Fuck off fuck off fuck off

[leopardslikezebras]

Care to join me in a sweaty rant...

Fuck off whatsapp groups. I simply cannot keep up and if I don't reply to you within an hour IM FUCKING BUSY. This ??? Will not make me reply any fucking sooner.

Fuck off phone in general. I honestly want to throw you in the bin.

Fuck off two weeks in advance specific minuscule time slot tip run booking. What. The. Fuck.

Fuck off thinking I'm your present PA for Christmas. I've told you what they like, if you can't be arsed to get it, don't fucking bother. I couldn't give a shit, they are too young to know and have a shit ton of crap to trip over on a daily basis.

Fuck off hormonal acne and google telling me it's likely due to eating chocolate and drinking.

Fuck off multiple relatives that live within a 5 minute drive and constantly message me constantly with "we'd love to see you soon". The last meeting was 7 days ago!!!!!! And I'm overwhelmed.

Fuck off, fuck off. Fuck. Off.

"The kids just want Baileys, Talisker, rhubarb gin and wine gums, thanks"

Fuck off heavy periods.
Fuck off radiators that never work.
Fuck off stupid colleagues .
And even fuck off DP who cannot do the only one thing I ever ask you to do.

Fuck off people on facebook selling Youuuuunique ....Body Shop....avon....holidays.....smell candles Scentsy..... stupid raffle prizes....

No you are not living your best life.

No you are not an executive director of a business - you are a fucking MLM bot now piss off my facebook feed.

Ah OP it's only a matter of time before that WA group goes suspiciously silent, because the main clique has set up a splinter group which you're not in

Fuck off Covid. Fuck off isolating with a bored baby with a fever. Fuck off DH not bothering to wash himself in 4 days. Fuck off DH never cleaning a fucking thing unless I tell him to and he has a go at me over it. FUCKING CLEAN IT YOURSELF and I wouldn't be telling you to do it, you arsehole. Fuck off stupid nursery sending DS out in the rain in his shoes instead of his wellies. You fuckers!!! Fuck my stupid colleagues who are trying to use me to take the blame for the mess they made of my job while I was on mat leave. Fuck off my stupid boss who won't stand up for me getting paid a fair market wage. Fuck off to all the women who dropped me like a sack of shit in 2016 and say stupid fucking lies about catching up when they bump into me in town. Fuck right off with your fake shite.

Fuck off stupid narc mum with your drama, I don't care what utter garbage opinions you have on anything whatsoever.

Fuck off dad being too busy to call his grandkids. You're retired, just fuck off, you sound ridiculous.

Fuck off not sleeping from being too angry

Love this. To those who say Mute WhatsApp groups - I don't think you can get rid of the red notification on the app itself and my issue is this fucking work colleague / sort of new friend who is constantly on there and messaging. I ignore for as long as I can but it kills me to ignore for too long. I don't know how to politely tell her to fuck the fuck off and stop with the constant shite. It's not just jokes though it's proper messages with questions?!!! I would delete WhatsApp but I get (less frequent) messages from other friends and family who I actually want to hear from.
If anyone's got experience of dealing with this, particularly when it's colleagues that you want to distance from but only so far you can go to continue work relationship, then do let me know. Fucks sake

Fuck off covid

Fuck off consipiracy theorists

Fuck off people who think it's clever or brave to put other people in greater danger of catching covid

Fuck off redundancy consultation at work that I'll probably be OK in but is dragging on and some good and nice people are going to lose their jobs

I have found my people...

And I’m not even tempted to tell everyone to fuck off

going soft in my own age

My mega arsehole up themselves neighbours can fuck off and dietbf they know this, I shouted it at them the last time they stopped a work an leaving my drive because they’re controlling freaks.

The twat in the small propeller plane who flies loop da fucking loops over the village I live in, he can ftfo

Stupid arse come to swim training “beach ready” can fuck off. And trying to change out of wet clothes poolside so I don’t have to drive home in bleach solution soaked clothing OR ruin my car seats but I’m swimming so I can stfu actually too

People who come up with convoluted plans because they’ve terrified themselves to past the point of insanity - off you pop, it’s an invitation not a summons, you can very well say you’re busy or ya know, tell the truth, and say you’re not comfortable seeing a friend who has a living room way bigger than the bloody cafe.

Whatevs

@merryhouse

"The kids just want Baileys, Talisker, rhubarb gin and wine gums, thanks"

😂😂😂😂😂 Yesss!!! Why have I never thought of this?

Thank you all for making me laugh so much , I was wondering why I was swearing so much recently , glad I’m not alone . x

Since when was the worship of social media compulsory? Simply switch off then you one less thing to create a rant about.

I'm in

Fuck off schools sending me 15 sodding covid emails each and having a go at me for missing the small print on letter 7, page 3, article a.

Fuck off amazon wanker delivery for refusing to deliver my facial razors to remove my ever developing facial hair, because I am not responsible enough unless I can prove that I am 18, even if I do look 50.

Fuck off raining on me.

Fick off cat, who stalks me around the house demanding food and sits on my pillow before I wake up to make sure that its the first thing I see every fucking day.

Fuck off smear test, we can't find your fucking cervix, wankers, with your, we don't have a speculum long enough for your cave, you need to have it excavated at the hospital.

Fuck off pharmacist making me prove that I am entitled to free prescriptions every single month, even though I qualify under 3 separate boxes on the form and no, I really won't get fined, you wankers, I hate you.

Oh leopards this is THE thread I needed.

Today’s the absolute embodiment of Behold My Field of Fucks is Barren.

Fuck the fuck off prune excess which caused a Dumb and Dumber style diarrhoea attack at work today.

For reference m.youtube.com/watch?v=NwcVJMvVWDA

Fuck off work for massively under paying me and now blaming Covid for never giving me a rise

Fuck off husband waking me in the night for sex

Fuck off new kitten for constantly attacking my legs

Fuck off awkward twats on school run

Cheers

@funnyoldonion I love you😁

You can tell your fucking husband to fuck the fuck off from me too.

Cancer. And more specifically panc cancer. I am not ready to face him dying so just fuck off cancer.

Fuck off mil your voice winds me up and you drain the life out of me with your constant tales of doom and gloom and stop asking about Christmas as I couldn’t give two shits about it and just want to spend the day with Dh and Dd
Fuck off new intercom at work the chiming bastard bell gives me the rage
Fuck off whatever’s going on with my stomach (waiting for appt at IBD clinic)
Fuck off hot sweats
Fuck off Fil and wife no we don’t want to see your new dog as my Dd (your granddaughter who you never bother with) is allergic to dogs which you’d know if you took an interest

Oh and a big fuck off to this week as I should have been going to Tenerife

Thank you all so much for this, I’ve said “fuck off” in unison to a lot of it.

I’d also like to say “fuck off” to whatever is trying to convince me that at 44 years old I can run off to live in Mirkwood with an immortal elf king, I mean WTF!! Menopause here I come and you can fuck off too 😂

Oh and very short staffed at work, that can really fuck off!

Thank you 🙏

Omg so can relate to this !!! As I've got older I've become so intolerant, anti social and irritable with every fucker going. I just want my DC, dog, DH, mum and dad round me. The rest can do one!!
Every appointment, time slot, meeting, any demand on my time just does my head in!!!

Thank you for this thread. I thought I was the only one like this!!

@Whattheduck the intercom chime made me laugh

@bloodywhitecat I'm so sorry

Fucking yes OP. 👏👏👏

@Phoenix76 it's NEVER too late to run off to Mirkwood with an immortal elf king! 🧝‍♂️

[quote BeautifulandWilfulandDead]@Phoenix76 it's NEVER too late to run off to Mirkwood with an immortal elf king! 🧝‍♂️ [/quote]
That’s not helping 😂 I’m having an internal battle with myself, I’m usually a very sensible, professional, logical blah blah person but man he’s so fine! The worst thing is I didn’t even know who he was, it was mentioned on another thread here and thinking myself well versed in the films I stupidly googled it and now I’m fantasising about how this is my utopia lol, thank you for making me lol