She found out her older cousin was working FT and paying dig money and she was stunned at the concept.
This - and the “expensive taste” rather suggests you’ve not done your job in preparing her for the real world!
Have you talked to her/discussed with her about how much bills etc cost? How much you work to give her that money? Have you taught her to connect money with work in a real sense ?
My first conversation with my dd on such matters came about a lot earlier than I’d have liked because of my ex winding her up on several occasions about the maintenance he paid (which he didn’t even pay regularly or in full each month and took several years until first payment!). He gave it “I pay £x every month to your mum for you that’s a lot of money she should buy you x y z from that” arse!
So I ended up having to explain that while it seemed a lot of money to her, it really wasn’t in terms of how much our rent and bills were and certain costs of hers. She had several hobbies at the time that she only thought of in terms of the weekly subs, but I pointed out to her there was also uniform and kit and equipment costs involved, travel costs etc.
Once I showed her it in black and white she understood better and didn’t listen to his nonsense on that subject again!
From that point on she was more understanding and appreciative of how I managed things for us.
Does your dd understand how much you earn? How much you have to pay out for essential costs? Have you taught her anything about budgeting? “Cutting your cloth”?
At the very least I would point out to her how many hours YOU have to work in your job to give her the money you do!
Babysitting is something she could do and study while sitting - loads of teens have done this myself included!
Phone - does she have latest model and top package? Personally I think if so that’s ridiculous and unnecessary - for anyone BUT an adult who earns the money and chooses to do this with the money THEY earned is different to a kid who has this thanks to someone else’s graft! If she has a contracted phone at the moment when the contract ends switch her to sim only (basic package - unless she chooses to top it up out of “her” money) and she has to keep that phone
The eyebrows DEFINITELY should be coming out of her money!
My dd upon finding how much it impacted her money taught herself to do her make up and actually got so good people were paying her to do theirs for special occasions! She made a mint when her friends were all turning 18!
fast fashion clothes that can only possibly be worn once. dd and her friends set up a “swap shop/co-op” type deal where they wouldn’t buy the exact same thing and then swap after they’d been worn. I also taught dd at a relatively young age (out of necessity in my case) how to repair and alter clothes to extend their wear. Friends of hers who would throw a jacket out if it lost a button! Were amazed at her and I turning old too short jeans into shorts or denim skirt, taking worn sleeves off an old top and either making it sleeveless or adding the sleeves from another old top where maybe the body was too short or ended up stained or something. Hell just hemming a skirt with wundaweb quickly cos the hem fell at a crucial time was fascinating to them. So many people - kids and adults are so wasteful with clothes now! Shoes too. I’ve always had metal heel tips added to our smart shoes as soon as they’re bought as the rubber/plastic crap that’s on even expensive shoes now don’t last 5 mins! One friend of dds was going to throw an expensive pair of trainers out JUST because the laces broke!! She had no idea (and neither did her parents!) that you could replace laces - and even get really funky ones! Dd introduces another friend to the wonder of elastic laces (friend kept wrecking her shoes by taking them off using her feet and not even loosening the laces)
@Ijustwantsomebees - to be fair we’re about to head into a likely massive global recession because of covid PLUS Brexit so getting any job is going to get much harder in a way we haven’t really seen since the depression.
I don't think some people realise just how hard you have to study if you want to do well in your exams nowadays actually, as someone who studied both pre and post internet I don’t believe that’s necessarily true. Plus standards are generally lower as far as I (and a number of my friends who are teachers/lecturers/professors) can see.
I worked from 14 part time (mix of babysitting, waitressing, retail), left school at 16 and worked full time plus evening classes to get my a-levels, from then I worked full time apart from when at uni and on mat leave, unfortunately ill health partly due to a bad car accident and serious mh issues have meant I’ve been unable to work for several years which I hate.
Dd has also worked since 14, she did very well at school until also leaving at 16 (not really her choice issues with the school which caused major problems re her disability) then she got a good full time job for a few years and she’s now moved away from home and is back studying again the plan being gaining a profession, and she already has one part time job and is looking for another/something for in the holidays.
The kids her age who’s parents didn’t expect them to work, either in or out the home and subbed them for everything are now having difficulty
A finding work
B keeping their jobs! Because they’re expecting everything handed to them and aren’t willing to do the shitty tasks that are part and parcel of ANY job!
One lass in particular that dd was very close to when they were much younger, has just been kicked out by her parents after losing yet another job because she is partying too much and keeps calling in “sick” when she has a hangover! They’re despairing at her behaviour BUT They’re responsible for how she is because her whole childhood she never had to take responsibility for anything. If she broke something they replaced it, if she asked for something she got it, if she was late/truant from school they excused it...
Yes that’s the extreme end and there has to be a balance but generally speaking at 16 they’re plenty old enough to at the very least understand money isn’t free and neither are the things it buys and to appreciate what they have and that they have those things thanks to the efforts of their parents.