To expect my dc to get a part time job?

[jobblewobble]

My dc is now 16. She is showing zero interest in getting a part time job. Gets a total of £60 a month from me and her dad, so sees absolutely need.

Obviously she goes to school and she plays a sport two nights per week and one weekend day.

An opportunity has come about which I think would fit round this and she won't find a more local part time job, but she won't entertain the idea.

What would you do? Is it harsh to say "okay fine. X months more pocket money and then it's up to you?"

I didn't have a part time job in school, so feel that is hypocritical, but I also didn't have the social life, mobile phone bill, eyebrows that she has now. I'm happy to contribute and pay for things if she's making an effort too.

She did have a paper round last year, but that fell through when the shop closed.

Does she have time for a job - she needs time to do homework etc.

Personally I’m expecting to give my DC pocket money until they finish school. If they get a job that’s bonus money but I would prefer them to prioritise school and sport.

This is a really tough one for me. I worked from the age of 13 and it can massively impact your academics depending on the amount you're working - and put you at a real disadvantage getting into uni. It obviously teaches you life skills but I think a lot of those come from the motivation to get a job and won't actually come about if she's forced to get one. Yes, you are being a hypocrite but often parents need to be a hypocrite to parent differently from how they were parented.
Personally, I think it would be selfish for you to force her to get a job right now. Many people are unemployed and need jobs to support their families. For her to fill one of those jobs because you don't want to give her pocket money isn't really a fair option. I'd get her to do more around the house if you'd like to stimulate her work ethic.

Why does she need a job if her money covers all that she needs? If you can’t afford it then that’s different but if you can and she’s not spending more than the 60 a month what’s the problem?

If she wants to spend more than 60 a month yes get a job, if not let her concentrate on school.

My dd is 15. She would have absolutely no time for a part time job these days. School is very full on, she gets a lot of homework and has ambitions to do well. Her hobby is music so she has lessons twice a week and sport after school one day a week.
She doesn't get £60 a month. She gets her phone paid for and we are happy to buy new clothes as needed and pay for days out if it comes up.
I think school will get even tougher in the next couple of years so we aren't expecting her to get a job.

I personally wouldn't expect my dd to get a job whilst still in education. I would rather she spend the time figuring out what she wants to do, and enjoying the last of her teenage years.

I think making sure she earns her £60 through household chores would be better. If she's in school/college fulltime and doing homework then that's equivalent to a fulltime job. Not many adults do a full time plus a part time job

I think it is unreasonable on your part, I’m sorry.

I’m not anti part time jobs at all, but for school age children (even if she’s 16) they tend to be poorly paid and do really impact on time to revise and so on.

When my dd was that age she had no time at all for a part time job. And we wanted her to concentrate on her studies so we just paid bankrolled for everything for her. I do appreciate that we're financially able to do this and others aren't.

Since she is in full time education, has extra curricular activities, and needs time for homework, it does seem unreasonable. Let her finish school. You get child benefit for her surely? Unless your income is high, in which case it shouldn't be a worry financially

I had a part time job from 15. One weekend day & 3 hours one evening mid week, didn't interfere with my school work (I was a bit lazy!) but my mum couldn't afford to give me pocket money. I also didn't play sport like your DD does.

Personally as long as she can afford what she wants & you can afford £60 i wouldn't make her get a job because of the amount of time she already spends on non-school stuff.

But! I paid for my driving lessons & cars with money I'd earned (worked full time in school holidays) so I hope you can afford those.

Yes, you are being a hypocrite but often parents need to be a hypocrite to parent differently from how they were parented.

@JunkCrumpet

Wow I'd never thought of it like that before. My DP often says 'but that's not what your parente did with you' when she disagrees with my opinion in a parenting thing and I'd never considered this outlook! Thank you I'm going to steal it!

OP, I think it depends on whether £60 is a big amount of money for you and if you're going without similar personal spends to provide it. And if getting a job will impact on her schoolwork. My elder DC all worked part time at 6th form level but were couldn't have afforded to subsidise the type of lifestyle they wanted. There would have been no fancy eyebrows or top range phones, as I couldn't afford them for myself in the first place never mind pay for them for them too. I think it's an easier decision to make when you can't afford it though, than when you can and its more of a moral decision.

My dds got jobs and it helped them appreciate money. If I want to go out that will be half a days oay etc. The good thing about them was you said if and when they could work, so if they had a busy period they could do less or not work at all.

I think it depends on your circumstances but ideally I’d want my children to avoid jobs during term time until after school was over.

I had a job from 16 as we were utterly broke and mum couldn’t give me money but it honestly impacted my studying, as I took all extra hours I could for the money.

I would be making pocket money contingent on hard work at school and good grades.

I would expect a 16yo to do some chores as part of family life and wouldn’t expect to pay them for it.

Ds13 can get a part time job in a few years or so if he chooses to but no he is not being forced to.

Once he finishes school then we will discuss what happens then (as in not at uni/travelling etc.)

I had one at 16 but it was my choice, dh did not have one till he left school I dont see getting one is a must do thing while still at school

I had to get a job when I was about 13 as I wasn’t given pocket money. I did not enjoy doing that paper round every morning and evening through my teenage years and always swore I would never make a child of mine do same.

I progressed to supermarket work when I was 16, again because I had to. I think the only way you can encourage her to go to work is to make it a necessity for her. However if you are happy to prove an allowance and that is all she needs, then she is making a reasoned decision that she doesn’t need a job right now. Maybe she is doing a less fortunate 16 year old a favour if they, as I did, really needs a job if they want any new clothes or to ever go out.

If she’s git a full timetable at school and is doing her work there to the best of her ability and is out two nights a week and has a weekend commitment I think that’s quite a lot especially if she’s going to be studying for exams. Kids need down time too and having another evening or weekend commitment wound really cut down on that. I think it’s a lot to expect of her.

I’d maybe have specific tasks around the house she can do to earn extra money (if you can afford it) and if not she’ll need to cut her costs accordingly. I expect to support my kids financially at least while they’re in full time schooling. If they want a job I’d support them in that but I wouldn’t be forcing the issue at 16.

Why does she need a job if her money covers all that she needs?

Are you serious? Because once they hit 16 they need to learn responsibility and experience earning their own money.

Not to mention gaining experience in the workplace. A kid who hits 18 having never worked a day in their life will find it very difficult to get a part time job whilst at Uni because employers need to pay them more by that point...and if the choice is between a kid who has worked since 16 and proven themselves and a kid who never has...well, I know who I'd choose.

OP tell her you're cutting her money down by half. When she gets a job, then it goes back up.

Yanbu.employers are continually saying kids out of uni etc lack employment related skills.

If kids really can't fit anything in, their time management is poor. The teen who babysits my kids occasionally works hard at school & has a hobby, she also fits in working in a restaurant on one week night & Saturday. She's a real grafter and saved to buy her own car. I would employ her any day.

I think it’s very important to work. I did as soon as I was of legal age. I continued to achieve academic success and multiple extracurricular activities including two hours a day of music practice. I also enjoyed my teenage years. A few hours a week of paid work don’t detract from any of that.

I went to medical school and worked through that also. I found there was a big difference in maturity between those who worked and had financial responsibilities and those who did not.

My kid will be strongly encouraged to start work early.

My kids got part-time jobs after GCSEs . (They have spring birthdays so turned 16 right before exams)

It's the norm at their school so they didn't need to be pushed and they enjoy the financial freedom

If you feel like she's not pulling her weight as a member of the household then yanbu to address that.

Also it depends what she has to buy out of that money. If you're paying for smartphone, eyebrows etc and she has pocket money on top then maybe let her pay for more of her luxuries and learn to budget responsibly.

If you think she needs a part-time job to give her a taste of the real world then what about volunteering? She'd do some service, learn appreciation for what she has, wouldnt be taking income from someone who has dependents, would learn skills....

I had no clubs or sports thru 6th form but I did have a thriving baby sitting 'cartel' thru word of mouth recommendations. It meant I could do homework there & earn easy money while scoffing choc digestives. I think if she didn't have any sports etc fair enough but she's got a busy enough week plus homework. The eyebrows comment tho ! Made me smile!

My DS has a pt job at McDonald’s but that’s because there is no way I could afford to give him £60 a month.

Make sure she earns that money!!!

I DID work from a very young age (probably because my parents couldn’t afford to give me anywhere near as much pocket money as you give your DD), but even I feel you’re putting a bit too much pressure on your DD. It doesn’t seem like she gets that much free time-when you factor in homework/revision, and it would be a shame if she had to give up her sporting activities to work. Then again instilling some sort of work ethic is important, so I do think she should be helping out at home to earn that pocket money.

I think it depends on her studies. I think you should mention the subject of looking for a job though and set clearly boundaries early on.