Coming out of work

[Twistered]

I'm mid forties and considering coming out of my part time job completely. Financially we will be ok if we tighten the belts a little. I am just done with working and want to focus on my family even though my children are teenagers now. What else would I do though? Those who don't work can you give me some suggestions how things go without the routine of a job?

@Twistered - no! Haha. Fair enough, do what makes you happy x

@ZoeTurtle

How on earth could this payout be enough to support you for the next 40+ years?

If by payout OP means inheritance, then it could be in the millions for all we know.

It would probably need to be close to a million quid to support OP for the rest of her live, and put her children through university

I did it at 40; left a full time job and moved abroad with ds to follow dh. I'd gone back to work when ds was 6 months old, and left when ds was going into Year 6. Dh was going to be abroad for longer than anticipated (we had already done two years with him abroad), and I thought I was going for 4 years. I ended up doing 7 fist time round, and just under 6 the second time.

I volunteered, and had structure that way. I did things like bookgroup, helping at school, and did things three days a week, so had two 'me' days at home.

I found (as a secondary teacher) that ds needed me more from Year 6-11 than he did previously. It worked for us.

You said you want to focus on family. So there's your answer. Can you write a list of things you can be doing to benefit your family ? Things like making healthy meals, baking, keeping the house clean and organised, helping with homework or running errands for family members. All this is a great service to your family.

I was a SAHM for 7 years. I took a redundancy payment from my job which was used to fund a house purchase so money was fairly tight.

I joined my local libary, went on daily walks around my locality and spent a lot of time doing housework!

My house was tidy & organised.

I was time rich & cash poor if that makes sense.

I now work part time and at times feel stretched, however I find Im more efficient with my time I can get a lot more done in my day off when kids are in school as I know Ive only got a limited amount of time.

There are pros and cons to every life situation, however for me I prefer working part time. I like the social aspect & having an income.

My mum gave up working when she was 49 and I was a teenager. She had worked so hard raising 3 kids (although she had my dad around) and working full time for most of her life.

Honestly, I was an older teen but it was so lovely to have her around more, to have her calmer, and to get to know her better before I left for university. She also had more time for her own mother, which is time I know she thinks of as precious.

So I think if you can do it, why not?

One thing I would advise though is to try and find a routine and sustainable hobbies that stimulate you straight away...I think my mum slowed down a little too much as she didn't do these things.

And if you realise it isn't for you, I'm sure you can find another post in the future.

Good luck and ignore all the negativity..💪

If you're financially set up, and you hate working, then why not think of it as taking a break, rather than stopping work entirely.

You don't KNOW how you will feel in a year's time, or two years time, etc.

If your DC are in their teens, I guess you will have a few more years before they start leaving home - I can fully understand you wanting to focus on them if you don't HAVE to work.

For a start, their lives will be our routine I guess. Getting up with them, taking them to school, to sports activities etc. It will certainly make the school holidays easier and more fun - as teenagers there aren't the same clubs and activities available as they don't need childcare, as such.

Perhaps you would consider doing some studies - if you could afford it financially? You would then have the same holidays as them, roughly speaking. You can use your day time to study. Then when they do leave home (or grow up but still live at home!), you could work in a different field that you might enjoy more.

Sorry for your loss, OP.

"focus more on family" - what are the things you feel/think you want to do more of that you can't do now because of your work? What do you see yourself doing every day? Will you have milestones that you work towards? What will give you a sense of purpose? Community? Challebge/growth?

Reading between the lines you're really not enjoying your job - you talk about 'the rat race' - is there any way of improving thay situation? Is there an opportunity to take a sabbatical to try out the way of life you're envisaging?

People have asked about/commented on your financial situation because you'd have to be seriously financially secure to give up work in your 40s with 3 teenagers and an economic depression on the horizon. So it's definitely relevant and would have a real bearing on your enjoyment of not working if it's not secure enough. Eg would you buy an annuity/ how variable would your income be? What if your children couldn't get jobs to support themselves at 18/21?

gardening, decorating, volunteering, arts and crafts

whatever rocks your boat.

I have had a couple of months where I've no wage because I've just started a new job. I hate feeling like I have to ask for money. My husband is awesome and just gives what I ask for (we try not to touch the savings)…but I can't wait to be able to buy with my own money again.

Could you take a career break for a year and see how that goes? Rather than jack it all in?

I would be concerned that as your children are teenagers they are going to only get more expensive - driving lessons, university etc.

i think a job/career/ change would be better op.

What about your partner?
How secure is his job?
What hours does he work? Could he cut them/ get a better work-life balance if you continue to work part time.
How will he cope with the pressure of being the sole earner?
What are you plans for retirement?

Personally I think its quite selfish & makes you financially vulnerable but it's up to you as a couple.

@LeanishMachine

It's not unreasonable for people to wonder how you're planning to live, especially when you have mentioned having to tighten belts yourself. And you still haven't answered that.

Exactly this. Maybe you should have been a little clearer in your opening post op.

You've been quite snippy with people OP.

You didn't mention how you're going to support yourself for the next 40+ years so it's only natural for people to wonder. It's also not hugely "out there" to assume you have a husband or partner when your post refers to you "having to tighten to your belts".

Nobody can say what your lifestyle will be like if they don't know your income and outgoings, or your current lifestyle.

Just read your update OP. What are you intending to live off? State benefits? If so YABU when you're capable of working. If you have savings to live off then fine but wouldn't you be better leaving that for the future when you are actually unable to work?

do you honestly think someone planning to give up work in their 40s to go on benefits would post for advice on here?

of course not

quite often i would only like to work when it is raining, when the sun shines i dont want to be at work, but that's life, for me

Ihatedolphins ..... That is so lovely to hear! Thank you.

Lots of food for thought thanks everyone x

Thecatsmother

I volunteered, and had structure that way. I did things like bookgroup, helping at school, and did things three days a week, so had two 'me' days at home.

_

Sounds great!

What else would I do though?
What is sad is that you actually need to ask this.

I certainly would have to ask for suggestions of what to do with my time if I had the luxury of stopping work and have no dependents to look after.

I love life too much, sporting activities, painting, cooking, volunteering, traveling, walking, going to the theatre and exhibitions, meeting new people, getting involved with charities.

So many things to do but for that you need to actually have an inquisitive mind. I see more and more retired people who are just bored because ultimately they can't get interested in anything. This is so sad.

Hopefully that won't be you, but having to ask how to keep entertained is it a great start.

I feel like a saddo asking it !
I've 3 teenagers, dogs, and look out for two elderly relatives. Guess I'm kind of conditioned to think we all have to have a job no matter what.

This is my constant daydream. A lottery win usually funds it. I am sorry In this case it’s the loss of your Parents.

I suggests sailing or golf or horse riding.

Really I was getting at an activity with a social element. Volunteering would provide this too. It’s tough at the moment due to social distancing so it might be lonely at the minute.

In my lottery winning fantasy I take a month to rest, before buying the old house. Then days are consumed with arranging builders and interior decorating etc. It gets a bit fuzzy once the house is finished. Reading and gardening and having nice lunches with whoever free. Maybe a dap to walk.

I gave up full time work at 46 to start on a second degree, mostly for interest but it will also benefit my finance background.
I thought of it more as a career break before starting something new.
The summer just gone was so long and boring! So full time retirement won't work for me. But a couple of part time roles would be fine (non exec director level for example)
So maybe consider a degree?

You’ll still need many more years of NI contributions.

Ii don't work or volunteer for anything and I can honestly say it's the best time of my life. The house is calmer, tidier and less stressed. I'm happy in my own skin.
I think having structure is the key