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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask what were you thinking last time you had sex?

154 replies

BraveGoldie · 11/10/2020 12:53

..... that you might not have said out loud to your partner?

I really love sex with my partner, but despite this some strange things pop into my head while doing the deed. Last time specifically:

"Oooh I wonder if the cereal dispenser I ordered will arrive tomorrow...... "

What about you?

OP posts:
wizzywig · 12/10/2020 00:03

I wonder if i will have sex with someone else

Rubybluesy · 12/10/2020 00:28

Dirty thoughts

MsJaneAusten · 12/10/2020 00:40

Some of this is really sad reading.

LTBs!

There is better sex out there for you.

LisburnNI · 12/10/2020 01:46

'This feels..different.' I was right, He left me the next day after 20 years together. I just knew.

Moonshinemisses · 12/10/2020 01:51

I am a lucky lucky woman

Downunderduchess · 12/10/2020 02:25

I have to tell him I don’t want him anymore (long term FWB). I’m just not that bothered these days. I told him, it was sad but he understood & we remain on good terms.

Cantbreathe2020 · 12/10/2020 04:07

Cannot remember as it was 5 years ago!!!

SeptemberGurl · 12/10/2020 08:00

Time for me to finish him off :) ... I've got a Zoom call in 10 mins

SeptemberGurl · 12/10/2020 08:06

Made it just in time, meeting delayed 10 mins. Policy of cameras on for Zoom, work face on but it feels like I'm sitting in a puddle/dripping, neither nice nor uncomfortable though, a lot changed with from home!!

SeptemberGurl · 12/10/2020 08:07

with working from home

gingganggooleywotsit · 12/10/2020 08:08

I always think how good this is, and must do it way more often! Feel sad for those that hate sex with their partner. Why stay?it's hard when you have kids etc, but ultimately you need to think about your compatibility and personal happiness. I've been in a relationship like that and leaving him was the best thing I ever did.

YeahWhatevver · 12/10/2020 08:12

The one thing this thread shows is how little people talk to each other about what the like, don't like and what the want out of their sex life

ANC4this · 12/10/2020 08:13

Snap! Same here for the early morning Zoom meeting with camera on!! As long as it's not on my face, then I'm ready in 5 minutes :)

Actually a quick look around the collection 8 of clock Zoom heads, I've often thought ... what were you doing 15 minutes before???

arethereanyleftatall · 12/10/2020 08:16

Reading the last few messages, I'm now never going to be able to just see faces in a zoom meeting without wondering if they've got anything on other than a top.

luckyduckydooda · 12/10/2020 08:38

I wish I'd turned the light off...and I hope we don't wake dc...

VeniceQueen2004 · 12/10/2020 08:38

@gingganggooleywotsit

It's really, really, really not as simple as that. You can love your partner, love your life together, and still lose your libido through no fault of theirs or yours. It's horrible. But because we live in a world like this, where people like you will be telling the partner of the person who is struggling with libido loss that they are entitled to a satisfying sex life and positively letting themselves down if they don't get it, the person who no longer wants sex needs to keep on having it if they want to preserve their relationship through what could be a simple blip. Even a very understanding partner will be swayed by s constant societal message that regardless of history, kids, commitment, compatibility in ever other sphere, anything less than fantastic sex whenever you feel like it means the dreaded sexual incompatibility which should result in instant break-up.

Drawmelikeoneofyourfrenchgirls · 12/10/2020 08:54

Thinking about my gym instructor Blush

crochetmonkey74 · 12/10/2020 09:02

Dear God no wonder so many men have affairs

Good Lord, will add to my list of things that are womens fault

Even though they are also having to put up with bad sex

ANC4this · 12/10/2020 09:07

@arethereanyleftatall, I'm always full dressed Halo I often had to stand up and leave to go collect a parcel/delivery during a call.

Chocobohead · 12/10/2020 09:13

Good Lord, will add to my list of things that are womens fault

A woman's place is in the wrong...

ANC4this · 12/10/2020 09:23

@VeniceQueen2004, I understand what you say, and that must be awful. However, I'd think that in the majority (no stats to back this up!) of posts I've read on MN then bad/no sex in a relationship is often associated with (and a follow on from?) other relationship problems too.

There are just so many posts here from women who have awful partners, don't seem to really care about what they wants, don;t help out, etc. Lots of selfish self-entitled men!

msflibble · 21/10/2020 18:07

@VeniceQueen2004 I feel the same as you. I love my partner, we have great chemistry, banter, respect for each other, I think he's really handsome and a considerate lover but... I just hardly ever feel like sex. It's really tough. I used to be a goer too. He used to be the one who turned me down because I was asking to bang every day or twice a day! I miss those days :(

LakieLady · 21/10/2020 18:23

"Bloody hell, I'm getting too old for all this jigging about".

veraismyspiritanimal · 21/10/2020 18:29

His willy really isn't very big 😢

bloodywhitecat · 21/10/2020 18:33

Please don't let this be the last time.

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