Friend of mine just refused to meet for coffee today as I am a teacher working with Covid infected children all day!

[Quarks69]

After 5 Exhausting weeks of working a 12 hour day every day at a secondary school, I woke up this morning looking forward to a coffee and catch up with A local friend. am now totally stunned and feeling pretty betrayed by her response. This is someone I have known since our kids were born and she is healthy and works from home. is this what most people think?

Yes it’s really good to support each other . Online not a substitute for real life but better than nothing.
Janevaljane - yes I really appreciate meeting friends when possible/allowed, it is possible to do this and be sensible like you say😊.

@FinallyHere

“The rest of us can only do the best we can to avoid making things worse.”

Completely agree, and I do the same as you, for the same reasons but the other way round.

What you’re doing feels kinder than

@standupsitdownturnaround
People for whom having a SD meeting with a asymptomatic teacher is too big of a risk shouldn’t complain if all they are offered for their children is a remote learning. It is possible to do after all, even though not ideal (like most WFH situations). Everyone deserves a safe workplace and teachers are not provided with one, comparing let’s say to medics wearing PPA. I think this thread only proved that.

@Lostalot

OP YANBU. People are happy for us to do these types of jobs to keep the country going, often from their privileged wfh positions/ none working with spouse support. They have the time to watch the news continuously and get hysterical about the virus. They don't want to meet you as you might be 'infected' , they are too busy with a glass of wine in the hot tub ''staying staff' " "saving the NHS". Obviously not everyone is like this but this is a large proportion IMO.

Absolutely - the hypocrisy on schools from parents here is astonishing.

But people who WFH are helping to protect the NHS by staying at home and not meeting people who are more exposed than they are

People are WFH because it suits them or at the moment suits their employers, a business does not have the NHS as a priority. It's fine for people to not want to meet people if they assess their risk and for whatever reason arent happy, but to do so just before you're due to meet a friend seems harsh.

I would avoid being indoors with someone in a high risk job, I'm avoiding indoors generally anyway.

I think it's a fact teachers are at risk

@Letsgetgoing123

I don’t understand why you seem
To take offense that we are isolating. We are both extremely high risk and would like to survive the next few years.

Yes, the families that we have chosen to pod with are all taking the same precautions. That was part of the extensive negotiations to decide if we were a good fit.

I am incredibly thankful to everyone working the front lines of this pandemic. Due to my health, I can’t possibly be one of them. It seems like by isolating myself I am doing my part to avoid someone having to care for me in the ICU. By making alternate arrangements for my daughters education, I am keeping a teacher from needing to be exposed to yet another potential carrier.

The opposite here. The two primary teachers I usually meet opted out of meeting for coffee (outside, at 2m distance as we have done before) because they are concerned about being infected themselves and passing it on. Their school has had to shut a bubble this week, so they are hyper-cautious. I can keep 2m from kids and adults most of the time at work so they felt I am less at risk. We zoomed instead, as we did through lockdown.
I then met a retired friend in pouring rain for a (rapidly diluting!) flat white. I had to undress and change to the skin when I got home - absolutely soaked. We just want to make the most of meeting in person while we still can.

I think older teachers especially are finding it hard to hear how it is far too dangerous for the general public to meet up with them! Not sure what that says about the value of teachers lives.

I'm 53. With a heart condition. And every day I go and teach your kids. With a smile.
But it's starting to slip.

@Terrace58

It’s nothing personal, I can understand your situation.

I get more annoyed by people breaking the rules to be honest.

I suppose it gets a bit frustrating as all of us who are going to work in risky situations have the same feelings of wanting to protect our families, and because of this aren’t able to see vulnerable older family members for months. We are also acutely aware that this could kill us but don’t have the choice to avoid it,.

Absolutely - the hypocrisy on schools from parents here is astonishing.

Let's note that at least some of the more anxious parents would be willing, or even prefer, to continue home-schooling; but are often required to send their children to school. Neither parents nor teachers are altogether free agents.

But I agree that the government is not providing the teachers with nearly enough support and protection.

Parents are not choosing to impose risk on the teachers, nor are teachers choosing to impose risk on the children and therefore their parents. Parents and teachers shouldn't fight each other, but should fight together for better protection in schools. Those of us who teach in higher education mostly get much more protection with face coverings, social distancing, blended learning. Teachers of younger pupils usually get much less protection, but the virus doesn't require proof that someone is over 18 before it can hit them!

@Russiansilver

I think older teachers especially are finding it hard to hear how it is far too dangerous for the general public to meet up with them! Not sure what that says about the value of teachers lives.

The thing is, I entirely agree that it isn't sensible for someone else to meet up with me - an older teacher. In fact, i pro-actively choose not to meet up with them, because I am not sure how much the general public appreciates what a risky environment schools are, and i REALLY don't want to bring that risk into other people's lives.

I reserve my upset and ire for the government, who know perfectly well how unsafe schools are under their guidelines and yet continue to gaslight us by telling us they are safe AND telling us that if we contract the virus it is our fault.

Exactly mumsneedwine. According to many of these replies everybody should be sympathetic to the OPs friends " anxiety". Teachers anxiety ,well they just have to suck it up.

@mumsneedwine

I'm 53. With a heart condition. And every day I go and teach your kids. With a smile. But it's starting to slip.

Oh dear. I am 52 but fortunately not any underlying medical conditions that i know of. I am bricking it. I really worry about it all the time now. 12000 cases plus today :( Fuck.

@cantkeepawayforever

Agree with you on government/schools/safety.

The keeping away from people to protect them will start to wear a bit thin after 6 months of working, especially hearing about loads of others just breaking the rules because they can’t be arsed...

True cantkeepawayforever.
Some of the replies have just seemed unsympathetic to the ops obvious disappointment.

@cantkeepawayforever

Just noticed your username, very apt

[quote Letsgetgoing123]@cantkeepawayforever

Agree with you on government/schools/safety.

The keeping away from people to protect them will start to wear a bit thin after 6 months of working, especially hearing about loads of others just breaking the rules because they can’t be arsed...[/quote]
I haven't met up with anyone socially since March - first lockdown, then I was in school from 1st June so isolated for the same reason as i am doing now, then very strictly quarantined for 2 weeks after the end of term so I could see my very elderly parents for a short support visit.

Yes, there were then a few weeks when I could have met people outside, but for various reasons that didn't happen, and now I'm back in school until the country locks down again or until i have to self-isolate or until there is a vaccine.

It's possible - DH is home at weekends though he works away in the week, I have a teenage DD at home, I chat over Zoom etc - but I won't say it's fun.

@cantkeepawayforever

Yes similar for me, have met friends for walks and outdoor very distanced drinks only. Nothing indoors. The outdoor meetings will presumably stop soon and we’ll be back to zoom.

Seen my parents once since March, did it for a weekend after a week off work and still panicked I’d pass something on unaware. Won’t be able to do again in near future now teens back in school.

I think that we are all dictated by our experience, my neighbour aged 42, a solicitor working from home, only made trips to the local supermarket, and to pick up a child from school and nursery died in April aged 42 leaving a 3 and 7 yr old. No underlying health conditions. Five weeks on a ventilator.

We are rural south-east with a very low Covid rate.

I don't go anywhere I don't absolutely need to go. I do have underlying health conditions.

My neighbours husband and children are besides themselves with grief.

It informs my every move and do not want their experience for my children.

For all those who think it's 'nothing' you are sadly misinformed.

because society and parents (she is one) expect teachers (and nhs staff) to put themselves at risk looking after their children, but aren’t prepared to risk anything themselves to support us, and we are talking the smallest risk here.

I think that YABU. Firstly you say that you have put yourself at risk, therefore deserve to be supported for your sacrifice. Then you say that the risk is very small. You also say that you feel unsupported, but the fact that many are very cautious/risk averse, means that they are helping to reduce the risk that you face. Many others have worked long hours too. The amount of hours that you work should not make you all the more deserving that someone else exposes themselves to risk. Also, people's anxiety /comfort levels differ and I think that you need to appreciate that. To say that you feel betrayed and deserve others to meet you for coffee to support you is, well a bit martyrish if I'm honest. She might also have other reasons for wanting to be cautious, such as maintaining relationships with others who are at risk. It's disappointing when people cancel plans, but to see this as a betrayal is a bit self absorbed to be honest.

@MynamarisBurma

I think that we are all dictated by our experience, my neighbour aged 42, a solicitor working from home, only made trips to the local supermarket, and to pick up a child from school and nursery died in April aged 42 leaving a 3 and 7 yr old. No underlying health conditions. Five weeks on a ventilator.

We are rural south-east with a very low Covid rate.

I don't go anywhere I don't absolutely need to go. I do have underlying health conditions.

My neighbours husband and children are besides themselves with grief.

It informs my every move and do not want their experience for my children.

For all those who think it's 'nothing' you are sadly misinformed.

How devastating. I am so worried. Its not getting better.

YABU because she might have very good reasons to be extra cautious. In my case, for example, I'm a single parent and my company only pays statutory sick leave. If I were to become to sick to work, we'd be in a very difficult situation