CJsGoldfish
"Or they are blaming women for going ahead DESPITE mens behaviour. Telling ourselves (and especially others) that he suddenly 'changed' is much better than admitting the signs were there all along and we went all in anyway.
Having a baby after 5 mins. Or before you've even lived life. Or because you think it will 'keep' the loser. Or just because you want one. Are all pretty crap reasons and why on earth can we not acknowledge that?"
This is a master-class in victim blaming.
Men don't all come pre-packaged with a sticker that informs women whether they plan to turn into a lazy slob when they've had kids.
There are some obvious ne-er do wells but what we're talking about aren't hopeless drunks or junkies, we're talking about the fact most of them come imprinted with a template from their own upbringing which tells them, consciously or subconsciously, that their wife or partner will do all the heavy lifting domestically.
This isn't anything strategic on their part. It simply reflects the fact that society has not yet evolved sufficiently for them to see enough examples of families where there is a genuinely fair division of labour.
This may change as time goes on and as more men are raised by working mothers who are disinclined to put up with this sort of shit. But for now it's still pretty prevalent.
What exactly are women supposed to do? What level of due diligence are they supposed to perform that will screen out every man other than those super progressive men who've been raised by feminists? Are we supposed stampede over one another in a rush to find the last living man who can make his own bed and feed formula to a child?
No. We need to engineer this from the bottom up: raise our male children to understand they don't get a free ride domestically from women and raise our girls to understand they need to draw the line and draw it early.