@Scaraffito
I think it's pretty rare now to have NO assets to split. People may not have much but most at least have a car.
I agree that the other extreme of thinking it "sets you up for life" is also of course unrealistic.
But I do think that it makes thing easier in the immediate instance of split/critical illness/death for people
In particular critical illness, it's much easier to be recognised as acting for your spouse (medically, legally, financially) than it is as a partner.
@MsTSwift I've noticed as someone who doesn't and likely never will own my home, there's a lot of home owners and/or women in mortgaged rather than rented homes who don't even know their status re tenants in common etc and don't understand the differences
@Nicknamegoeshere while amusing you're missing the point, if you're not married to your partner and don't have a will or anything he may not get to oversee your funeral.
I am financially independent, have a better paid job than my partner and don’t need any of the current protections afforded by marriage.
Well you are in the position most men are in, you may not think you need the protections but what about the partner you are supposed to love and care for and the children? Life can turn on you, unexpected critical illness, serious accidents and premature death can happen to pretty much anyone - what position would your partner and children be in if you were to become critically ill or die?
What if your oh were to die young and unexpectedly? You wouldn’t necessarily want or feel able to continue working full time while grieving and supporting grieving children.
I think getting married after years and children is better than not getting married at all, although I don’t understand why people have children before the protection of marriage agree with this
Well I have been married and now I'm cohabiting and I can guarantee that my DP is more of a true partnership and committed relationship than my marriage was. surely you know, having been through a divorce, that you don’t really know a person until you split from them? While things are ticking along nicely I can understand it feeling “better” but in the event of a split people can do a total change in their treatment of you and marriage limits the damage they can do to a degree.
@AutumnGoldLeaf - see it particularly a lot in celebrity relationships, but it very much happens in “real life” too, they’re in a co-habiting relationship with someone for many years but don’t marry, then they split and quickly marry the new person. The first person was in their mind a “placeholder” which is a shitty way to treat someone. A “mr/miss right for now - but not forever”. Men in particular do that horrible thing of being with a woman, co-habiting but saying they’re against marriage AND Kids, wasting the woman’s fertile years then sodding off with a younger model and marrying and having kids very quickly with them.
Often, the one who doesn't think it is important is the one who simply doesn't love the other enough. They generally think it is important when the right one comes along and that is as old as the hills.
Exactly!
I’ve met/known of SO many couples in real life where one (usually the woman) claims to be “not fussed” about marriage when the truth is the other (usually the man) is the one that doesn’t want to marry, usually for selfish reasons like not wanting to protect the more vulnerable party and the children.
I’ve been flamed on here for saying if a man hasn’t proposed (genuinely not lip service “getting engaged but never actually sorting getting married” to silence the woman) within 3 years then he’s unlikely to marry, and probably isn’t fully committed to the relationship. That view is formed from many years of experience, both personal and witnessed/told about.
I know one couple have been “engaged” for 15 years! He clearly has no intention of marrying and won’t even be open about finances. Meanwhile they’ve kids and she has at points been sahm and now working part time to facilitate his career and him building up assets.
That was rather my point, marriage is an important commitment but it doesn't guarantee a successful relationship I don’t think anyone has suggested it does? If anything this thread has been more about the protections provided if it’s not successful
That said statistically married couples stay together longer and are less likely to split than co-habiting ones but there are all sorts of reasons for that.
weddings are Expensive weddings can be BUT don’t have to be expensive, getting married needn’t be expensive at all. Most places in the Uk it’s possible for around £150 if you stick to the formalities