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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Nursery withholding DS drink

277 replies

T33l9 · 12/10/2020 08:33

My toddler (new to nursery) has been returning home with a full drink cup, as in - not being given his juice.

It is sugar free and heavily diluted so it's not unhealthy.

After doing some reading online it appears that alot of nurseries have a blanket rule of 'no juice' but this hasn't been communicated with me.

My problem is that he is a restricted eater/drinker due to having additional needs and I'm concerned he's not getting sufficient fluids. He may take a sip of water if he's totally parched, if they're lucky, but he certainly won't take in enough. When he gets home he screams and shouts for juice because he's overly thirsty.

AIBU to tell them to let him have the juice I'm sending him in with?

OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 12/10/2020 17:59

Happy for you op

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 12/10/2020 18:02

I am fuming, @T33l9 - how very dare you come on AIBU and have everything work out easily and quickly, with no bunfights! Wink

Seriously - I’m glad it was sorted out so easily for you. Smile

2bazookas · 12/10/2020 18:05

Why have you sent you child to a nursery without even
informing them of/ discussing his special medical needs, and discussing how that will fit with their protocol?

SleepingStandingUp · 12/10/2020 18:07

@2bazookas

Why have you sent you child to a nursery without even informing them of/ discussing his special medical needs, and discussing how that will fit with their protocol?
Op has made it clear that she has discussed his restrictive diet and that the issue of him not drinking his juice because he isn't allowed is a miscommunication and he does and can, so they do in face understand and try to meet his needs
Skyliner001 · 12/10/2020 18:13

Ask the nursery rather than the internet? 🙄

marmite79 · 12/10/2020 18:13

Have you spoken to the staff? Maybe he drinks there and doesn’t need his own. If not I’d definitely be annoyed too. I have a son with additional needs. At one point he wouldn’t drink anything but squash and squash wasn’t really allowed.. if rather children drink weak squash than nothing at all because that isn’t healthy!

Original poster
T33l9 · 12/10/2020 18:20

For those who haven't RTFT the issue has been resolved. There was miscommunication on all sides, he's not being refused juice they're just encouraging water aswell.

They are aware of his SEN needs as it's a SEN nursery.

OP posts:
LunaLula83 · 12/10/2020 18:22

Go and talk to the nursery instead of bitching on here

Sirzy · 12/10/2020 18:24

@LunaLula83

Go and talk to the nursery instead of bitching on here
Maybe read the thread before jumping in?
Newnamenewopenme · 12/10/2020 18:25

Can you send a juice bottle and a water bottle tomorrow? As you’ve mentioned him being dry and thirsty when getting home. That way you can measure how much he has had to drink still?

Glad it’s sorted though and that they haven’t been pouring it away. I can’t stand water and even as an adult dehydrate myself if I can’t get juice because I can’t bring myself to drink it so I know how he feels.

updownroundandround · 12/10/2020 18:25

@ T33l9

I'm so happy to hear it's all sorted and that you, your DS and the nursery are all happy Grin

I certainly know that feeling of being all Mama Bear about my SEN kids ! And it was usually just a storm in a teacup/ miscommunication for me too Blush

But keep your Mama Bear instinct on standby, because, unfortunately, it probably will be necessary/ appropriate for some things that will crop up during DC's educational years.

You're obviously a fantastic Mum who will, I've no doubt, always be making sure your DS gets the education he needs, exactly as it should be ! (just come on here for a 'balanced' view/ other viewpoints if you're not sure your Mama Bear instinct is appropriate for the situation Grin)

Original poster
T33l9 · 12/10/2020 18:28

Who pissed in your cornflakes today Luna?

I posted on here for alt perspectives before I spoke to the nursery this afternoon, which I always intended to do.

If you bothered to read either of my last two posts before commenting, you'd know that.

I see the evening crowd are here Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
T33l9 · 12/10/2020 18:29

Thank you updown and others. Your input has been valued and appreciated today Smile

OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 12/10/2020 18:31

@Skyliner001

Ask the nursery rather than the internet? 🙄
Jerez if u can't read the thread, at least read her last post
Original poster
T33l9 · 12/10/2020 18:33

DS has just accepted a beaker of water at home, this is marvellous Smile

Juice on stand by of course, but I'm SO surprised and relieved.

Not long ago he would have thrown the beaker across the room.

OP posts:
CottonSock · 12/10/2020 18:40

The school nurse intervened on our behalf when we had a very similar issue. Different needs, but my kid won't drink water which caused health problems. I know he's not in school yet, but just wanted to let you know you are not alone.

SunshineCake · 12/10/2020 18:40

Great result @T33l9

Your DH needs listening and understanding lessons!

I was going to suggest a beaker of water next to his juice at meal times and he can choose.

BTB I sucked my thumb until I was 23 and met dh..

Scaraffito · 12/10/2020 18:43

Amazing OP, so pleased for you. What seems like a small victory can actually be a massive accomplishment, sounds very positive.

Raera · 12/10/2020 19:02

Great result!
My kids always took water much better if it had been kept in the fridge and now my grandsons do too!
Just tap water but in a bottle in the fridge. Ice cubes make it even more appealing !

babygroups · 12/10/2020 19:05

@Raera my son only asks for 'Icy water' too.

Joeblack066 · 12/10/2020 19:10

@Itisbetter

It’s a bit like saying your child should be allowed to smoke because the adults around him do.

I think you are getting terribly confrontational before even talking to them about it.

From a healthy eating point of view it’s his teeth I’d worry about rather than sugars (ie acidic drinks dipped through the day cause decay). If they can shift him on to water I think that would be fabulous.

What a ridiculous comment.
Joeblack066 · 12/10/2020 19:11

@Itisbetter

She hasn’t even talked to them about it yet.
No, she was trying to get some helpful experience and ideas from the supportive community that is MN.... oh... wait.....
ineedaholidaynow · 12/10/2020 19:17

Great result @T33l9.

Joeblack066 · 12/10/2020 19:20

@T33l9

Well I've spoken with the nursery and there has been a big miscommunication, partly thanks to DP coming back to me this morning and saying the nursery wants them "all to have the same" and that being bloody water.

He's got his wires crossed which then fuelled my annoyance today.

I told the manager I had not been made aware of the "no juice" policy as I've been sending him with juice since July and nobody had mentioned anything to me, she said she hasn't banned juice at all but is encouraging the children to drink water aswell as she's under pressure from the higher ups to encourage healthy eating/drinking.

(She didn't say that to DP this morning though, only that they're encouraging drinking water - so he returned home believing it was only water allowed)

She has assured me that DS is doing well in adjusting to drinking water but when he refuses (which is 50% of the time) then he's given juice. This explains why sometimes his bottle is empty and sometimes full. He has days where he'll happily drink water but then point blank refuse on other occasions.

They haven't ever poured his juice away.

I've agreed to encourage him to drink more water at home with a view to hopefully lessening the amount he refuses it at nursery.

There has been a lack of communication on all sides, mine included.

All said and done I'm on board with the nursery encouraging him to drink more water and will do the same at home. I see it as a positive and I'm on board with it now I know exactly what's happening.

So glad it’s sorted. So sorry people were accusatory in this thread but I was very impressed with how you kept your composure throughout. Best of luck for the future!
AibuTellMe · 12/10/2020 20:47

Nursery were right then that's good op.