Coming out of work

[Twistered]

I'm mid forties and considering coming out of my part time job completely. Financially we will be ok if we tighten the belts a little. I am just done with working and want to focus on my family even though my children are teenagers now. What else would I do though? Those who don't work can you give me some suggestions how things go without the routine of a job?

Some of the replies on here are sickening. Even if OP did have a husband, why do you assume that the husband has been the breadwinner and that it is problematic that the wife wishes to give up work, leaving the husband working?

My mum retired in her mid 40s. She’d been the main earner since the start of her marriage at the age of 21. At times she’d earned 4 times my dads salary. She spent years working long hours and travelling the whole country. She went back to work when I was 6 months. My dad did the school pick ups and majority of the childcare. She ensured the mortgage was paid off by the time they were 40. She was fully in charge of the finances and ensured they invested and saved. She paid for my private education, She bought the holiday home, she’s paid for private healthcare for the whole family and she bought my dad his dream car for his 50th.

Why the fuck shouldn’t she have retired early? My parents live a much less extravagant lifestyle now (15 years after her retirement), but they are financially secure and my dad is avoiding talks of his own retirement as he’s worried he’ll be bored.

And to actually answer your question OP - my mum now does a lot of voluntary work for an animal charity and is also a youth group leader. She also breeds pedigree cats as a hobby (1 litter of kittens per year) but does make some profit from selling the kittens, which pays for a yearly holiday abroad. She’s managed to find voluntary work that keeps her busy and provides her with a busy social life! She doesn’t regret retiring early one bit, and has never felt the need to go back to paid work.

more than two in our house and pets.

That does make a huge difference. I keep a clean and tidy house because I grew up in a dirty and messy house.

Having a DD at university don't underestimate how much it costs to support them. Even if your DC are in receipt of the full maintenance loan some halls of residence would take up most of that. With jobs being hard to come by over the next few years you can't assume that they will find work to supplement their income.

The people I know who don’t work generally do a mix of gym, dog walks, coffee drinking or lunching with friends, shopping, gardening, house decorating and some kind of volunteering.

I’ve had a few periods of not working, I’m ok for maybe 4-6 months (usually with jobs around the house and garden) and then get bored. My husband hasn’t worked for about 18 months due to some health issues he just potters around the house (he’s mid 50’s) and at the moment he’s got a project of scanning lots of our photos. We have 2 teens, 1 of whom has special needs.

If giving up a part time job means you have to tighten your belts, then your inheritance is not a lot of money so it's going to run out at some point.

Kids are expensive and they need you to provide them with the skills they need to compete in a very competitive global economy. They will need driving lessons, perhaps extra tutoring and help getting through University or training. It's your responsibility to ensure they have the best start you can provide.

Also when your inheritance runs out, you'll have no income. If you leave the workforce in your forties, you won't be coming back in ten or twenty years. However, you probably have another forty or fifty ahead of you. So where's the money going to come from?

How will you manage financially if you live to be, say, 80?

It’s not ‘conditioning’ to think that we should do paid work, it’s financial necessity for most people!

@Twistered I can't work due to my health and I'm a single parent to a child in primary.

I am bored SENSELESS! Yes, my life might be more interesting if I had better mobility but honestly, I feel like I have no identity. No meaning. No life.
To be fair, this is made worse by having friends who either live elsewhere in the country or have busy lives, but still. I'm utterly fed up.

In the school playground I look longingly at the working parents heading off to work to be around other adults! 😩

That sunds difficult @Cantbreathe2020

If you are in UK you need 35 qualifying years to receive a full state pension

You can check this via www.gov.uk & search under state pension & National Insurance. Using your NI you can see your exact contributions & estimate date for your state pension. I guess you could pay into the NI system ?

My friend has just moved to a warmer European country (has no dependants) has sold up & moved somewhere cheaper. Has some hobbies that can be continued in the new location

Another friend had a sailing boat, caravan & hobbies

You could grow veg & flowers in your garden or allotment to eat, donate to food bank or area

My ideal would be to travel extensively (but not appropriate in Covid times)

What would make you happy ?

Move to the seaside or countryside ?

@Ginfordinner

That sunds difficult *@Cantbreathe2020*

Thank you for the flowers :)

My DD has Autism which is what makes it difficult. Just wish I had a partner to provide abbot of emotional support. The loneliness is excruciating

It's shit isn't it. When DD was a baby she had some serious health issues that meant I was housebound for a year. It was awful, so I understand how isolating something like this can be.

Kizzykat thank you X

Cantbrethe ..... I feel so bad for you

When I was mid-40s and my kids were 10-14 I stopped working for a while. I was very burnt out and tired from balancing work and family. I really needed the break.

For the first year or 2 I mostly improved my skills in things that interested me and that would help me become a successful freelancer.

I did a couple of volunteer projects for no fee to give me a portfolio and experience. I did an evening class and attended some cheap local conferences.

I also just did all the other home stuff more slowly, went to the gym, got a dog, saw friends etc.

That time off gave me the mental space to decide what to do next. It helped me get over the burnout. I really enjoyed the time I got to spend with my kids, and help them through some tough times.

Since then I've gradually increased my freelancing so that I now earn a good income but also have the flexibility to be there when my kids or friends need me. I still have some job satisfaction and the knowledge that I could go out to work again if necessary.

My oldest is now at college and I don't want her graduating with massive debt, so much of my income goes to her college costs. I'm assuming I'll do that for my younger two.

What's left I put away in a private pension.

Not sure if that answered your question, but your situation really resonated with me.