Coming out of work

[Twistered]

I'm mid forties and considering coming out of my part time job completely. Financially we will be ok if we tighten the belts a little. I am just done with working and want to focus on my family even though my children are teenagers now. What else would I do though? Those who don't work can you give me some suggestions how things go without the routine of a job?

Personally I wouldn’t, as I know people who have gone into early retirement, older than you, who are now line dancing and doing patchwork quilting, to fill their time (during non covid times). And I get the feeling they’re not totally enjoying it. But the decision is yours OP, and you should do what you need to do. If you step back from working now, it doesn’t mean it’s forever. You might just need a break to re-energise and find a passion you want to focus on. You’re not going to be a drain on society as you state you are financially independent. Totally different to those who choose to not work, and claim benefits to sustain their chosen lifestyle.

Robyn trip what is your structure if you don't mind me asking?

I guess we are all viewing it from our own personal perspectives.
Pre-covid I used to volunteer. That isn't happening now. I like to travel. That isn't happening now. I like to meet friends. That isn't happening now. Other options during the pandemic are not happening either.

We have no pets, no dependent elderly relatives and live nowhere near either family, who we can't vist now anyway. Our daughter is away at university. I am not the least bit interested in sewing or any kind of crafting. As there are two of us our house is always clean and tidy.

I love gardening, and our garden has never looked better, but it is a small garden and doesn't take up a lot of my time. We love walking, and have spent the summer and autumn walking around all the local reservoirs, of which there are many. I love cooking and baking, and always cook from scratch. Although, I have cut back on baking because I don't want to put any more weight on. I also do online pilates and have joined an online book group. None of these take up huge amounts of time.

So, I still work (part time) and love it. It gives me structure, makes me feel appreciated and valued. It gives me an income. I get to talk to my workmates on Teams every day. At 61 I am so not ready to stop working any time soon.

I still have loads of free time though, and can't imagine not working.

I will say that, in my experience, teenagers need you more in many ways than small children do. I was worn out emotionally when DD was a teenager. I can't imagine that x 3

What about a change of job to something you feel passionate about and doing less hours? Volunteering in an area you are passionate about is a good step though

Everyone's different op. Only you can know how you would fill your day. Personally I would be bored stiff volunteering in school (not even allowed at present as far as I know) and pottering about the house. But if you have time consuming hobbies it might be easier, but again it depends on whether you can afford that.

A family member retired very young, in their 40's, and filled their time easily with hobbies. Twenty years later, they are very young and fresh and their hobby keeps them very fit. This person had a very stressful job and I suspect they may well have ended up with very poor health had they continued working in that job.

I love my job, I retrained into it in my early 30's and have never been happier. I cannot imagine wanting to just drop work and do nothing, though I would love to work fewer hours at the minute. Give it a lot of thought - might you like to retrain? Work fewer hours? You could always take some time out and see how it goes. Is it possible to request a period of unpaid leave/career break from your current job so you don't have to immediately cut all ties?

Good luck with it all

Assuming you work full time now I would actually consider cutting back to part time even if it's just 10 hours per week or similar.

Keep your NI payments going, help keep your identity, demonstrate to your DC that one need to work for a living, keep a routine, have a reason why you can't be on hand 24/7 for everyone else's needs.

If your income source is investments they could take a nose dive, there is rumour of negative interest rates in the future

You could completely change career with a part time job.

@JamminDoughnuts I don't know, you get all sorts of madness on here! I see now OP has an inheritance so is not unreasonable. I still think it would be wiser to save it for retirement later in life though but that's just my opinion.

Assuming you work full time now I would actually consider cutting back to part time even if it's just 10 hours per week or similar.

"I'm mid forties and considering coming out of my part time job completely."

This was the first line in the OP's first post ^^

@Twistered

Robyn trip what is your structure if you don't mind me asking?

Not at all. I get up early every week day morning 6.30 /7 no staying in bed. I see keeping my house as my job. I do housework in a rota, so everyday something different gets done.so I have the weekend 'free' I cook from scratch every day. Something I never had time to do before, found out I'm pretty good at it. I bake too. I make time in the day to do something for me only, swim, read catch up with an old neighbour /friends Hand on heart I thought I'd be bored shitless but it has opened up a whole new world and given me skills I never thought I'd have I think really hard about where I spend money now where as before I paid just for the convenience Good lunch in whatever you decide

@Ginfordinner I do apologise for forgetting all the details after spending quite some time reading through.

OP mentions leaving the rat race that implies her "part time" job isn't that part time but rather full on.

I used to work "part time" at 34 hours per week...

@RandomMess

Assuming you work full time now I would actually consider cutting back to part time even if it's just 10 hours per week or similar.

Keep your NI payments going, help keep your identity, demonstrate to your DC that one need to work for a living, keep a routine, have a reason why you can't be on hand 24/7 for everyone else's needs.

If your income source is investments they could take a nose dive, there is rumour of negative interest rates in the future

You could completely change career with a part time job.

i agree, to demonstrate to your dc that you are not at their beck and call

I really wouldn’t do this. No one knows what the future will hold. I’m now in a position where I can’t work because my physical health is poor, having CFS after pneumonia last year and long Covid this year. This is a consequent of MH issues (PTSD following childhood SA) and years of taking care of my two adopted DDs (11 and 8), with DD1 having SEN and serious attachment issues.

Thankfully, we can afford for me not to work, because my DH is on a good salary and, like you, I have an inheritance. (It doesn’t last as much as you might think, you need to bear that in mind.)

I never expected not to go back to work once my DDs were in school, and it really isn’t the life I wanted. I have done voluntary work with a close friend who runs a charity for Central Asian work, though that’s not happening now due to her own family circumstances.

Please take your time to decide; as has been said, it can be very difficult to get back to the world of work. If it really is what you want, and you can afford it, there are plenty of voluntary organisations who will welcome you with open arms. So I’m not saying it’s a bad idea in itself.

I would say be careful what you wish for.

I don’t currently work or volunteer, stopped a few years ago. DC are young school age. The first year of not working DC2 was still little and mostly at home. The second year we did a massive building project which I managed. The third year was hit by lockdown and home schooling.

So I’ve only had a few months of being off work with kids in school and no big project... and I’m already getting bored!

I go to the gym, meet friends for coffee, go on MN (too much...), do housework and cooking and family admin, finish off various house bits. It’s not enough to fill the day and I miss adult company (and that’s with a DH). I also don’t feel like a proper grown up without working, although that’s probably just my own prejudices.

I would love a part time job but in my field they don’t really exist. I think for many women part time is the ideal balance (not perfect but better than all or nothing) so in your shoes I would think very carefully about giving it up. Perhaps look for a different role elsewhere. With hindsight I wish I’d moved to a different job rather than stopping altogether.

I would also recommend you see an IFA if you haven’t already, to assess what income you can expect from your inheritance. It may be less than you think, especially if you want to keep some back to cover potential care fees later.

You do need to think about your pension, unless you have enough money for a comfortable life until you’re 90.

If not working means you’ll have to tighten your belts though, I’m assuming it isn’t huge amounts of money.

Would working part-time be feasible? You’ll then still have the option to go back to full-time work if you choose to do so, and have time to do other things.

I see keeping my house as my job. I do housework in a rota, so everyday something different gets done.so I have the weekend 'free'

Just how much housework needs doing?

We vac, wash floors and dust once a week as there are just two of us and no pets. This takes a max of two hours for a 4 bedroom house with 2 bathrooms. I keep on top of bathroom/loos every day but that is just a 5 minute job.

I think it's helpful to look at it in chunks. Take the next three years out, to raise children, see them off to university or whatever, depending on their ages.
Then think if you want to study, travel, move house?

I took two sizeable chunks of time out, to cope with caring for relatives, now back in part time work and contemplating a move.

Don't think of it as a one off decision that has to stand for 40 years, nothing is forever and it's too overwhelming to look at it that way.

It's an adventure and needs lots of planning. Enjoy the planning

Loads Ginfodinner more than two in our house and pets. Having lived in a shit hole for years, you had to wear wellies indoors, I enjoy keeping it clean, > something I thought I'd never say

My finances aren't what I asked advice about?????
They are relevant though. Your have to tighten your belt but does that mean cutting down from 3 foreign holidays to 2 in which case you might be able to fill your time with stuff that costs money - gym, paid for courses etc. Or it might mean 1 UK holiday down to a weekend camping in Wales in which case whatever you fill your time with needs to be free.

And whom else is financially responsible within your home also affects whether you need to try and keep work skills up because they can't/won't cover it all forever, or whether that isn't relevant because you can afford to live comfortably without ever working again

How about horse riding? But get a bigger horse than I rode in my dream last night

I wouldn't give up work unless 1) I knew I would never need to go back for financial reasons I wouldn't want to rely on state benefits or not have enough years of NI contributions. 2) I had a meaningful plan for the whole year of what to do.

So of the two people who have done this one has effectively been consumed by boredom claiming they loved it but really not having a focus because they lack the cash to do anything expensive. The other had a huge garden but was bankrolled by her partner who had a lot of money, so could spend all day working in that (just like a job) with some charity work done too. The second one would therefore effectively have a gardening job whose client was her husband.

You might want to look up the FIRE (financial independence retire eary) movement. The idea of stopping work seems very foreign to most, those communities are full of people filling their days with interesting pursuits and also a good place to look at ensuring you have enough money to fund your goals. Good luck

How old are your 3 teens? I wouldn’t give my job OP. Are you fed up?

I’ve felt fed up recently I can’t afford to give my job up though and I know I would be board.

Can you apply for a new role?

@user1471462115

Well, you need enough National Insurance contributions to claim benefits and also health care. Can you guarantee you will never need these ?

So you won’t break a leg, or get cancer or need a hysterectomy

Your husband won’t die and will leave you well enough off for the rest or your life, or worse, won’t run off with a younger model, or the crappie from the petrol station ?

Brexit is hugely changing who gets these things in thE U.K. Look it up.

I would never put myself in a position to lose the entitlement to the welfare state so would on,y do this if I had the Euro millions winnings in my bank account.......

I understand that you need NI contributions to claim benefits. I had no idea that not paying NI means no access to health care, I'm not currently paying NI but the GP/ hospital has never mentioned it.

Its not very wise to consider leaving work altogether. If you need to go back to work 10 years down the line you are going to have to explain away this gap so unless you intend to use transferable skills in some way then you may find it difficult securing another role in the future.

Also I dont think this is showing your teens a good example at all. What happens when they are 40 and decide they too are "done with work" I doubt they will have this option.

Why cant you go part time to enjoy a better work life balance? If you are asking on here what to do with your time then you obviously dont have a plan so leaving work altogether seems like a step too far. If you go part time with a few full days off a week you can explore how you feel and decide how to spend your time without closing the door to your job fully

@Cheeseandlobster OP currently works part time.