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Original poster

To be really angry that seeing my parents is illegal?

675 replies

Snailsetssail · 08/10/2020 21:26

My area is very likely to be locked down next week. I am so furious that it’s going to be against the law for me to see my parents, and my children to see their grandparents. We did lockdown properly last time, it was absolutely awful. My mental health plummeted and I don’t think I can do it again. I rely on support from family and friends.

Just feeling so incredibly angry about it all tonight. Poor people in Leicester have lived like this for 100 days so far with no end in site.

I’m so fed up and I know I’m going to be told to just get on it it. But I just need a space to vent.

OP posts:
tappitytaptap · 09/10/2020 10:11

@PennyDreadfuI

There needs to be sense and humanity in the rules

This, with bells on.

Totally agree!
ancientgran · 09/10/2020 10:17

@Codexdivinchi Fuck off with your suck it up. My grandmother is 88 and is withering away before my eyes. This could be her last winter and she’s stuck in her house scared to death the neighbours will report her if a family member sits in her fucking garden to talk to her. Can't you visit on the basis she needs care and support? I thought that was allowed.

IncandescentSilver · 09/10/2020 10:19

The European Convention on Human Rights only allows for removal of human rights on as short a term basis as is absolutely necessary to deal with an imminent threat to society as a whole. Not to hold back the surrad of a virus (which has never been done before), the average age of death resulting from it which is 82.

No wonder people aren't complying - it's a vast social experiment to provide a solution which is almost certainly not going to work. It's likely we are only prolonging the reign of this virus, in order to stop politicians being blamed for excess deaths

PennyDreadfuI · 09/10/2020 10:21

[quote ancientgran]**@Codexdivinchi* Fuck off with your suck it up. My grandmother is 88 and is withering away before my eyes. This could be her last winter and she’s stuck in her house scared to death the neighbours will report her if a family member sits in her fucking garden to talk to her.* Can't you visit on the basis she needs care and support? I thought that was allowed.[/quote]
If the current proposals go ahead, from next week if she's in Tier 3 it won't be.

I know I keep banging on about incoming Tier 3 restrictions but I genuinely think that those in other areas of the country don't realise what's going on in the areas these rules will cover.

REDLIPSTICKANDNAILS · 09/10/2020 10:22

Go and see them. Dominic Cummings went off to visit his parents because apparently it was the best decision for his family. If it's ok for them and they get the backing of all the Tories then it's ok for the rest of us. People are sick of the rules being flouted by those that set them.

ancientgran · 09/10/2020 10:22

PennyDreadful so are you saying that disabled/vulnerable people who currently have carers (paid or family) calling are just going to be locked in their houses to die? I'm sorry I don't believe that.

MakeAPeaCry · 09/10/2020 10:28

Vent. Be angry.

Our government has let us down with multiple fuck ups. It's not abiding by lockdowns that is the answer. It's a functioning, competant government that is not solely out for their own inerests.

The app should be much, much better. It should be adequate. It should accept NHS as well as private test results. It should not flash up false positives that then vanish. I should be something we can all rely on to tell us when we have been near someone who has a positive test result.

The test system should be much, much better. It should not use bloody Excel as it's data repository. You should be able to get a same-day, same-result test.

The support for people who have to quarantine should be much, much better. So long as quarantining means a net loss of income of around £300+ a time for some people, it should not come as a surprise when people cannot do it and try to avoid.

Our Prime Minister should be better. He should be attending meetings that he is too lazy to attend. He should be more present in speaking to the counry he is meant to be leading - but for that needs to be a competant and credible speaker.

Contracts should not be given to brothers mates, forms that senior members of the decision board has interests in and so on. They should be awarded with proper due diligence and review. They are not.

They are failing us all.

PennyDreadfuI · 09/10/2020 10:29

@ancientgran

PennyDreadful so are you saying that disabled/vulnerable people who currently have carers (paid or family) calling are just going to be locked in their houses to die? I'm sorry I don't believe that.
Whether you believe it or not, that's what's been proposed. No contact with anyone outside your household under any circumstances.

Can you see now why people in these areas are so angry and worried, and why they're planning on disregarding those rules if/when they come in next week?

Mumsnut · 09/10/2020 10:31

My most vivid memory of the early days of lockdown was seeing photos, every day, of doctors, nurses, care workers, and hospital porters who had died of Covid. Most of them in their middle years , some with young children.

ancientgran · 09/10/2020 10:35

PennyDreadful so my son's quadraplegic friend won't be able to have carers? I'm sorry I don't believe it. Can you show evidence that carers won't be allowed to visit? Difficult I assume as the govt are supposed to be still making decisions.

PennyDreadfuI · 09/10/2020 10:42

@ancientgran

PennyDreadful so my son's quadraplegic friend won't be able to have carers? I'm sorry I don't believe it. Can you show evidence that carers won't be allowed to visit? Difficult I assume as the govt are supposed to be still making decisions.
Paid professional carers, I should imagine yes. Friends or family, no.
StealthPolarBear · 09/10/2020 10:43

@MakeAPeaCry

Vent. Be angry.

Our government has let us down with multiple fuck ups. It's not abiding by lockdowns that is the answer. It's a functioning, competant government that is not solely out for their own inerests.

The app should be much, much better. It should be adequate. It should accept NHS as well as private test results. It should not flash up false positives that then vanish. I should be something we can all rely on to tell us when we have been near someone who has a positive test result.

The test system should be much, much better. It should not use bloody Excel as it's data repository. You should be able to get a same-day, same-result test.

The support for people who have to quarantine should be much, much better. So long as quarantining means a net loss of income of around £300+ a time for some people, it should not come as a surprise when people cannot do it and try to avoid.

Our Prime Minister should be better. He should be attending meetings that he is too lazy to attend. He should be more present in speaking to the counry he is meant to be leading - but for that needs to be a competant and credible speaker.

Contracts should not be given to brothers mates, forms that senior members of the decision board has interests in and so on. They should be awarded with proper due diligence and review. They are not.

They are failing us all.

Hear hear
Lauraa7 · 09/10/2020 10:54

I’m in Melbourne, we’ve had a curfew, limited to one hour outside home a day, now extended to two hours. Only allowed within a few miles of our home. It’s been really fucking hard, but we only had 11 cases today. I might not get to visit the UK for a few years. I understand what you are saying, but what happens if you see them and then you all get it. It everyone did the right thing, this would be over

goldrabbit22 · 09/10/2020 10:55

It won't be forever

Can I ask how you know that?

neonjumper · 09/10/2020 10:55

[quote movingonup20]@FatGirlShrinking

That's not the reason in Leicester, it very specific culturally sensitive issues. [/quote]
Not wholly true . My sister is a nurse and her whole ward was closed last week and deep cleaned , all operations cancelled because patients relatives are not following rules . There was no cultural slant on that .

I've not seen my family since Xmas last year ( Leicester based ) and my husband ( Beverley based ) since last November .

Yet our neighbours had a massive party for their 4 year old on the weekend the rule of 6 came back in .

ancientgran · 09/10/2020 11:01

Paid professional carers, I should imagine yes. Friends or family, no. Yes carers for the vulnerable/disabled will be allowed. What do you think would happen if the young man I mentioned couldn't get a professional carer? Say his normal carer got covid? Do you seriously imagine anyone, govt/police/whoever, would stop his mother/father/best friend going in and supporting him? Stop scaremongering.

PennyDreadfuI · 09/10/2020 11:07

@ancientgran

Paid professional carers, I should imagine yes. Friends or family, no. Yes carers for the vulnerable/disabled will be allowed. What do you think would happen if the young man I mentioned couldn't get a professional carer? Say his normal carer got covid? Do you seriously imagine anyone, govt/police/whoever, would stop his mother/father/best friend going in and supporting him? Stop scaremongering.
I'm not scaremongering. Read the proposals yourself (I've posted a screenshot of Tier 3 proposals above). They explicitly say no social contact outside your household in any setting.

Whether those responsible for enforcing these rules would be heartless enough to do so remains to be seen.

OperationallySound · 09/10/2020 11:08

To those who say that lockdown didn't work, how would they explain the immense drop in cases as soon as lockdown was implemented? That's happened in every country that has locked down. You only have to look at the graph of cases and deaths following the half arsed US response and lack of lockdown, it's completely different to the EU. Lockdown was never about making the virus go away, it was about spreading the load (or flattening the curve if you prefer) on health services so they didn't become completely overwhelmed. Look what happened now lockdown has been eased.

If the vaccine is effective and is rolled out quickly, and signs are good, these will hopefully be the last set of restrictions placed on us. One of my DC is recovering from covid, into week 5 of it now, and despite being young, fit and healthy, it's been awful.

All of that said, I'll stick to the rules, and the likely increased restrictions next week where I live, and whilst I do understand that others won't or don't want to, please do be as sensible as possible with visiting family. As my DC said when infectious 'I've got something inside me that could kill other people'.

ancientgran · 09/10/2020 11:11

PennyDreadful They explicitly say no social contact outside your household in any setting. Helping a paralysed man to dress/wash/eat/take med/treat bedsores is not social contact, I think you don't understand the difference.

PennyDreadfuI · 09/10/2020 11:14

@ancientgran

PennyDreadful They explicitly say no social contact outside your household in any setting. Helping a paralysed man to dress/wash/eat/take med/treat bedsores is not social contact, I think you don't understand the difference.
I understand the difference. I'm not sure the government do, and I wouldn't have faith in them to do so if I were you.
bibbitybobbitycats · 09/10/2020 11:14

@PennyDreadfuI I think you are scaremongering a little because you have only seen what has been leaked so far.

The details in the press are just the high-level bullet points for each tier. There will be more detail underpinning the restrictions which none of us knows yet. I am willing to bet my house that there will be exceptions and those will include providing care, whether formal or informal, the same as there was during the national lockdown.

bibbitybobbitycats · 09/10/2020 11:19

Also, at the moment where I am (S. Wales) we are not to have contact with anyone outside our household, but we can still visit to provide care to vulnerable people. There is no reason for Englan not to do the same.

bibbitybobbitycats · 09/10/2020 11:19

England.

CorianderLord · 09/10/2020 11:21

I've seen my mum once since Christmas 2019. It sucks, but we live on opposite ends of the country.

ancientgran · 09/10/2020 11:32

Bibbitybobbity Also, at the moment where I am (S. Wales) we are not to have contact with anyone outside our household, but we can still visit to provide care to vulnerable people. There is no reason for Englan not to do the same. Thanks for the sane post, I don't think people realise how terrifying it can be for someone who literally can't do anything for themselves, toileting/eating/washing. To tell them they will get no help is unforgivable particularly to claim it is govt policy when there is no evidence of that and let's face it there would be an uprising if it was the case.