To be really angry that seeing my parents is illegal?

[Snailsetssail]

My area is very likely to be locked down next week. I am so furious that it’s going to be against the law for me to see my parents, and my children to see their grandparents. We did lockdown properly last time, it was absolutely awful. My mental health plummeted and I don’t think I can do it again. I rely on support from family and friends.

Just feeling so incredibly angry about it all tonight. Poor people in Leicester have lived like this for 100 days so far with no end in site.

I’m so fed up and I know I’m going to be told to just get on it it. But I just need a space to vent.

Not much point being angry. It is what it is, nothing to be done about it

wanderings

This is eerie but you sound just like my dh, except you can see the tide turning and when I mentioned this to him before, he can't see it.
People aren't being fooled now, only those that will never see it.

I'm missing my gc so much

Me too Devlesko. It's one of the worst things about it all. I was absolutely devastated in March when I couldnt see them

That’s the Q really isn’t it.....will you accept some inconvenience and disappointment for yourself in order to protect someone you don’t know.
Thing is we've all already accepted 'inconvenience and disappointment' (a pretty flippant way to describe job losses, deaths of loved ones who couldn't get access to medical treatment and who died alone, deterioration of mental health, increase in spousal abuse, imo) during the full lockdown between March and July.
IT CLEARLY DIDN'T WORK.

Yes @zigaziga it’s this exactly.

Sad fact of life is that people die and some very elderly people might eventually die of something they caught from somebody else - a relative or a care worker or even out at a restaurant. The cause could be a strong bought of flu, a virulent norovirus or even a heavy coronavirus cold. Now there is a new coronavirus that could mean they die of Covid 19. I’m not saying for one moment that people shouldn’t care about the possibility of infecting someone vulnerable with any one of these infectious illnesses nor that they should do their very best to avoid passing anything like that to someone vulnerable. BUT I am suggesting that we have lived countless years as human beings, harbouring such Illnesses and have never before removed an individual’s basic human right to go where they please, with who they please and whenever they please. Yes there is a global pandemic but you could argue that there is a global level of flu every year, dangerous to similar numbers of people for which only some vaccines are effective.
This virus is a virus that most people infected need a test for to find out if they even have it. It has an average age of death above the average life span of both men and woman in the UK and is something like the 24th cause of death currently in the UK. It’s time to end the whole lot of these restrictions and for the government to get out of our private lives and let us decide our own life risks.

zigaziga I’m not saying life should be “as normal” and I will accept certain restrictions to protect the NHS but cutting out all unnecessary human contact seems madness.

I'd say they're actually cutting out necessary human contact.

Lostinacloud

But it isn't about people dying or who is dying or how old they are. There is no way sure way of stopping people dying of covid.

The lockdowns are to prevent the NHS, and other services, being overwhelmed all at once in a short space of time.

Why do so many people not seem to understand this?

A rule preventing people from socialising in private residences is unenforceable OP. I'm in GM, so we've had over two months of this. The only cases I know of where there's been any enforcement at all is when people are taking the piss with dozens in their house, and the neighbours probably shopped them because of the noise.

We’ve been on local lockdown since the start of august. No one is sticking to it 🤷🏻‍♀️

Flax
We've sneaked a quick visit, a couple of times, hope to go this weekend, but daren't chance it too much with their neighbours, I know they'd report if they saw us step foot on their property. I can't afford huge fines and they are making examples of people round here atm.

I’ve got an elderly, recently widowed mum with poor eyesight. She lives in Greater Manchester and I live 100 miles away. We’ve been following the rules as much as we can. I’ve visited a few times when it was clearly allowed and I organise online shopping and have power of attorney to manage her utilities and she has excellent neighbours who keep an eye on her and call me if they’re worried about her.

Mum isn’t worried about being lonely, hard as it is. She’s scared about getting ill and being in an overburdened busy hospital alone and dying a slow horrible death without me being there holding her hand. For her sake (and my MIL) DH and I live a very low risk life so that if needed, we could go and stay with our respective mums if they needed more care without putting them at risk.

As it is, mum’s probably more of a risk to me given she has far more interaction with strangers getting taxis to the post office and the hairdressers and the doctors/pharmacy. And I live in a lower risk area, wfh and go to the shops once a week.

My nan is 92.shes always been in good health and very independent. She has only left the house a couple of times since march. From sitting around doing nothing, she has lost a huge amount of weight, and also muscle strength. She has now become unsteady on her feet and is scared to go out. She is depressed and, lonely and not eating. I would be surprised if she sees the end of the year the rate she is going.
My mum's elderly cousin is in a care home. They've just had their first case. She says she isn't scared of death as they are not living a life at the moment. People have had enough, including the elderly themselves. People are going to start taking more risks. The government will then need to impose stricter measures, causing a viscious circle of bad feeling between the government and the public. It doesn't help that members of the government have not /are not following their own rules!!

@JenniferSantoro and not visiting your parents or grandparents and thinking you're saving their life is all well until they die from another cause and you have to spend the rest of your life living with not seeing them and have them be isolated and alone for their last few months

@Mumsnut

My most vivid memory of the early days of lockdown was seeing photos, every day, of doctors, nurses, care workers, and hospital porters who had died of Covid. Most of them in their middle years , some with young children.

Mine is seeing nurses dancing on TikTok.

@Devlesko

Flax We've sneaked a quick visit, a couple of times, hope to go this weekend, but daren't chance it too much with their neighbours, I know they'd report if they saw us step foot on their property. I can't afford huge fines and they are making examples of people round here atm.

Which is so counterproductive. Because if you're worried about being grassed up, you have more of an incentive to meet in the house instead of the garden, minimise the amount of time you're visible breaking the rules. Whereas if you know your neighbours aren't into touting, you can just sit outdoors where it's safer.

Not sure how they are going to fund the National Covid Service when unemployment is going to hit 20% in the upcoming Great Depression.

I think it's imposing stricter rules in the north that has made people take more risks.
If the rules made sense more people would have followed them, or happy to continue for the greater good, myself included.
But when they are rules for the sake of it and don't make sense, only a fool would follow them.
I have no problem social distancing and wearing a mask, I haven't been to a pub, cafe or any other public place apart from town centre and supermarket shopping. I'm sure with the lack of social distancing i experienced there would be more likelihood of catching corona than visiting my family who are wfh and mat leave.

@Flaxmeadow but lockdowns don’t work to prevent the NHS overloading. Yes maybe for the odd few weeks or months the hospitals aren’t all busy with Covid 19 patients but meanwhile, many people die of other causes not able to access adequate healthcare and thousands of other people have conditions that worsen or still need treatment which is delayed and which will inevitably result in a far greater overwhelming situation in hospitals as they all struggle to cope with the backlog along with all the other usual winter illness influx. Add into that a massive increase in people seeking help for mental health problems caused by lockdown that won’t be met, illnesses induced by stressed individuals who have lost their businesses, their jobs or their homes due to all the restrictions and these lockdowns will do more harm than good. The government would better spend their money protecting the vulnerable investing in dedicated healthcare facilities and letting the rest of society, who will have mild to no symptoms at all, get on with their lives and with supporting themselves and the economy.
The balance has now tipped to the wrong side of the scale and these restrictions have more of a negative impact than a positive. That’s what I understand.

So an elderly, recently widowed woman. She is expected to stay in, by herself, with no human contact whatsoever, no we cannot Zoom her, we cannot telephone her. Potentially it could be months, no end in sight
Personally if my elderly parent was that vulnerable and lovely, they would have moved with me as soon as it was possible however cramped that meant to be.

But when they are rules for the sake of it and don't make sense, only a fool would follow them
Unless the fool is the person who refuses to understand them because it doesn't benefit them and their family and don't care about others.

The rules are NOT for the sake of it and they DO make sense...on a population level.
Just because you don't understand something, that doesn't mean they don';t make sense.

[quote JKRowlingIsMyQueen]@JenniferSantoro and not visiting your parents or grandparents and thinking you're saving their life is all well until they die from another cause and you have to spend the rest of your life living with not seeing them and have them be isolated and alone for their last few months[/quote]
The point is it’s not just about our own parents, it’s about everyone that we come into contact with. That’s what’s so fucking selfish about going about your business like we’re not in the middle of a pandemic.
If you want to risk infecting your own parents that’s up to you, but have a thought for others, not just your own selfish petulant needs.

@dontdisturbmenow don't you believe that the elderly have the right to continue living in their own familiar home? At what point do you think other people will have the right to tell you where you can and can't live?

There are a lot of people in local lockdown areas continuing to significantly curtail their activities, including opting out of things that are not only legal but have been encouraged, in order to keep safely seeing loved ones on private property.

Personally if my elderly parent was that vulnerable and lovely, they would have moved with me as soon as it was possible however cramped that meant to be. I thought that. If my mum was still alive she'd be with me and she'd been as keen on that as I would.

I think it is all very well people making statements about elderly people not being afraid of death, it's the dying that is the problem. I know my DIL (doctor who worked on a covid ward) and her colleagues have been traumatised by what they have been through. It isn't a question of granny gently slipping away.