Homesick DD locked down in uni room

[RollercoasterRita]

We took our DD to university in the middle of September. She was excited and full of hope. Now due to someone in her halls of residence being tested positive for COVID, her whole floor has been locked down in their tiny rooms with food parcels being delivered to outside their doors. Totally understand the precautions which need to be taken, but my baby girl is lonely and scared and homesick and I just want to drive up there and get her. I feel so helpless....

My grandad when he was alive recounted the stories of the trenches in France during the First World War particular those days when it was snowing , the smell and death all around - not quite the same as your daughter experience

Okay so nobody is allowed to complain about anything any more ever unless they have been in the trenches in WW1 or equivalent. What a daft post.

@tryinghardnottocry

My grandad when he was alive recounted the stories of the trenches in France during the First World War particular those days when it was snowing , the smell and death all around - not quite the same as your daughter experience

I think we can all safely say that this thread has now jumped the shark

Just go and get her. Her lessons will be online so she can study from home.

@strawberrysandpecans

I'm afraid that I acknowledge its difficult. But ultimately, its no different to any other household being expected to isolate.

It's different because most households don't consist of one tiny room.
Most people have lived in their house and in the town/city more than a couple of weeks
Most people will have someone they know nearby, friends, neighbours, relatives

As a shielder it made f all difference having lived here 1 day or 50 years. We were shut off from the world for nearly 4.5 months. So I think that I am more than "qualified" to.Comment. Fwiw we didn't get a grocery delivery for nearly a month from when we first started shielding.

Yes she's in a room, but plenty of people live in studios and bedsits all over the UK. She's getting food brought to her. So in essence, no difference to being in a hotel for a fortnight, except she can focus on her course for 2 weeks and presumably will be well ahead of the curve? If focussed and not watching the crappy daytime TV whilst feeling sorry for herself.

The post etc should be delivered to doors if have thought. And that should be easily remedied.

You need to go and get her and bring her home - I don't think they can stop you. All her coursework should be online and she can just return when things are more back to normal.

Can you not drive up with a nice food parcel?

You can sit on the floor outside her door and chat to her.

I absolutely sympathise at the situation, it’s unfair and in some cases unreasonable in the way it’s being managed.
Thankfully it’s two weeks max of her life.

I agree our students are paying both Financially and emotionally... they have literally been sacrificed and are paying with weeks of their lives.

But I can’t help what our hopeful students actually thought would happen if they had really thought about it. Or the government, or parents. This isn’t a blame game before anyone jumps....This situation is inevitable - throw people from all over the country together in a traditionally party environment, young people with less severe responses to the virus, the walking well and what is going to happen?

@SoloMummy also this 👍🏼

But again it’s not right. I wish your daughter well OP

It’s an awful situation for these young people, but at least it’s only two weeks. Send a lovely care package then follow up days later with nice handwritten letters or cards of support. Keep in touch via technology and see if there’s an online group set up within the halls so your daughter can keep in touch with the other students.They’re all in the same boat. Does your daughter have a mentor? Your daughter should try to keep a routine...maybe Joe Wickes needs to set up keep fit classes for all these isolating students! You probably won’t be allowed to visit near the area but please don’t break the rules as it may cause worse heartache in the long run. I can imagine your concern though. Take care.

Id go and get her if she were mine

But I can’t help what our hopeful students actually thought would happen if they had really thought about it. Or the government, or parents. This isn’t a blame game before anyone jumps....This situation is inevitable - throw people from all over the country together in a traditionally party environment, young people with less severe responses to the virus, the walking well and what is going to happen?

I disagree that it was inevitable. There wouldn't have been an increase in cases if there wasn't already a big increase in cases around the country. I don't see what difference it makes if people are from all over the country versus down the road. Covid is everywhere. Some students might have partied but most haven't. Even though there have wouldn't more at risk in secondary school children in their bubbles of 200 or so. Whilst there has been a rise in some universities it certainly hasn't happened everywhere at all. As long as people isolate this time I don't think it will keep happening either.

My son mentioned he was “starving” this afternoon.
Not quite the same as famine victims in Ethiopia but I still made him a sandwich.

I ❤️This 🤣

If it was me I'd be sorely tempted to bring her home but I still don't think you should. It's beyond shit but you need to support her starting this journey for now. I'm another one saying food packages, anything you can do to keep her going but it won't last forever. Big hug to both of you.

Feel so sorry for locked down uni students but at least they have technology, can go on social media if they have it and videocall!

I generally find that people who have this odd mentality against the student doctors, lawyers, accountants, dentists, teachers, etc of the future are the ones who stayed at home til approximately 27 with mummy and daddy doing their washing.

Its basically house arrest. Its scary enough leaving home at 18 and encountering a plethora of new experiences, without getting the normal socialisation and making friends that usually ease it. Its a social experiment that has never been tried before...

Hopefully it will only be 2 weeks. You might help her stick to a timetable of things to look forward to, such as morning and evening phone calls, regular emails, etc.. I'm sure this has probably been mentioned up thread though.

Your poor daughter. Maybe send her the story of Ann Frank to get her through her 2 weeks in isolation. It might put things into perspective for her

What’s actually scary about leaving home to go Uni though? It’s your peer group, everyone’s there for a good time and you have have money and somewhere to live. A few get homesick but that’s the norm every year. Parents don’t suggest they come home then, they suggest they stick it out a few weeks.

Funny when they go off travelling on their gap year it’s seen as a rite of passage despite being 1000’s miles from home with strangers , illness and discomfort. Yet two weeks stuck on a corridor with a load of other students is considered too much now.

What’s actually scary about leaving home to go Uni though? It’s your peer group, everyone’s there for a good time and you have have money and somewhere to live.

Ah yes everyone is there for a good time and everyone gets along famously. Right? Personally I was lumbered with someone in halls who was fucking horrific, and spent a disproportionate amount of time double checking my door was locked and making sure I wasn't alone with them in any of the communal areas. Got on with everyone else, but I think it's very naieve to think that everyone in halls just gets along and it's a nice pleasant experience where everyone gets along. I would say it was pretty equal when I went the people that enjoyed being in halls and those who detested it.

@Revealall

What’s actually scary about leaving home to go Uni though? It’s your peer group, everyone’s there for a good time and you have have money and somewhere to live. A few get homesick but that’s the norm every year. Parents don’t suggest they come home then, they suggest they stick it out a few weeks.

Funny when they go off travelling on their gap year it’s seen as a rite of passage despite being 1000’s miles from home with strangers , illness and discomfort. Yet two weeks stuck on a corridor with a load of other students is considered too much now.

Depends completely on the person I think. Some love those first few weeks, some take a bit of time to adjust, some decide it really isn't for them, and that's without a pandemic. Getting to grips with a new home in a new town with people you don't know and then being told all about what's expected course-wise.

During the first week that my son started at University there was a suicide, and my son himself had a bit of a crisis of confidence over whether he had made the right decision, nothing to do with being homesick. All we could do was be there for support

Actually not all have money or only there for a good time. Admittedly a good time is a big part but surely it's academia they r there for mainly? I don't know how they have time to have that much fun with workloads. My Dgd indunated with work during fresher's week and that was prelim work!

She was shielded for 16 weeks due to an auto immune condition on her own most if time as single mum doing 12 hour shifts so if she has to isolate 2 weeks will be a doddle after not stepping outside even into garden for 16 weeks with hardly nothing to do. At least they have work to do if isolated ( or should have) to pass the time. We sent her with good for 10 days and every 3 days she tops it up so she always has food in case if isolation.
Having said all that I do feel sorry for the students as it can feel like being in prison. After isolation maybe, just maybe, they will think whilst socialising otherwise they will be in permanent isolation. U can still have fun. My Dgd has and she's quiet and shy but us having fun within her permitted bubble.

Sorry OP, it is a tough situation. My brother was recently in Australia and had to quarantine for two weeks in a hotel room. Food dropped on a table outside the door, three times a day. Yes he had entertainment etc but was still grim.

BUT...I don’t know why people keep saying ‘bring her home’. OP has mentioned that she goes to work. There’s no suggestion that they’ll all be able to self-isolate at home together...

@Scaraffito

What’s actually scary about leaving home to go Uni though? It’s your peer group, everyone’s there for a good time and you have have money and somewhere to live.

Ah yes everyone is there for a good time and everyone gets along famously. Right? Personally I was lumbered with someone in halls who was fucking horrific, and spent a disproportionate amount of time double checking my door was locked and making sure I wasn't alone with them in any of the communal areas. Got on with everyone else, but I think it's very naieve to think that everyone in halls just gets along and it's a nice pleasant experience where everyone gets along. I would say it was pretty equal when I went the people that enjoyed being in halls and those who detested it.

Yes but it’s not any worse than any other scenario you’d have leaving home at 18. And easier than getting a flat share because you’re starting your first job.. That would be a tough lock down. They’ve got their own rooms at least. Boarding schools hear me have got dorms locked down. That’s pretty tough having to share a space with people you don’t know. I know it’s not a competition of misery but they old enough to cope snd young enough to make the best of it.

These young people have put up with enough, the exams fiasco now encouraged to go to uni just so the unis and landlords (capitalist conservative voters on the whole, I am guessing) can get their money. It's absolutely DISGUSTING how the poor young things are being treated. My youngest is 22 and I know how I would have felt if this had affected mine, it's bad enough 2 of them, both working really hard in difficult industries and doing well, have had their hopes of great careers put into doubt. If mine had been at uni I would have been going totally apeshit about the situation and demanding money back etc. I feel for the young people and their parents. It makes me mad just thinking about it.

World War One trenches!

Tryingnottocry - that’s funny!! As long as Boris doesn’t stick us all in the trenches, what’s to moan about, ey?

DO NOT go and bring her home. All you would be doing is increasing risk. She has to be at least 17, and it’s only for 14 days. It’s not the end of the world, although it may feel like it for you both right now.
Yes, it’s tough for students, but it’s tough for everyone right now.
I work in a university, and we, like every institution, have a few cases. We’re working really super hard to support these students in self-isolation, with daily welfare calls, organising food and medicine deliveries, and checking they have what they need. This is from 07:00 - 21:00, 7 days per week. I am giving up part of my weekend to offer this support for students.
I agree that it is tough, but it’s doable. We’re in Scotland, where you’re not allowed to visit another flat/room, and that is being policed quite heavily by our campus security. We have about 60% of our students in nursing & allied health professional programmes, so it’s super important that students are responsible and vigilant - especially when they’re going into NHS, charity, care home, etc sites for placement.
Let’s try to keep it in perspective, and make sure the support being offered is recognised - you don’t need to rush to collect your daughter, and increase risk for everyone.