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Original poster

Why is body size so important to some people?

164 replies

Beaverdam100 · 12/10/2020 20:02

I seen a post on fb of a sagging stomach area which had a caption along the lines of what real women look like after having a baby.

It didnt sit right with me. Some women bounce back and some women dont. Both are okay and real. Body shape and size seem to be a huge thing with some people and i find it really sad.

My mid area went back straight after the birth and i was in size 6 jeans straight away. My boobs on the other hand are wrecked but i get that other womens stay perky.

Anyone else find this obsession with weight, shape, size over the top? Theres more to life.

OP posts:
LavaCake · 13/10/2020 13:44

I'm just saying I'm not bothered by it.

It’s your lack of empathy / understanding for those who are bothered by it which is the issue imo. I just think it’s sensible to acknowledge that women are under enormous pressure to have idealised bodies, and it’s not their fault for being aware of that pressure. It’s great if you aren’t personally affected by it, but it’s worth remembering that 1) self confidence doesn’t make you a better person than people who lack self confidence and 2) the fact that you’re slim and society idealises slimness inevitably makes it easier for you to be at peace with your body than if you were fat.

AllTheUserNamesAreTaken · 13/10/2020 14:02

"Size 6s are real women too" is a bit like "all lives matter". Yes obviously they are, but no one ever said they weren't.

This. With bells on!!

Very slim women saying hearing other women say they are ‘real’ is somehow skinny shaming and just as bad as fat shaming are being extremely disingenuous.

In the same way that a white person saying ‘I’ve experienced racism too, it’s just as bad’ is disingenuous (or just deluded).

And I say that as a size 12 who is pretty fit but carrying a few extra pounds so no real skin in this game (pun intended)

BLASTPROCESSING · 13/10/2020 14:04

Great bait OP. 10/10

MsEllany · 13/10/2020 14:07

@Beaverdam100 most women wear bras when out of the house. No one can tell whether your boobs are perky or not, but everyone can tell if you’re fat.

Maybe when you’ve had a milkshake thrown at you from a car accompanying the ringing message of FAT CUNT you’ll understand.

I mean, I’m not bothered by your tits or your belly but I’m allowed to be bothered by mine. Especially when every message women are given about their bodies is that they’re not right unless they fit in a very narrow set of ‘rules’.

ScarMatty · 13/10/2020 14:08

@MandalaYogaTapestry

Ermmm yes we potentially are. We're talking about something that a 16 year old is likely to see. A girl or woman should be shown what your body can potentially change to after a baby Confused

GrumpyHoonMain · 13/10/2020 14:13

@Beaverdam100

My boobs went up to a G cup and now i can literally pull loose skin. They are saggy. Please do no not assume what my breasts look like.
Then you weren’t a size 6 clearly.
kowari · 13/10/2020 14:14

"Size 6s are real women too" is a bit like "all lives matter". Yes obviously they are, but no one ever said they weren't. Slim women are often told that their bodies resemble those of teenage girls or boys, that their bodies are not 'womanly'.

Original poster
Beaverdam100 · 13/10/2020 15:22

No i obviously wasnt a 6 when pregnant 🙄

OP posts:
MandalaYogaTapestry · 13/10/2020 16:37

StarMatty 16-year-old may also believe that they are fat when they are actually skinny, that people over 30 are geriatrics and that the boy from her class is the one. Takes a lot of magazine covers to deal with these.

So lets talk about actual women, shall we?

ScarMatty · 13/10/2020 18:19

@MandalaYogaTapestry

StarMatty 16-year-old may also believe that they are fat when they are actually skinny, that people over 30 are geriatrics and that the boy from her class is the one. Takes a lot of magazine covers to deal with these.

So lets talk about actual women, shall we?

Umm, not quite sure why you're so negative and ready for an argument.

I was literally saying that girls and women of all ages should be exposed to a huge variety of bodies and not just perfection/photoshopped.

Bizarre responses you have.

laudete · 13/10/2020 18:32

YANBU; the only thing a lot of posters have read is "size 6", which proves your point. Real women of any size do not need to have a saggy stomach to prove they've had a baby and/or they are women. You can have saggy skin because you're older and your skin has lost elasticity. Or, because you've experienced extreme weight changes. Or, lots of other reasons. All women are real women. It's not dependent on weight or size.

MsEllany · 13/10/2020 19:20

@laudete that wasn’t OP’s point though was it. Her point was - why are people so obsessed with women’s bodies when I have completely accepted mine.

I can completely accept my size 20 36HH body but I suspect we both know with one gets the abuse from rude arseholes.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 13/10/2020 19:26

@Auridon

Because most people seem to need others to tell them what is normal and what isn't. They're lemmings. Facebook seems to attract a lot of lemmings, too. Horrible platform on so many levels.
In a nutshell, this. Why? Why do we need so much validation and confirmation about what is and isn't ok? We have brains, don't we? Cognisant, thinking, reasoning brains...
maddening · 13/10/2020 20:37

Lavacake has totally nailed it!

amijustparanoidorjuststoned · 13/10/2020 20:38

Because the Patriarchy.

sundowners · 13/10/2020 21:23

Beaverdam100 YABU as you are also body obsessed. Or you wouldn't have felt the need to drop in the fact you got straight back into size 6 jeans. Size 6 being very slim and as you know, would be enviable for many women pre pregnancy, let alone afterwards. Your comment there alone is exactly what you are saying you are amazed by and it would have made some women still struggling to drop weight post- baby feel like shit.
The majority of mums boobs are not what they were after having a baby, so for you to drop this in as way of saying you are so chilled/real about your body doesn't really hit the mark. So you've just confirmed what you were claiming to be surprising in that, a huge majority of women are pretty conscious of/ in some cases obsessed by body shape/size.

borntohula · 13/10/2020 21:28

The fact that everyone thinks this is a 'stealth boast' shows that 'fat shaming' is a bigger issue than 'skinny shaming.' Skinny will always be preferable.

OatBaker · 13/10/2020 21:30

You post reads like a rich person saying "I don't understand why money is so important to some people". Are you really so ignorant or are you just looking to be told how jealous everyone is that you're skinny?

LilyWater · 13/10/2020 23:57

Where I find sometimes the "body positivity" negative is where it actively celebrates the bodies of women (it's normally women, not men) who are overweight/obese etc. It doesn't make sense to be to actively celebrating a body that is placing you at greater risk of serious health problems, is one of the very biggest and costliest health problems the NHS is facing right now, and the NHS is spending serious money on to address. It doesn't do overweight/obese people any good to be in denial about their serious issue and to celebrate something which is very detrimental to their wellbeing.

kowari · 14/10/2020 07:16

The fact that everyone thinks this is a 'stealth boast' How do you know what everyone thinks? Because a few people have posted it? I don't think it is.

Generalblah · 14/10/2020 08:10

I think you missed the point of the post really. The media likes to point out that when celebrities ‘bounce back’ and say how amazing they are it isn’t a true depiction of what the majority of women look like after birth. There is now - thankfully - a new generation of celebrities who are showing the not so nice side of after pregnancy. However, the media doesn’t necessarily say how great they look but how brave they are for showing the stark truth... can you see the difference now?

The post, although focusing on the stomach area, is really trying to normalise and take that pressure off of women who do not snap back; this being whether your stomach hasn’t, boobs, bum, legs - whatever! Therefore your point that your boobs didn’t go back is neither here nor there when you conpare that to your stomach which went straight back to size 6. It’s easy to hide saggy boobs, a bulging stomach is quite different.

Really, I think you are being slightly insensitive to others who have struggled to get back to pre-pregnancy size and that is why you are being attacked for your comments. Had you have said ‘I went back to my normal size’ people wouldn’t have been so annoyed with you. You are being inadvertently unkind.

Original poster
Beaverdam100 · 14/10/2020 10:15

Opinion seems to be split 50/50. I dont mind the negative comments.

OP posts:
Original poster
Beaverdam100 · 14/10/2020 10:22

I think a few of you have missed my point. None of us have the perfect body and calling one group of women real for having a sagging skin does not mean that other people are not real too. Some peoples stomachs go back normal but they will have other parts that do not go back normal. Some women bounce back in every way and that it okay too. I don't think society needs these 'real' posts but that is just my opinion.

OP posts:
ScarMatty · 14/10/2020 10:33

@Beaverdam100

I think a few of you have missed my point. None of us have the perfect body and calling one group of women real for having a sagging skin does not mean that other people are not real too. Some peoples stomachs go back normal but they will have other parts that do not go back normal. Some women bounce back in every way and that it okay too. I don't think society needs these 'real' posts but that is just my opinion.
You seem to have missed the post which is a fabulous comparison on here

"Black lives matter" does not mean that all other lives don't matter.

Please, engage your brain.

unmarkedbythat · 14/10/2020 10:35

You care so little that you had to include in your post the size of the jeans you were back in. OK.

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