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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Coming out of work

162 replies

Twistered · 10/10/2020 16:46

I'm mid forties and considering coming out of my part time job completely. Financially we will be ok if we tighten the belts a little. I am just done with working and want to focus on my family even though my children are teenagers now. What else would I do though? Those who don't work can you give me some suggestions how things go without the routine of a job?

OP posts:
WhereverIGoddamnLike · 10/10/2020 22:50

Have you got enough money for the next 40 years? State pension is a joke tbh, so have you got a private and/or company pension to supplement your savings?

If so, then there's no reason to keep working in a job you're fed up with. Fill your time with things you enjoy.

Take up art, writing, an instrument. Join your local rotary club or seminal and join in with activities and initiatives to hope your community. Read every book you've ever wanted to read.

If you will be comfortable for the remainder of your life without working then stop working and do what makes you happy.

Offredismysister · 10/10/2020 22:52

If I could afford to stop work I’d cook/bake from scratch everyday, get a small dog to walk & get fresh air everyday. I’d start running, read lots & probably volunteer for Age UK or walk dogs for a local rescue kennel. I’d also learn a new skill like a new language or to play an instrument. And in winter I’d watch lots of tv & favourite films with the fire on.

Intelinside57 · 10/10/2020 22:52

Op - if you can truly afford to give up work now, and you really will be fine for the rest of your life, then do it. I retired at 50 and it's the best thing I ever did. A little bit less money of course, but so worth it. I did choose to take on some really flexible self-employed work a couple of years after retiring, but it's not onerous and gives a bit of extra money for holidays.

WhereverIGoddamnLike · 10/10/2020 22:56

*rotary club or similar

CherryPieface · 10/10/2020 22:56

My in laws retired at 50 and have done nothing since. They seemed to age in an accelerated way, I can’t really describe it, but they just became old before their time. They would say things like, I can’t hike that hill, I’m too old and they were only 62.

I worked with older people in my office at the time and they just seemed so much younger and positive. So I wouldn’t withdraw from working completely, I’d still do something, even if it’s just volunteering somewhere. I think mixing with different people that you’d not normally meet is important. Having said that, I can’t wait to stop working! Good luck OP x

WhereverIGoddamnLike · 10/10/2020 22:58

I really dont understand the initial replies. What is wrong with stopping work if you csn afford it?

Was it the belt tightening comment that rubbed people the wrong way? Because most people wuo retire, whatever age, will alter their spending just to make sure they've got a wee buffer for emergencies.

There really iant anything wrong with early retirement, even if it means a slight adjustment in lifestyle. If you're happy with it, you're fine.

Original poster
Twistered · 10/10/2020 23:00

Cherryieface I'm saying I'm too old to hike that hill now in my forties!

OP posts:
ShebaShimmyShake · 10/10/2020 23:01

So you can support yourself because of an inheritance? Is it invested in such a way to give you enough passive income to live on?

It's hard to answer the question without knowing how you can support your family. The assumptions about a husband were reasonable; not many people can just give up work when they're the only adult in the house. Are your kids likely to go to tertiary education?

Frappuccinofan · 10/10/2020 23:04

I think it would be hard, however I’m in my 20s with no dependents so won’t share the same reasons that you have for wanting a break

Whilst I am employed, I have been working from home most of the year and I almost feel unemployed. I hate not having a proper routine, going out every day, actually socialising with people who I don’t live with etc. The novelty of being home all the time has certainly worn off and I feel a bit stir crazy. I miss having a separate work and personal life.

shrill · 10/10/2020 23:05

I don't think you will regret it unless you end up volunteering so mu h that it's like working full time , very easy to find yourself doing more and more and taking on more responsibility to help keep vital/community things going. Volunteering or meeting friends or, in normal times, joining groups quickly gives you a routine. If routine is what you feel you might miss it's very easy to create your own buthis time routine that suits your new lifestyle.

BadDucks · 10/10/2020 23:08

Life when you’re not working is really sodding boring if you haven’t got much money. So honestly without knowing what your finances are and what sort of things you’d like to do it hard to say what life would look like.
I loved my time as a SAHM when the kids were little but a big factor in that is all my friends were at home too so it was very social. Now we all work and I know when I am off in the school holidays it’s quite dull as no one else is about to meet up and socialise like we used to. The kids are teens and they sleep all morning and have their own plans and friends.
How do you think you would like to fill your time?

Ginfordinner · 10/10/2020 23:10

Do you hate your job?

Original poster
Twistered · 10/10/2020 23:10

Frappicinofan you've hit the nail on the head there. Getting out everyday, novelty wearing off etc. Those are my worries but surely I can find plenty to fill my days? Maybe it's wishful thinking wanting to step out of the rat race

OP posts:
Original poster
Twistered · 10/10/2020 23:12

Bad ducks I don't know why but the brutality of your honesty has made me laugh Grin

OP posts:
Shizzlestix · 10/10/2020 23:18

I could definitely give up work and be fully occupied. However, even with an inheritance, in my 40s, I couldn’t live the way I wanted with no salary coming in. I might live to 100, with 3 dc, I’d want to be able to shore them up if needed. Unless I won the lottery, I’d still need an income and I won’t deliberately go on benefits if I absolutely don’t need to. Do you have 100s of thousands, OP?

Shizzlestix · 10/10/2020 23:21

PS: having animals takes up a great deal of time if you’re that way inclined, or flipping houses. There’s a ton of stuff you could do, but you have to consider that your inheritance is finite, unless you have an awful lot.

BadDucks · 10/10/2020 23:23

Perhaps a little more too the point than I meant to be BlushGrin

I do think there is a bit of a grass is greener with these things though. That said you might be far better at filling your time than I am!

BadDucks · 10/10/2020 23:29

If you can afford to not work then maybe you can afford to change to a slower paced job or set up your own side hustle where you set your hours?

Ideasplease322 · 10/10/2020 23:29

Finances are relevant in terms of the lifestyle you will have if you aren’t earning.

I would love to stop working, it’s stressful and exhausting.

Routine would really depend on your lifestyle and hobbies - I assume up early to get kids to school. Then exercise class, take dog for a walk?

Do you have friends who are around during The day? Are you interested in learning a new skill, taking some classes, volunteering?

Do you have a cleaner/ housekeeper, or will some time need to be spend on housework?

The days could get quite long, but perhaps a stay at home mum or dad could gove more insight than a career driven spinster like me!!

Good luck - I am very jealous (I think).

LizB62A · 10/10/2020 23:31

How would you feel if your husband decided that he was "done with working" ?

If your children are teenagers, why not get a full-time job when you can (subject to Covid 19 decimating the economy of course) so that you can contribute more to the household finances and maybe then your husband can retire a bit sooner than currently planned and you can retire then too ?

BadDucks · 10/10/2020 23:34

Might wanna read the whole thread Lizzy

Ideasplease322 · 10/10/2020 23:36

If you are independently wealthy, Would one of Those expensive, all consuming, hobbies work for you? Sailing or horse riding? Even golf😂

Joining a golf or sailing club would fill a lot of time, lots of trips away etc. Even a running club (although usually no club hOuse to call into during the week).

Once the kids are over 18 you will be able to travel loads (hopefully) and planning trips takes up time (my parents have dedicated their retirement to it.

If I stopped work to tomorrow with plenty of money in the bank I would but an old beautiful falling down house and renovate it room by room.

ZoeTurtle · 10/10/2020 23:42

How on earth could this payout be enough to support you for the next 40+ years?

Someone1987 · 10/10/2020 23:42

What do you want to do, be a housewife?
If my parent stopped working (esp when only part time) to focus on me as a teenager, I'd be horrified. I'm trying to gain independence, not lose it.

Quandaries · 10/10/2020 23:43

If your inherited wealth isn’t of the level that you’re completely comfortable (is, the choice is work part time or tighten belts), surely your priority over the coming years is to work to support your children through higher education?