Two bed house in ideal place, or a bedroom for each child?

[Mooseflake]

I'm a single mum of two DSs, aged 12 & 14. I've recently had my divorce settlement so I'm finally able to move out of our rented house and buy our own home.

I've seen a 2 bedroom house in a very desirable village, Ive always wanted to live there. Think chocolate box houses and a pretty high street. The house is well within my means, and I think I could do it up and make a good profit on it within a few years. It's a bit further away from my work, and the school, but I think house prices are going to rocket there so it's a bit of a bargain.

My ex thinks I should buy a 3 bedroom house so the DSs can each have their own room, but I can't afford one in that village. It would have to be in the nearby town, where they go to school, and closer to where ExH lives, so its' more convenient in some ways but it's nowhere near as pretty.

My DSs say they dont mind sharing a room. AIBU to buy the 2 bed?

It is far from certain that you will make some profit from the cottage if you sell it in a few years.

The economic outlook is quite bleak at the moment. If you buy something, bear in mind that you could be stuck there long term.

I can understand you wanting this village.

However, you have two boys.

Things change so quickly for teenager's.

The town, with a bedroom each, near their school, where they don't have a long commute to school would be the best for your boys.

It's a no brainer.

It's a clear choice between what would be best for your boys as they grow up and a dream you have.

Nothing wrong with your dream, but you have two boys whose needs will change soon.

They don't know how things will change for them but within two years they will.

Good luck.

OP it sounds as if you've never owned before. If the cottage was a sure fire fix up and sell at a profit - do you not think there'd be a queue of developers at the door?

And imagine trying to revise for GCSEs with no kitchen, heating and banging all day

This will be the first house I've owned by myself, post-divorce.

For those saying they can't understand why I'd move within 5 years, that's not what I meant. I definitely want to stay in that village, but I'm hoping the cottage will give me a first foot in the door and I can move up the ladder in the same village in a few years time.

Perhaps a temporary partition in the boys room would be better than building a wall, if people really think it would reduce the value? But I've promised the boys their own room, one DS is excited to have his own desk instead of a window, he is ok with it.

I'm normally one that advocates for compromise and if you saw this as your forever home I'd be all for it and say the boys would make do. But as you see it as a way to make money I think it's unfair to put your boys through this for their teenage lives. How they are at 12 and 14 is very different from how they will be at 15 and 19.

I also can't believe you think it would be fair to move them and also not to take on the responsibility of mum taxi.

My folks moved to their forever home when I went to college. We moved from an accessible town house to a large derelict property miles from anywhere. I was cut off from my friends and independence. I resented it very much at the time. But I did at least have my own room. I went to uni and never went back home.

There is no reason a 2 bedroom house in the village is going to get you a step closer to owning your ideal house in 5 years time than a 3 bedroom house in the town will.

You can afford a property that is convenient and fits the needs of you and your family.

I really don't understand your logic at all

You are going to build a wall in the 2nd bedroom to make the 3rd bedroom!? How big is this bedroom?

@Mooseflake

This will be the first house I've owned by myself, post-divorce.

For those saying they can't understand why I'd move within 5 years, that's not what I meant. I definitely want to stay in that village, but I'm hoping the cottage will give me a first foot in the door and I can move up the ladder in the same village in a few years time.

Perhaps a temporary partition in the boys room would be better than building a wall, if people really think it would reduce the value? But I've promised the boys their own room, one DS is excited to have his own desk instead of a window, he is ok with it.

@Mooseflake

Listen carefully. You cannot put one of your children to sleep in a room without a window, which they cannot escape in case of fire. It is against building regulations for exactly this reason. So you CANNOT give them each their own room, unless you sleep in the living room. You need to do lots more research before you know what’s possible in this cottage.

@Mooseflake

It's run down, so it needs modernising, new kitchen, redecoration, tidy up the garden etc. Plus I'll be turning it from a 2 bed into a 3 bed. So I think I can improve it, and the house prices are likely to increase as more and more people want to move to rural places in the current climate.

Houses have always sold quickly in the area, it's a very sought after place.

People aren't going to take the 3rd bedroom as a bedroom when it's essentially a cupboard with no window?

Whenever we've looked at buying houses (and we live in a village) bedroom size is always taken in to account and you're not going to fool anyone in to wanting what was a 2 bed with a decent sized room and put a wall up and lead people to believe it's a 3 bed.

People that live in villages generally want space in their houses, the cottage you're looking at already sounds pushed for space without trying to turn one bedroom in to 2. Potential buyers will just see a cramped cottage and not want to pay what you seem to think you're making.

It's incredibly selfish to move your children to a village that's an 1.5 hr round trip at least 5 days a week because you want to have that "village life". Especially when you've refused to drive them anywhere, which again is incredibly selfish when you're the one making them live miles away.

I grew up in a village and it was extremely isolating. Luckily my school was close so most of my friends lived here but if you wanted to go shopping or cinema or out for food or anything (which teenagers do) we had to travel 30mins away (by car, longer by bus) then with curfews etc meant it was never worth it.
Now that I'm older (and drive) I love living here and how quiet it is, but when I moved to the nearest city for uni I couldn't wait to get away, and rarely visited home.

You've completely ignored all the comments saying you're being selfish and the boys will resent you - they say they're excited now but in a year or twos time when they're at an age where they want more independence and realise the effort it is to do anything they will hate it - and you know that but know that by then they will be stuck there, so are choosing to ignore it

2 teens, you don't like driving and a village = recipe for disaster.

Even if they don't want to do any activities now, in 3-4 years it will be very different.

Also, homework will increase, they may want to hang out with mates, at one point go out again.

I would bite the bullet, buy in town and when they are off to college buy something in the village you love.

Selling it to your son that he can have a desk instead of a window is ridiculous.

I don’t think you really wanted advice from this thread at all. I think you wanted ‘Sounds amazing, you go for it, follow your heart!’ type cheerleading; hence when people have pointed out what your ex and mother have already told you, you’ve become a little defensive. There’s nothing wrong with knowing your own mind, but it’s pointless pretending you care what other people think.

This seems to happen a lot on property threads. I remember one woman wanting to buy a house in a crap area because it was by some woods, ‘Which would be rather special’. When almost every poster said buy the other house that’s in a better area, it was ‘Really? So not by the woods then? You don’t think that would be rather special?’ She just wanted someone to talk her into it.

There was another one who had spotted her ‘dream home’ at £650k, but her budget was only £480k. When everyone said yes, she was fooling herself if she thought it was worth offering her maximum budget, she was crushed. ‘Awwh no!!! Really?! No chance? I thought you’d all tell me to go for it ’

It would be so much better, and quicker, if people didn’t go through the pretence of wanting advice when they really want affirmation of a decision I’ve already made.

@Mooseflake

This will be the first house I've owned by myself, post-divorce.

For those saying they can't understand why I'd move within 5 years, that's not what I meant. I definitely want to stay in that village, but I'm hoping the cottage will give me a first foot in the door and I can move up the ladder in the same village in a few years time.

Perhaps a temporary partition in the boys room would be better than building a wall, if people really think it would reduce the value? But I've promised the boys their own room, one DS is excited to have his own desk instead of a window, he is ok with it.

Why do you think that owning a house in that village is a must for moving there?

If that were the case you couldn't move there now.

If you're really committed to the village, then you can get involved with community life there before you move there and hit the ground running. But it really isn't now or never for moving there.

(by the way, the previous PP is wrong about listed properties needing permission to change inside - my parents and neighbours houses are both listed but their isn't listed for interiors at all - they have gutted the place to make it liveable - and the previous owners could freely remove an ancient feature!)

But I've promised the boys their own room

@Mooseflake

Unless you put a wall up they won't have their own rooms though? And you can't guarantee that you would be able to put a wall up, this still requires permission from the council.

A really thoughtless promise and a ploy I suspect to get them to be "excited" about the move

Teenage boy in a room with no window, that's going to smell amazing.

It's quite clear op is not listening to a word. Maybe she's hoping the kids will move in with her ex after a year of this village paradise?

What about when your teens become young adults and are still having to live at home?

I’d say that as this is not your “forever home”, I would go for the three bed in town. It works so much better for the majority of you. You’ll have benefits too. Don’t be selfish. You can buy a house in this village later on.

I hate town living too, and thankfully live near the countryside, so I can see your point, but it is very self centred when you have children to consider.

@Porcupineinwaiting

Teenage boy in a room with no window, that's going to smell amazing.

It's quite clear op is not listening to a word. Maybe she's hoping the kids will move in with her ex after a year of this village paradise?

This crossed my mind tbh.

@Mooseflake are you prepared for your dc to make noises about living with their df if it turns out they can’t tolerate it or the fall out if that’s not possible?

Of course that could happen anyway but you aren’t stacking the odds in your favour.

It's quite clear op is not listening to a word. Maybe she's hoping the kids will move in with her ex after a year of this village paradise?

Nah OP thinks it will be a little dream house and is utterly kidding herself.

Anyway, it's crystal clear she has made up her mind.

by the way, the previous PP is wrong about listed properties needing permission to change inside - my parents and neighbours houses are both listed but their isn't listed for interiors at all - they have gutted the place to make it liveable - and the previous owners could freely remove an ancient feature!)

This is completely wrong, all of a building internal and external is listed and permission needed to make internal alterations.

You don't need a 'foot in the door' when it comes to moving to a village, its not like a job where you get a lower role and work your way up.

Also its hard living in a small house whilst renovating it. Why not wait a while, house prices in my area are dropping. You might be able to get something more suitable for your family.

YOU ARE BEING REALLY SELFISH WOMAN READ THE FUCKING THREAD

I don’t know why you bothered asking 🙄

YABU but it’s sounds like you’ve made up your mind and unfortunately, I think you’ll regret it. Please consider if your dream is worth potentially disrupting your relationship with your sons. You have dug your heels in, is it because your ex and mum disagree? If so, you’re cutting your nose off to spite your face. The cottage and location sounds totally unsuitable for growing teenage boys. You’re looking through the lens at your own childhood but they’re not you, your sons are their own people and this is their lives.

If you divide the rooms there are other ways of getting light in, I have a couple of those tube lighting things which are cut into the roof and bring light in, they also double as lights. I've a 5 bedroom house, at one stage all the rooms were needed. Seems like all of a sudden that need goes so I'd go with the area you live. It also gets you away from your ex and helps you make a new start.