Got rid of friend

[Flute56]

For a long time I have felt the need to vent to a friend about the way our friendship was going. It was very one sided and I tried ignoring her which didn't work because I was always tempted to make contact which I did. One day something just snapped and I felt I just could not go on. She was cold and unfriendly and I decided enough was enough, so I decided the only way forward was to email her and tell her how unhappy I was with the way things were. I felt this was the only to put closure on a really one sided non existing friendship.

I do not feel bad about it, but each time I contacted her and got a cold responde, it just brought it home to me that I do not want or need that sort of person in my life. Now I know there is no way I can ever be tempted to contact her because she knows how I feel and it is up to her to contact me to either explain herself, or to agree that we should go our different ways. I have not heard anything back and wrote to her two days ago. Maybe she needs time to process what I said and is thinking about what to say, or she has indeed not read my email because she sometimes does not read her emails for a day or so.

Has anyone been in this situation and how did you deal with it and what was the outcome? I suggested we meet up because we had not met since lockdown in March and she was less than enthusiastic so I just decided to call it a day and I have no regrets whatsoever. Other friends of mine make time for me, support me, suggest we do things so it is really her loss

I have no intention of respondig

Rather rude of you given you've bitched about her on a social media site for not responding.

I like that phrase 'lockdown re-evaluation'. I've sort of done the same with a too demanding friend who is just full on all the time.

I used to get the constant messages questioning our friendship if I hadn't responded quickly enough or didn't want to meet up. I felt pressured into sending gushing messages thanking her for being my friend. She basically needed praise and reaffirmations that we were BFF. I did feel she tried to treat me like a partner rather than a friend.

I felt like she constantly played me to get the reactions she needed. The constant games wore me down. I've gone through our messages and the same stuff is repeated time after time. There is nothing wrong with my friend but she just needs to dial down the intensity and accept the level of friendship that I can offer. I think being single gives her too much time on her own especially now.

*Quite a few of you thought I would never hear from my friend again but she has just emailed me and said she was surprised by my decision but she accepts it.

Now we can finally move on. I have no intention of respondig*
If that's true she sounds very nice considering a friend just told her the reasons she dislike her and doesn't want to be friends ,nothing unlike you have described her op .

A friend years ago replied to a text I sent her, listing several reasons why I was not a good friend to her.
I was so shocked and hurt - reading this thread has confirmed that I was right to move on with my life without her.
It's needy , spiteful and judgemental.
Also very unnecessary.

So she didn't apologise she just basically said ok.

She probably knew OP would never let it go unless she said something, so she made adequate noises and it works... OP will finally leave her alone. She certainly isn't fighting for this and nor would any sane person.

I'm kinda glad she didn't apologise to you, OP. You sound super needy and attention seeking.

Oof sorry OP you sound like hard work. It also sounds like she wasn’t interested in the friendship before you sent the email. Polite of her to reply - I wouldn’t have!

You do sound a bit bitter about it though. I hope you manage to process it and move on now!

Unless you are professionals, don’t make unprofessional diagnose about this poster. Yes, there are some issues she may need to work out for herself but we are not qualified to make these accusations about her.

The OP would have been accused of ‘ghosting’ had she simply ignored the crap friend so whatever. At least she got to say her piece. I’d just write off a nasty friend if they were so obnoxious- why waste time debating who is a worse person?

Well there you are then OP. Job done.

Take time to learn from what has happened.l so you take something good away from this. How you didn't read the signs the friendship was over, why you are so angry and upset with her, why you can't admit your true feelings on an anonymous forum etc.

*I have no intention of respondig

Rather rude of you given you've bitched about her on a social media site for not responding.*

Hi there,
We have made several deletions on this thread. Could we remind you all again that troll-hunting is against our guidelines, as are personal attacks. We do ask that you play the ball, not the man.

I would not return to the friendshi if she crawled to me on her hands and knees. She is too boring.

You wanted an apology from this woman yet describe her in this horrible way. Her response to your critical email was restrained and honourable. The fact that she is surprised by what you said makes me think she was probably overdue a few apologies from you. Your ex friend has definitely dodged a bullet. Now you can both move on lol.

You get deleted for calling someone a Muppet now?!

The OP would have been accused of ‘ghosting’ had she simply ignored the crap friend so whatever.

I don't think so, based on the fact that the friend never got in touch with the OP (the OP is all about how she kept getting in touch with the friend, and complaints about how she was apparently 'cold' when she phoned her) and was uninterested in her. It seems fairly clear that the friend was trying to withdraw from the friendship for some time, for whatever reason.

It sounds as if you were more invested in the friendship and perhaps she might be relieved that you're calling it off?

“Got rid”. Like this person was trash. People aren’t disposable. I wouldn’t want to be your friend with that attitude, so I’m not surprised she was cold towards you.