presents for the DC for Christmas (not DH, obviously). And FUCK YOU to me buying the gifts and you giving me the goddam money. Just go and buy them yourself (and no, insisting that SIL buy them and you'll give HER the money is not really a better solution. Especially as after she's asked me 100 times what they want... she will buy them something else anyway).

And FUCK OFF Ocado and Saimsburys and everyone else for insisting I prebook my shopping at least a week ahead of time. FFS. Why can't I book it a few days a head. Instead of pre booking a slot then having to redo the entire bloody order the day before AND now having to stay in at a time that's no longer convenient to me!? Covid is not an excuse to make life easier for you and harder for your customers.

And FUCK Off the 60000 emails I've had from school in the last 3 weeks about everything from piano lessons to google classrooms (the 4 page instructions that nonetheless do not in fact work are not helping my mental health).

@Phoenix76 yeah thank you; you go for it with the elf, I'll just pop along for the ride, make myself scare and find a rock, a nice quiet rock to sit on, maybe by a pool of mysterious water, peace and quiet. Ah

Fuck off work. I am too fucking old to be working with teenagers who have less sense than my pre teen DC and I'm definitely too fucking old to be paid £4ph for the fucking privilege.
Oh and PHE can fuck off aswell.

Thank you for that, feeling much better now.

I love this thread!

Fuck right off spongeing exDP who won't get a job and move out - you've had three years, there's the door, fuck the fucking fuck off!!

Fuck off lovely fucking exBF who couldn't even be horrible ending it - how the fucking fuck am I meant to get over you when you're so fucking lovely even when you're breaking my heart?

Fuck off dating and men and men who date - you're all horrible fucking fuckwits who think you're God's fucking gift to women.

Fuck off cooking, washing, cleaning, shopping, working. You're all tedious and I don't want to do it anymore!

Fuck off Covid, Trump, Johnson and Cummings. You're the four horsemen of the apocalypse and you deserve to have your fucking balls cut off. Yes, you too Covid. For fuck's sake.

There, that's better 😊

leopardslikezebras

???

[quote nousernameisavailable]@Phoenix76 yeah thank you; you go for it with the elf, I'll just pop along for the ride, make myself scare and find a rock, a nice quiet rock to sit on, maybe by a pool of mysterious water, peace and quiet. Ah[/quote]
Coolio, you’re on! I’ll make sure you have the most fantastic rock in Middle Earth. I haven’t listed all my “fuck offs” as I’m bored of them myself but thank you, you’ve both cheered my day 😄.

I feel very fuck offy.
I was so irritated earlier - having dealt with a whingey 15 month all day, two whiney, squabbling 3 and 5 year olds since 3.30pm and a lying plumber who must have taken me for a mug. DH arrived home late when they were in bed, looked at his tea and I saw the look of 'Is this really what's for my tea.' but he saw that I'd clocked him and didn't dare say it aloud. It was veggie sausages, curried rice and butterbean salad followed by apple crumble and custard. I thought it was a nice tea.
Anyway, he ate it and said at the end 'Well that was very filling.'
That was when I spat out 'All 4 of you can just fuck off to another planet, I am absolutely sick of all of you today and I am doing fuck all else tonight and I am not getting up to any children tonight' and flounced up to the bathroom to have a bath and simmer. I went to bed from the bath at about 9pm.
He came upstairs with two mugs of tea and some chocolate biscuits and said 'Shall I still fuck off to Mars or can I come in?' I said 'Still fuck off to Mars'.
He left a mug and all the biscuits which I ate. I could hear him downstairs cleaning up, the dishwasher went on and the hoover. He is in Ds1 and DDs rooms making sure their clothes are ready for tomorrow. I am feeling calmer having lain in bed watching tv by myself. But still feel fuck offy.

Now I have written it down, I am still steaming about that 'Well that was very filling' comment.

I would feel the same I just tell my husband he can starve next time 😊

Haha, love you OP. Now have a glass of wine, you deserve it.

But you have time to post this on mumset?

YY to the Christmas PA

DH said he wants to sit down and go through who “we” are buying presents for because money is tight this years. The cheeky fucker. He knows I only buy presents for him and our DC. If he wants to buy presents for his family he sorts that. Has done for the last 22 fucking years 😡

Fuck off staggered drop offs and stupid fucking staggered pick ups.
Fuck off internet dating, bunch of tosspots.
Fuck off being on a diet.
And a bit shout out.... fuck off

Fuck off menopause. why did you decide to start in March right when I had to wear full ppe. Its like in inferno once everything is on

Fuck off Covid (see above)

Fuck off masks my skin is destroyed and my nails are flaking off with all the handwashing

Fuck off mother. and your stupid inane phonecalls about your stupid neighbours and your first world problems. not once in 6 months have you asked how I have coped at work or in general.

Fuck off mother again for hounding me over christmas and whether i have put a marks order in for the turkey because its the only one you like. Its 20 years since dad died . I,ve hosted you every year and you have never contributed once, or even helped prepare. I,m sick of my xmas spent running round cooking and hosting while you sit on your arse and do fuck all. then wolf your dinner down in 5 minutes get up and go out for a smoke.

Fuck off Boris and Cummings and infact all the useless arseholes in government who have handled this pandemic appalingly while giving all their mates massive contracts that they failed to fulfill. masks with 'not for use on ICU' on the box and 10 years out of date....for our ICU!

Ooh I love a good sweary rant!

(Deep breath)

Fuck off depression you fucking ARSE. I got rid of you before, I can do it again but fuck off fuck off fuck off!!!!

Fuck off mother, trying to communicate with me via an elderly relative when we are No Fucking Contact and haven't spoken in six years you abusive old witch.

Fuck off terminal illness that is killing my sibling, you utter utter wanker!

Fuck off food cravings when I'm trying to lose weight.

Fuck off insomnia!

That's better, thanks OP!

These are my 2 favourites for times like this.

British Gas - kindly fuck off and shove your fucking smart meter up your arse.
You are not coming into my house to fit it while there's a fucking pandemic rampaging it's way across the globe.
It is not fucking essential.
The appointment my DH made with you will be fucking cancelled, and so will the next and the next...
We're switching in January anyway so you can fuck off nice and early as you will be fucking off then.

Fuck off neighbours. Stop buying cars you can't fucking drive. My lawn has been fucked by both of you this week because one can't reverse anything and the other has swapped from a city car to a fuck-off off roader the size of Wales. Fuck off. If I catch you again I will remind you that in the spring you will be fucking paying for new fucking turf. Fucking fuckers.

Boris you fucker. Fuck off with everything in 3s. You couldn't find your fucking arse with both hands a map and a fucking compass. Fucker. although if you did find it you'd find Dominic Cummins up there with a fucking miners lamp looking for inspiration

Thanks, OP.
Much better.

Fuck off covid for robbing me of the chance to be with my mum when she died. And for a ridiculously small funeral with no wake to celebrate her life. It hasn't helped my grieving process at all... 😭
Fuck off SIL who barely manages two words to me when I'm in her house but is all over my sister. After last Xmas and your shitty behaviour no I really don't want to spend another one with you!
Fuck off adult relative with your constant playground dramas! You are going to be 30 soon ffs. Grow the Fuck Up or stop bleating to me about inane shit for the love of God...
Fuck off arsehole neighbours. Buy some Bluetooth headphones and keep your irritating voices down. Before I turn up on your doorstep like a deranged banshee and let you have ALL my frustration 😡😡😡😡😡😡 just stop being cunts please.
Finally Fuck Right Off depression. The thing that compounds all these other feelings until some days not getting up is the easiest option.

Thank you for starting the thread OP 👍

Turn off Read notifications on Whats App.

This has had me laughing my head off this morning! I am joining in

Fuck off waking up at 5 every morning and not being able to get back to sleep
Fuck off to Covid
A huge fuck right off to Trump and his fucking speech about kissing everyone
Fuck off to living in a world of face masked people
Fuck off menopause
Fuck off 2020

I've just uninstalled WhatsApp, it really does my head in. When I reinstall, will my messages that I've been sent come through? Not sure how it works. Just wanted a break away from it for a few days!!

You are so right!