Two bed house in ideal place, or a bedroom for each child?

[Mooseflake]

I'm a single mum of two DSs, aged 12 & 14. I've recently had my divorce settlement so I'm finally able to move out of our rented house and buy our own home.

I've seen a 2 bedroom house in a very desirable village, Ive always wanted to live there. Think chocolate box houses and a pretty high street. The house is well within my means, and I think I could do it up and make a good profit on it within a few years. It's a bit further away from my work, and the school, but I think house prices are going to rocket there so it's a bit of a bargain.

My ex thinks I should buy a 3 bedroom house so the DSs can each have their own room, but I can't afford one in that village. It would have to be in the nearby town, where they go to school, and closer to where ExH lives, so its' more convenient in some ways but it's nowhere near as pretty.

My DSs say they dont mind sharing a room. AIBU to buy the 2 bed?

If you do buy the two bed, you could always sleep in the converted cupboard.

I think you are being very unrealistic about buying a house 45 minutes from their school and not being a mum taxi. Plus forcing nearly an hour long commute on school age kids who will being doing exams ect. This is all about you and what you want

I have girls of the same age as your dc’s op. Don’t buy the 2 bed, they need their space just as you need yours.

Definitely house in town based on my personal experience of moving from village to town with teenagers.
I think they'll need their own space soon and it doesn't sound as if the cottage has much living space either.

OP, I am the biggest proponent of parents getting to choose where they live and chocolate box villages there is on MN. I usually try and give support to the parents wanting it, because MN can be hugely anti rural moves. But your plan is terrible.

• I grew up in a rural place and loved it - but 12 & 14 is too late for the move.
• You WILL end up doing the transport.
• Your plan is for the next five years - an essential five years for your sons but an optional choice for you.

Since you're adamant that they're OK with sharing, how about this?

• Buy a 2 bed near their school that's a fixer upper.
• Spend the next few years doing THAT up and split the big bedroom.
• Prep to sell as soon as your younger son has sat his A Levels (at that point he may still be living with you, but you can give him ample warning to learn to drive etc).

You get to maximise your investment and save like the devil without compromising your long term plan.

You seem fixated thst these houses never come up, but as a long veteran of house porn, there's always another house.

So how do the boys feel about an extra hour on a bus each day. My bet is that they gave a non committal response, to avoid disappointing their very selfish mother.

I’m another who would go for the 3 bed town over 2 bed village.

Whilst I would consider my dc’s opinion I wouldn’t put too much weight on it because they’re not in a position to make a choice based on the same kind of foresight and experience I am. I don’t think it’s fair to take advantage of their excitement at moving as an indication they would be happy with the potential pitfalls for them individually. Kids/teens aren’t exactly well known for their foresight.

I’ve lived in a house like you describe and we moved when dd was a toddler and the opportunity came up because it was stifling with the three of us. There was no escaping one another and the storage was a nightmare (although I appreciate this a young dc issue primarily).

More than the space though, if either of your dc do struggle with the lack of space it’s not easy for them to resolve that, they can’t just pop round to a friends house or library or cafe (I’m presuming this village will have limited opening hours or none at all).

Even if they’re not particularly sociable they might want to get a job alongside their studies in a couple of years and a remote location will make that really difficult for them, especially if you’re not on board with providing regular lifts.

On balance, as you’re in a position to have a choice, I think the dream cottage has too much potential to be an utter nightmare even if it would turn a profit in a few years. I think you could compromise on space or location but both is asking too much.

3 bed town house. As much, much better for teens.

Renovating costly and can be miserable too!

I would choose the village but f you'd have said it's your forever house. But it isn't. I would choose the 3 bed, and then move to the village when the kids are older. You say you don't want to be driving them around, however you'll have to when they're 15/16 and want to see their friends!

OP you mention that you are in a rented 3 bed house that is 20 minutes from the town.

So what you want to do is buy somewhere with 1 less bedroom and with a much longer commute than the place you currently live in.

If this isn't a wind-up then your plan is very silly.

I think your sons will spend a lot of time at friends houses and you won't have them at home much and you won't have a clue what they are up to.

I have renovated 2 old village houses. In both we added value by converting large attic space into really nice big bedrooms with large double aspect windows as well as velux windows and high ceilings. We also added a bathroom. We did nearly all of the work ourselves. Both projects would have cost a fortune to have done by a builder.

Adding value to houses is not as easy as it looks on the telly programmes. You need to increase the footprint of a house not just decorate. Or you need to gut and rewire a shell. Either way it is a lot of work and upheaval and costs a lot of money if you get someone in to do it.

We still haven't done the kitchen in our current house because we don't want the upheaval whilst our DC study for exams.

I suspect that you don't want to accept that your ex husband is right.

Also houses have a ceiling price. A terrace with a small footprint and a small garden does not have much potential unless you can extend or go into the attic.

You sound naive about property.

If you do split one bedroom into 2 so that one room does not have a window, I think it will not be counted as a bedroom when you come to sell. Most/all people thinking of buying it would want to turn it back into one room. Also, is it a listed building? If so, you might need permission to make changes inside.

3 bed all the way. I really don’t think you will make tonnes of cash in the small house - it’s cheap because of what it is and will have a real ceiling on price. Plus living in a cramped cottage while also being renovated sounds particularly unfun. Either the village location or sharing could maybe be ok - both sounds pretty dire for your teens, even if they can’t see that now. Don’t do it!!!

I've made it clear to DSs that if we move there they'll have to find their own way back and forth on the bus, no Mum's taxi for me!

This makes it sound like it’s your sons who are really keen on moving to the village, not you!

If the 2 bedroom house was your dream home and you were planning on living there for the next 20 or 30 years then I would say go for it as life is short and you deserve to be happy too. Sharing a bedroom isn’t the end of the world and used to be a very normal thing... I shared with my sister for a couple of years and we have a much bigger age gap than your sons do! It’s not your forever home though, so really I think you should do what is best for your children at the moment, and then think about moving when they’re older. You can’t want to live in the village that badly if you’re planning on buying the house and then selling it in 5 years time?

If the location was ideal then sharing won't harm them BUT by ideal you mean pretty

All the other points lead to the 3 bedroom in town being the ideal location

@Lemoncordial

You sound naive about property.

If you do split one bedroom into 2 so that one room does not have a window, I think it will not be counted as a bedroom when you come to sell. Most/all people thinking of buying it would want to turn it back into one room. Also, is it a listed building? If so, you might need permission to make changes inside.

Not might need - you definitely would need listed building consent for interior alterations.

Even if it’s not listed, you will need building regs approval, and since you can’t escape in a fire from a bedroom with no window, it’ll be a hard ‘no’.

Even if you don’t care about your children, then you need to do a lot more investigation into how you’re going to do this amazingly profitable renovation, when you have almost no scope for improvement.

So what are your ds supposed to do in their chocolate box house in their chocolate box village when not at school? Stay in their 1 room and fight?

Definitely the town. My parents moved out of the lovely village to a town when we were teens - too boring for us to be stuck in the village and no driving us around for them. Some of those who stayed in the village kind of went off the rails a bit - stir crazy.

Why not do up a house in town and move there in 5 years?

Get the house you love if the kids don't mind sharing. But be willing to sell up and move when they get fed up of sharing!

If I went to university at 18 and my mum didn't have a room for me to study in, or invite a girlfriend back to, I would definitely stay at uni as much as possible!

If you don't mind your sons taking their cues from you and trying to leave as soon as they can, crack on. Otherwise go for the town!

@Mooseflake I'd really like to know what you think of the suggestions a - h that I posted at 00:21?

As another comparison (I gave you the position of being 15 mins walk from the place I'd like to be) I'll give you a space/layout/size comparison

My DS and DD have a room each. We have one reception room (a living/dining room). We really need another 'reception' type space so that the DC have somewhere to "be" when they have friends over - bedrooms are small so not really the answer. DS likes to game - board and digital He has hours long D&D sessions with his mates (when allowed!) our house was full of other teenagers eating, drinking and making merry (all 13/14) for up to 6,7,8 hours. We even put tents up in the garden for them to stay over (pre-Covid)

WFH and home learning was difficult as we all sat round the dining table trying to learn and work.

I've said before our house is small but will suit and I'm planning how to make it work if the DC stay with us until mid-late 20s.

This is bigger than your place! It's not really big enough (what I'd give for a 2nd loo somewhere)

I really think you need to put the 5-year needs of your DC first and make a plan for how you will get what you'd like after the exams.

Buy the village house. Location wins everytime.
I can't believe the majority think otherwise. Sounds like you know the area well and if it means you can make some money from it then you have nothing to lose. After all a house is not just a home it's an investment for the future. Your boys will move on before you know it and then you will be perfectly placed to either stay or move. If you get the cheaper house in town you will be rattling around in a house too big and quite possibly in the position of not being able to afford a move to a dream cottage in your dream village.
If the opportunity is there I would grab it while you can.
I am also looking at a cottage for the same reasons hope it's not the same one as me

It's one thing for kids who've never shared to say they don't mind the idea. It's another to actually live with it.

And who could be bothered with the bickering, I've hoovered my half, tell him to hoover his half"

Op clearly isn't thinking this through. I wonder if her single track mindedness is what lead to divorce in the first place. 45mins to school, is the school actually the catchment school for the village?
Will they be travelling that on public transport?

‘The children are excited about the move and happy to share a room’

More like, they know that their extremely selfish mother will sulk if they don’t agree to whatever she wants, so they’re just telling her what she wants to hear for an easy life...