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Got rid of friend

159 replies

Flute56 · 06/10/2020 07:24

For a long time I have felt the need to vent to a friend about the way our friendship was going. It was very one sided and I tried ignoring her which didn't work because I was always tempted to make contact which I did. One day something just snapped and I felt I just could not go on. She was cold and unfriendly and I decided enough was enough, so I decided the only way forward was to email her and tell her how unhappy I was with the way things were. I felt this was the only to put closure on a really one sided non existing friendship.

I do not feel bad about it, but each time I contacted her and got a cold responde, it just brought it home to me that I do not want or need that sort of person in my life. Now I know there is no way I can ever be tempted to contact her because she knows how I feel and it is up to her to contact me to either explain herself, or to agree that we should go our different ways. I have not heard anything back and wrote to her two days ago. Maybe she needs time to process what I said and is thinking about what to say, or she has indeed not read my email because she sometimes does not read her emails for a day or so.

Has anyone been in this situation and how did you deal with it and what was the outcome? I suggested we meet up because we had not met since lockdown in March and she was less than enthusiastic so I just decided to call it a day and I have no regrets whatsoever. Other friends of mine make time for me, support me, suggest we do things so it is really her loss

OP posts:
Bluesheep8 · 06/10/2020 14:15

workhomesleep I've seen it happen so many times at work over the years, never ceases to amuse me

blueberrypie0112 · 06/10/2020 14:19

You don’t need to contact her. She knows this relationship isn’t working out. She can try to patch things up but if this is her personality, it will only be too much work for her. Let her find someone who she can be herself.

Kalula · 06/10/2020 14:33

You sound far too exhausting, dramatic, full on and suffocating. I think she'd been trying to let the friendship dwindle, and you haven't gotten the hint. So you blew up, said the friendships over, but you still seem to be pondering why she hasn't contacted you?

Seriously have a good long look at yourself in the mirror because you will eventually fall out with everyone and be alone with no friends left.

I too, think she is breathing a sigh of relief that you finally, she thinks, 'got the hint'. Just leave her alone now and don't expect her to contact you, when you've already told her that the friendships over. Why do you expect her to contact you?

Ohtherewearethen · 06/10/2020 14:33

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needalittletimetowakeup · 06/10/2020 14:33

A 'friend' of mine did this - sat me down, told me how awful I was and then contacted me 6 months later to say how stunned she was that I hadn't immediately apologised and begged for her forgiveness.
So while your behaviour is insane, it's not totally unheard of.

whatsyournamenow · 06/10/2020 14:42

I would not return to the friendshi is she crawled to me on her hands and knees, She is too boring for me.

She's made it clear that's never going to happen so I wouldn't worry!!

I can see why she's made no contact, probably glad it's over to be honest!

Flute56 · 06/10/2020 16:20

I said to her in the email that she had upset me. If someone said that to me, then I would have said sorry that was not my intention but ........

Any decent person would say that. I know I would

When someone I knew was splitting up from their partner, things were going wrong, I am not sure the ins and outs of it but they had a heart to heart and parted ways with no ill feelings but realised they were too different for any kind off relationship to happen again

OP posts:
ShebaShimmyShake · 06/10/2020 16:28

You're a drama llama and she's had enough. I've had enough from this thread alone. I bet she is too "boring" for you, but I wouldn't pay the price of maintaining your interest either.

You clearly feel a need for drama and high emotions. Suggest you leave people alone and just go set something on fire instead.

Mrsjayy · 06/10/2020 16:28

But you have said this friend was cold towards you, why are you expecting a gushing apology. if they are cold and unfeeling they are not going to have a sudden epiphany and be sorry they hurt your feelings are they ?

LoveEatYoga · 06/10/2020 16:30

She might not be sorry because there might be reasons why she behaves the way she does.

Remember, your side of the story is only half of it, and she could have her reasons to be upset too or to not want to be friends.

I'm not saying you're wrong but she might not think she's wrong either.

Mrsjayy · 06/10/2020 16:33

I really think she dislikes you for whatever reason you need to leave it alone.

daisychain1620 · 06/10/2020 16:34

It is clearly annoying you that she hasn't replied even though you don't want her as a friend. I don't understand what it is you expect from her. I think you want her to feel bad, apologise and then continue to what bring drama to her life. You've said you have better friends so go have fun

AranciaRosso · 06/10/2020 16:44

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workhomesleeprepeat · 06/10/2020 16:46

@Flute56

I said to her in the email that she had upset me. If someone said that to me, then I would have said sorry that was not my intention but ........

Any decent person would say that. I know I would

When someone I knew was splitting up from their partner, things were going wrong, I am not sure the ins and outs of it but they had a heart to heart and parted ways with no ill feelings but realised they were too different for any kind off relationship to happen again

🤣🤣🤣🤣 you are comedy gold OP! So you want her to apologize, and then get out of your life.

Doesn’t work like that! If someone wrote to me telling me how awful I was I would think, well, good riddance. No need to beg for forgiveness.

She’s not your boyfriend or partner op so the comparison you made doesn’t make sense. And people have acrimonious breakups all the time. Tender heart to hearts are certainly not always the norm

Bluesheep8 · 06/10/2020 17:04

As a pp said, you're drawing comparisons with a relationship break up. This is totalky different as its a friendship, or was....

Bluesheep8 · 06/10/2020 17:05

totally

SoupDragon · 06/10/2020 17:36

Have you done this to other friends before?

ToastyCrumpet · 06/10/2020 17:40

You sound to me as though you wanted attention, didn’t get it and are furious about that. Leave her alone, FFS.

gamerchick · 06/10/2020 17:49

@Flute56

I said to her in the email that she had upset me. If someone said that to me, then I would have said sorry that was not my intention but ........

Any decent person would say that. I know I would

When someone I knew was splitting up from their partner, things were going wrong, I am not sure the ins and outs of it but they had a heart to heart and parted ways with no ill feelings but realised they were too different for any kind off relationship to happen again

It's obvious you have a problem with looking inward. This post of hours is not normal OP. Leave.her.alone. it's done, it wasn't a sodden romance to get closure from.
CremeEggThief · 06/10/2020 17:50

Would you consider counselling, OP? I think you need some help in letting go and moving on and perhaps managing your expectations. From your posts, you sound like a teenage girl.

nibdedibble · 06/10/2020 17:56

I ended a friendship over almost the same thing (a Lockdown Re-evaluation) but I didn’t include a list of grievances. I didn’t actually want to hurt this person though, I just found her a bit of a fair weather friend and CBA.

I got a ‘right-oh’ sort of a response. Not sure you’re going to get anything, people do love to save face.

ShebaShimmyShake · 06/10/2020 17:59

@nibdedibble

I ended a friendship over almost the same thing (a Lockdown Re-evaluation) but I didn’t include a list of grievances. I didn’t actually want to hurt this person though, I just found her a bit of a fair weather friend and CBA.

I got a ‘right-oh’ sort of a response. Not sure you’re going to get anything, people do love to save face.

Save face? This person hasn't done anything to be embarrassed about. She's giving the spiteful message the most dignified response possible and the one it most deserves: none at all.
nibdedibble · 06/10/2020 18:01

@ShebaShimmyShake You might be right! We don’t know, I guess. Either way hope the OP gets a grip and stops thinking about this woman.

Flute56 · 06/10/2020 19:25

Quite a few of you thought I would never hear from my friend again but she has just emailed me and said she was surprised by my decision but she accepts it.

Now we can finally move on. I have no intention of respondig

OP posts:
AfterSchoolWorry · 06/10/2020 19:33

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