Nursery withholding DS drink

[T33l9]

My toddler (new to nursery) has been returning home with a full drink cup, as in - not being given his juice.

It is sugar free and heavily diluted so it's not unhealthy.

After doing some reading online it appears that alot of nurseries have a blanket rule of 'no juice' but this hasn't been communicated with me.

My problem is that he is a restricted eater/drinker due to having additional needs and I'm concerned he's not getting sufficient fluids. He may take a sip of water if he's totally parched, if they're lucky, but he certainly won't take in enough. When he gets home he screams and shouts for juice because he's overly thirsty.

AIBU to tell them to let him have the juice I'm sending him in with?

Op i know its been resolved but just wanted to add, my ds (who is 3) is a juice guzzler (i also call it juice when its squash) but at nursery happily drinks water and doesnt go thirsty yet will come home and drink bottle after bottle if we let him, hes terrible for it.
I know you ds has extra needs but could it be an element of that? Would happily drink forever?

Same with a dummy, the nursery never gave it to him (maybe a couple of times when he was little) and hes fine without it but the minute he walks through the door demands it and he doesnt even need it. We are working on stopping him using it but its hard, its one of his main comforts he has always known and doesnt quite understand why he cant have it.

Sometimes these things are more habit than need

I should say sorry that im not saying stopping your ds dummy if you dont think hes ready too just pondering the habits of children!

@AibuTellMe

Nursery were right then that's good op.

Was that needed @AibuTellMe 🙄

Well done OP. You handled the situation AND this thread, so well 👏

One of my daughters was sent home from Nursery with a note saying please would I only give her honey sandwiches as she'd told them that was all she would eat! Just thought I'd share... Was IBU to tell them to sling it?!

My son attended a mainstream nursery - private- which had many children with additional needs too- I wouldn’t discount somewhere because it’s MS - go and take a look at see how you feel/ gut instinct. Use FB to suss where people would recommend with additional needs too- from memory the visible needs at ours included Downs Syndrome, mobility disabilities, neuro disabilities, and that’s before many dietary issues on top... Hope you get sorted

Will he drink lemon juice? Sneak that in as it’ll be clear like water. 👍🏻

Juice, hardly diluted fruit drink

@T33l9

Thank you for your replies

In regards to weeing: his book always states that he was wet when changed but he's always bone dry when he gets home.

I need to establish whether this is because they're changing him again before pick up.

Generally he wees alot but is clearly weeing less when at nursery.

My DS’ nursery give me a sheet of paper with times of nappy changes and the contents. Worth pointing out that other than a change of clothes and his nappies or wipes, our nursery ask we don’t send drinks etc from home to avoid cross contamination of covid etc. Always worth asking, I’m sure your lad isn’t wanting for anything 😊

You doing like one of THOSE parents. Nursery practitioners have a duty of care to children, including his/her dietary needs! You are winding yourself up and have obv got your arse in your hand already so I doubt it will actually matter what they say. You are forgetting that your child will be with other children, who all will have difficulties. If YOUR child is allowed a dummy and juice, what about the others? Is that fair on them? And yes, staff are allowed to have a cup of tea WITH SUGAR! God bloody forbid they have a hot drink whilst looking after your little darlings! The children don’t have to make it for them!

When he goes to school he won't get juice. My D's goes to a special school and no juice allowed or choccy biscuits or crisps. This is for all children restrictive eaters or not. Healthy eating and drinking only at his school.

If he is drinking some water at nursery he is already getting used to drinking water. I would offer him water at home too. The only reason he wants juice is because you introduced him to it. If you had only ever offered him water or milk this is what he was used to and would drink and you would not have this problem. He might prefer juice but that is not the same as refusing to drink water. If he has a wet nappy he is drinking at nursery.

I never gave any of children dummies so never had the problem of breaking them of the habit. Try to think ahead, will this be habit forming or not.

Our nursery pours juice away and refills the cups with water.

OP I am glad you managed to get this sorted

Just wanted to say dont feel bad if you miss something... my DD has been back at nursery since July and it was only several weeks later I realised she should be taking a bottle in with her .. luckily nursery was giving her a clean cup at meal times.

They did say I can send her in with a bottle of squash but refills will only ever be water. As she is used to water there I just do that but like you at home she prefers "juice" so predominantly has very diluted squash but I also leave an extra bottle of water around so if she will sometimes go for that too

Also re the dummy... my dd is over 3 now and still has it for sleep time or when she is unwell. I just make sure if she needs to talk to me she takes it out

This may be because of covid and additional hygiene measures have been introduced and nursery provide all drinks/cups to children so that they don’t share and are sterilised after use .

I haven’t posted on here for years but every time I now glance at the replies to these posts, Mumsnet is no longer the supportive network it used to be. So many posts involve other mothers berating the original poster for basically asking for advice or support, its very shocking and Mumsnet should be filtering these users just as they would if they posted offensive views. What if the mother is young and inexperienced or it’s their first child or they live in a remote area and need advice or have anxiety issues, just think please before you post and if you don’t have anything supportive to say, don’t post at all! Well done T3319 for sorting it out and hope you took what you needed from the constructive posters and ignored the rest!

Great news! Sounds like the nursery are on the ball.

My sons nursery doesn’t let you take own bottles, they all have the same bottles they provide so all the kids have same ones (I’m guessing so kids don’t get jealous etc)

Many schools / nurseries are the moment won’t allow any drink containers in due to whatever Covid regulations they have in place. Maybe no children are allowed their cup, just nursery property cups? Our Reception age child isn’t allowed to bring a bottle.

@Goldencurtain

Juice is a fairly recent invention, I don't think any child died of dehydration as they waited the millennia for it to be invented.

Same with beige food. Unless bananas I suppose!

I feel your pain. I'm a grandmother and this sort of thing drove me nuts back in the day long before the world got ultra silly over sugar. I resent people telling how to raise kids, how on earth do they think all our older generation survived, real fat from dripping, butter, sugar, gluten. Anyway my DGS has a childminder who is amazing, but she does what we want whilst promoting other ways. My DGS still has a bottle at 2 because it comforts him, he takes juice which is not sugar free as I don't agree with chemicals in juice for children. She will promote a cup and water but he chooses and so he should. Id try find a good childminder.

@Fenwick2006

I haven’t posted on here for years but every time I now glance at the replies to these posts, Mumsnet is no longer the supportive network it used to be. So many posts involve other mothers berating the original poster for basically asking for advice or support, its very shocking and Mumsnet should be filtering these users just as they would if they posted offensive views. What if the mother is young and inexperienced or it’s their first child or they live in a remote area and need advice or have anxiety issues, just think please before you post and if you don’t have anything supportive to say, don’t post at all! Well done T3319 for sorting it out and hope you took what you needed from the constructive posters and ignored the rest!

well said. I honestly couldn't agree more

I really sympathize with you, OP, and I know that children on the spectrum do not suddenly do what every other child does - just to be like the others. In fact, kids with ASD can have issues with drinking too muvh/ not enough even into their teens. ( E.g. not drinking fluid when absorbed by computer games)
The rationale of pouring juice away and not telling you this has been done is completely anti-communication. Do they not look at issues from the parental perspective?

Of course you will be anxious or wanting other opinions before raising this with the nursery. I feel you need a very caring response to your questions.

When you speak with nursery, I'd concentrate on the aspect of not telling you things.

All your concerns sound completely reasonable to me. After all, your child can't fully communicate his needs to them. I would consult your GP and explain your concern about DS's reluctance to drink water. Say this might raise problems in any number of settings. Perhaps your GP will write a letter to them outlining the importance of them monitoring his fluid intake precisely. At least we are coming into winter and dehydration is less of a concern.

I would pack plenty of juicy fruit in his lunch and snack boxes and give him plenty to drink before and just after nursery. Of course if all food has to be a particular colour, it is even harder for you.

I'm sending you love and support.

I’m really pleased it’s all worked out for you op. I also have to congratulate you on your thoughtful, patient and considered answers to some of the posts that I can only imagine were posted to annoy and rile you.

As a parent of a child on the spectrum I honestly count my lucky stars we never had food/drink issues.
He has a lot of severe sensory and anti-social behaviour but the stress of providing healthy nutrition/hydration must be the worst.

Sounds like the nursery are working on developing a safe structure where he able to develop new behaviours.

@AldiAisleofCrap my daughter's dentist told her that well diluted squash is better than actual fruit juice as there is a great amount of sugar in the latter. Therefore, even if fruit juice is watered down there will still be a lot more sugar in it than sugar free squash.

This thread made me smile, not because I'm laughing at the OP (or anyone else for that matter), my son has a similar diagnosis, and I used to have to take a plate of food in for my son as he didn't 'do' packed lunches or anything green or anything round. He had to have his own plate too (in case of germs), and wouldn't drink from school jugs or beakers (because someone might have spat in it; one of his many habits).

My granddaughter on the other hand when in Y2 had problems at lunchtime because all the jugs contained diluted squash; she only drank water (and still does in Y8). She doesn't drink ANYTHING except water and never has.