To be really angry that seeing my parents is illegal?

[Snailsetssail]

My area is very likely to be locked down next week. I am so furious that it’s going to be against the law for me to see my parents, and my children to see their grandparents. We did lockdown properly last time, it was absolutely awful. My mental health plummeted and I don’t think I can do it again. I rely on support from family and friends.

Just feeling so incredibly angry about it all tonight. Poor people in Leicester have lived like this for 100 days so far with no end in site.

I’m so fed up and I know I’m going to be told to just get on it it. But I just need a space to vent.

I dread to think of the lasting damage to our children
Not as permanent as not getting treatment for a lifesaving procedure they might need but won't because the hospitals are overwhelmed, doctors sick themselves, no beds available. I bet that would come with another big moan about our kids being let down.

The only pleasure she has in life is visits from family and a zoom call doesn't cut it
Has she tried it? Her husband could help set it up. She is not even alone.

My parents never did zoom before either and were not keen on it until I insisted. They now call regularly and say they like the flexibiity if it. They miss us of course, but remain positive that if we all behave responsibly rather than selfishly, we will get to see each other, with few risks sometime in the next year.

@ToffeePennie

YANBU. It’s horrifying to watch our economy collapse, the collective mental health of our society plummet and I dread to think of the lasting damage to our children. I’m with you OP, it looks like there is no end in sight and the government policy is laughable to say the least. Look at Sweden, where there has been no lockdowns, much fewer cases and a much higher recovery rate. And then compare that to say Spain and you will see repeated, rolling lockdowns and local lockdowns don’t seem to work.

Cases are on the up in Sweden, it hasn't managed herd immunity yet. Also the way that older people were treated (or not as the case may be) was not good. There are no easy answers to this pandemic, whatever a country does will cause suffering in some way.

@Flaxmeadow

OperationallySound To those who say that lockdown didn't work, how would they explain the immense drop in cases as soon as lockdown was implemented? That's happened in every country that has locked down.... Lockdown was never about making the virus go away, it was about spreading the load (or flattening the curve if you prefer) on health services so they didn't become completely overwhelmed. Look what happened now lockdown has been eased

Exactly this!

To those saying they will not abide by the lockdown rules. Will you give up your right to access the NHS, the social services, the police?

Services that will soon be at risk of being overwhelmed if people do not follow the rules

A large hospital (BRI) in West Yorkshire is now becoming so busy with high numbers of covid patients, that it is already telling people to stay away, unless urgent

Because full lockdown was were nobody went to work, school and was allowed one hour exercise.

Which can not happen again.

Local restrictions do not work as people still have to go to work, school, are allowed to play sports, go to pubs, restaurants.

@Everywherethatmarywent, or just believing that it will get better IF we all act responsibly. Say, we live 8n a society where people think their needs are much higher than anyone else, gave it harder, are suffering more and it's therefore ok to ignore public health for the benefit of their own needs.

My DM and my MIL have both found it hard not seeing their family members during the lockdown, but they didn't complain. Now they're content to social distance in order to keep themselves safe. They're 81 and 80 respectively, and are prepared to miss out on hugs precisely because they want to go on living.

Not all grandparents would rather die than forego hugs from family l members. Some eighty year olds want to go on living and also don't want to put other people at risk.

It's very different if you're also carers to your elderly parents/grandparents, however, and I'm sure that it will continue to be within the rules for you to visit them, as it was during the nationwide lockdown.

@dontdisturbmenow - you mean like the little girl in my sons class who has now had her potentially lifesaving cancer operation cancelled 3 time’s because “we need the beds in case of covid”
They’ve shut down the women and children’s section of my local hospital and turned it into a COVID Ward. Several other school mums work there and they claim they’ve never needed the beds. Not even in the earliest part of lockdown.
So yes the lasting impact on children’s physical and mental health is something I’m concerned about.

Serious question to those bleating. What is the solution? OBVIOUSLY cases will increase after a lockdown. Do you just want to keep locking down forever??

flaxmeadow as far as I know no one is saying that lockdown measures don’t cause infections to slow down. What people are saying is that, unless you get the infections down to zero during a lockdown, lockdown is only ever pressing ‘pause’. As soon as you relax restrictions rates go straight back up again and will continue to do so until there is a vaccine. At the moment there is no sign of a vaccine being ready and people simply can’t stay locked down forever. At some point you have to balance the damage lockdown is doing to the economy, to mental health, to education etc with the damage CV is doing to people’s health and the NHS.

I don’t know what the answer is. But, from my POV at least, the government doesn’t know any better either so I’m not going to follow the rules that they are enforcing and not following themselves. I am doing what I think is best for me and my family in exactly the same way the government is doing what is best for themselves.

To those bleating about needing a lockdown*

@borntohula I can only think that those who want to keep locking down do so because they have comfortable homes, jobs which they can do from home, in home childcare or jobs which mean they will be furloughed at 100% to take care of their children, they don’t have sick or elderly relatives and have an “I’m all right jack” mentality.

@ToffeePennie

YANBU. It’s horrifying to watch our economy collapse, the collective mental health of our society plummet and I dread to think of the lasting damage to our children. I’m with you OP, it looks like there is no end in sight and the government policy is laughable to say the least. Look at Sweden, where there has been no lockdowns, much fewer cases and a much higher recovery rate. And then compare that to say Spain and you will see repeated, rolling lockdowns and local lockdowns don’t seem to work.

This!

I live in an area where Covid is virtually unheard of. However, I am also reasonably close to 2 large cities which are classed as "Areas of concern".

Ordinarily wouldn't bother me at all but we have an adult dd who has SLD and lives in supported living so, if lockdown is brought in again, we won't be able to visit dd as the centre understandably wouldn't allow it.
DD would find it incredibly difficult and distressing to go weeks on end again without having any contact. (She couldn't cope with FaceTime, phone calls etc.). We went 16 weeks from early March to end of July without having any contact at all. The worst 16 weeks of my life without a doubt. 😢

@Frappuccinofan

There you go .... hence Leicester has a problem and continues to need a lockdown

What is so traumatic about not seeing a parent for weeks when doing so is protecting them? I don't get it. I find all the angst about not being able to hug harder to understand.

borntohula
Serious question to those bleating. What is the solution? OBVIOUSLY cases will increase after a lockdown. Do you just want to keep locking down forever??

As we were told in March about the seriousness if this global crisis, unfortunately there is no end in sight yet to on/off lockdowns
Do you understand this?

@AranciaRosso - are you for real?

@dontdisturbmenow

What is so traumatic about not seeing a parent for weeks when doing so is protecting them? I don't get it.

My parents moved abroad and so haven't see them for over 14 months now. They have both been diagnosed with medical conditions that are life threatening in that period of time, I couldn't imagine risking their lives because I miss them especially when we are so fortunate to nowadays be able to communicate and each other virtually.

I can't help but wonder whether those who are taking it so badly are that upset because they don't get babysitting and help for their kids any longer, ie a selfish reason.

My dad died just before lockdown. My mother is elderly, they'd been married for 60 years, she now lives by herself. She's deaf and can't communicate by telephone, she has sight issues too. Through lockdown she stayed by herself in her house, we waved through a window and left groceries in her porch.

There are no childcare issues in our family.

My mother cannot meet her friends, she can't have days out. She can't go to the library, or church, or any of her social clubs.

So an elderly, recently widowed woman. She is expected to stay in, by herself, with no human contact whatsoever, no we cannot Zoom her, we cannot telephone her. Potentially it could be months, no end in sight.
You truly honestly think that is not traumatic? That it is not cruel?

There's a reason solitary confinement is used as a punishment.
They can put me, and my mother, in prison.

[quote ToffeePennie]@borntohula I can only think that those who want to keep locking down do so because they have comfortable homes, jobs which they can do from home, in home childcare or jobs which mean they will be furloughed at 100% to take care of their children, they don’t have sick or elderly relatives and have an “I’m all right jack” mentality.[/quote]
Absolutely!

SadiePurple your poor mum

@Flaxmeadow

borntohula Serious question to those bleating. What is the solution? OBVIOUSLY cases will increase after a lockdown. Do you just want to keep locking down forever??

As we were told in March about the seriousness if this global crisis, unfortunately there is no end in sight yet to on/off lockdowns
Do you understand this?

Do you understand that there is more to most people's lives than Covid? If you think they will accept repeatedly locking down, you are deluded. Some of us have jobs in hospitality, parents with cancer, children who rely on the routine of school. Get your head out of your arse.

[quote ToffeePennie]@borntohula I can only think that those who want to keep locking down do so because they have comfortable homes, jobs which they can do from home, in home childcare or jobs which mean they will be furloughed at 100% to take care of their children, they don’t have sick or elderly relatives and have an “I’m all right jack” mentality.[/quote]
Absolutely.

FeckOffCup1

flaxmeadow as far as I know no one is saying that lockdown measures don’t cause infections to slow down. What people are saying is that, unless you get the infections down to zero during a lockdown, lockdown is only ever pressing ‘pause’.

Lockdown is slowing the virus spread. So that the services can cope

As soon as you relax restrictions rates go straight back up again and will continue to do so until there is a vaccine.

The point of easing lockdowns for a while is to help the economy and test the waters to see what happens. It's a balance between health and the economy

At the moment there is no sign of a vaccine being ready and people simply can’t stay locked down forever.

This is why we heavy lockdown and light lockdown. Rolling lockdowns for however long it takes because unfortunately at the moment, this is thebonly way to deal with it. We were told this right from the start. Not just in the UK but across the world

At some point you have to balance the damage lockdown is doing to the economy, to mental health, to education etc with the damage CV is doing to people’s health and the NHS.

Peoples physical and mental health would also suffer if the services collapse under the strain of too many with covid requiring services

I don’t know what the answer is. But, from my POV at least, the government doesn’t know any better either so I’m not going to follow the rules that they are enforcing and not following themselves.

This does bit make sense. No govt understands the virus completely yet. The only way to save services is lockdowns. There is no other way ATM

I am doing what I think is best for me and my family in exactly the same way the government is doing what is best for themselves

So you dont care if services become overwhelmed. If you cant phone an ambulance or the police? Cany get medical attention?

We were told in March it was for 2 weeks, no respite for us in the NW.
The science isn't even making sense.
Go to work, go shopping, go to the pub, go to school.
Don't see any member of your family, or mix households, even with people you have been with all day.
It's control bollocks and some people can see this.

Make hay while the sun shines OP.

Do you understand that there is more to most people's lives than Covid?

Do you understand that I want a functioning NHS, police and social services

If you think they will accept repeatedly locking down, you are deluded. Some of us have jobs in hospitality, parents with cancer, children who rely on the routine of school. Get your head out of your arse

There won't be any services if this virus is not controlled. The only way to control it at the moment is lockdowns

Who will you call when the NHS, schools and the police collapse?

@dontdisturbmenow
How thick do you have to be to not realise that zoom doesn't cut it for someone who can't talk?
How heartless do you have tobe to think asking as she has just her husband that's fine?
You aren't coming across as a very nice person to put it mildly. But I expect you think you are wonderful.