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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be fuming with this teacher.

177 replies

Thedarksideofthemoon30 · 02/10/2020 08:59

Yesterday it was my ds 11th birthday. He went to school so happy.

When he came out he looked so sad. He said the teacher had told him to shut up.

I asked him why she said that and apparently he asked her a maths question during the maths lesson.

We talked and he was still uspet but wouldn’t tel
Me why.

I had 4 mums message me last night asking if he was ok, it turns out another mum had put a post on the class Facebook group saying the teacher screamed at the class that they are all stupid, told ds to shut up and called him dumb.

I asked ds today and he cried saying he felt embarrassed. Apparently this teacher is a support teacher and when the main teacher is in the class she’s normal but as soon as he leaves she’s nasty and mean.

I’m going to ring the school this morning and so are the other mums.

I’m so upset for ds.

OP posts:

ktp100 · 02/10/2020 14:36

You absolutely need to chase this up and ensure that other parents do too

Unfortunately more and more TAs are being forced into leading classes and most are out of their depth.

I would insist on speaking to her too and make it clear that if the same happened again you'll be raising it with your local LEA.

ktp100 · 02/10/2020 14:39

@junkcrumpet not all TAs are good, are they! This was also my experience when teaching. TAs are given so much responsibility now and they're not trained for it!

Report, report, report is absolutely the way to go, and over the head's head if nothing is done - the schools always want to hush things and also want to get away with hiring less teaching staff, which is obviously aided by pushing TAs to lead classes.

Elsewyre · 02/10/2020 14:41

When theres threads like this I always wonder how the OP forgot being a kid?

converseandjeans · 02/10/2020 15:09

YABU to refer to the TA as a teacher. They have likely been told to do a cover lesson to allow the class teacher prep time. The class were probably messing around. Your DS 'only asked a question' - however he may have interrupted, called out, asked while she was speaking etc... It's quite common for children to claim 'I was only...' and when you hear the other side sometimes it's not what it seems.

I would say it's rare for a teacher to randomly say nasty things to students. I think the TA probably isn't managing the class behaviour too well, but then the TA is only paid a TA wage and has no formal training. So whilst they may have been rude - I would imagine the pupils were also being silly. It's not easy controlling a class of 30 students......

It might be worth mentioning to the usual teacher/the head as they might be able to find a different way to get the class covered so they behave properly. However I wouldn't be too critical of the TA covering the class. Obviously a bit out of their depth.

MaeveDidIt · 02/10/2020 15:10

Report her - she's a disgrace.
Hope your DS is ok.

Iamagree · 02/10/2020 15:15

@Ch0colatecake

Thedarksideofthemoon30 Not read all the replies, but the support workers/TA are the worse, I feel the power goes straight to their head.

It's not necessarily this, you have to remember that the TA doesn't have the training the teacher has, and shouldn't really be in sole charge of the class. (and that as PPs have sad, a lot of classes will switch and behave very differently when the teacher isn't in the room). Good behaviour management doesn't just happen, it can be learned and is quite a skill. Still doesn't excuse wilful nastiness or using words like "stupid" though.

Original poster

Thedarksideofthemoon30 · 02/10/2020 15:48

So his teacher rang me and I’m even more annoyed.

He said he wasn’t there yesterday so wasn’t sure what was said or context but he assumes that because he uses humour in his class that this TA was trying to copy him and it didn’t work... 🙃

OP posts:

MeridianB · 02/10/2020 17:07

That’s a totally inappropriate response. Raise with Head.

Willow2017 · 02/10/2020 17:55

Thats pathetic shouting and belittling students isnt in any way humorous.

Speak to the head.

randomer · 02/10/2020 17:57

OK so teacher ( highly trained professional paid appropriately) is on a course for the day. TA ( ASSISTANT) less training/less money is left in charge.
Class use this golden opportunity to play up. TA uses strategy he/ she has observed and fails to engage all learners.
More silly behaviour from the class including your son ( possibly)

Willow2017 · 02/10/2020 18:03

@randomer

OK so teacher ( highly trained professional paid appropriately) is on a course for the day. TA ( ASSISTANT) less training/less money is left in charge. Class use this golden opportunity to play up. TA uses strategy he/ she has observed and fails to engage all learners. More silly behaviour from the class including your son ( possibly)

Of course how silly if us. There are no nasty crappy teachers. (Believe me I have had the misfortune to meet several over the years) Kids had to be playing up.

Well in my son's case they are the top set in maths. Work bloody hard yet teacher still shouts and calls them stupid when it suits him. Will single out a pupil for shit treatment for the lesson.
Likes to think Its funny but its anything but. They all hate him but want to get good grades so say nothing.

SnuggyBuggy · 02/10/2020 18:05

Teacher sounds like a bit of an idiot from what you've said

MitziK · 02/10/2020 18:27

@Thedarksideofthemoon30

So his teacher rang me and I’m even more annoyed.

He said he wasn’t there yesterday so wasn’t sure what was said or context but he assumes that because he uses humour in his class that this TA was trying to copy him and it didn’t work... 🙃

Nah, not good enough. Resend your email to the Head.

I have made reports regarding people who I feel have bullied, intimidated or out and out abused kids in class. I have no time for people who attempt to dominate through fear and assault - because being bellowed at by a huge male clearly out of control is fucking assault, due to what it does to the eardrums. The one that took the longest to be removed was about 5 weeks. 5 weeks of strolling into classrooms on a pretext, where the uproar would instantly hush, 5 weeks of patiently documenting things in real time, of asking a member of SLT if they could take a walk down to see me, so they could be another witness, rather than have it explained away as my being over sensitive (which was hardly likely for me!). 5 weeks of wondering just when the next explosion would come.

I have nothing but contempt for people who do it. I've been happiest in places that have a no shouting policy - and when my current one introduced it with a big training session, it was enlightening to see the few who clearly thought it was the worst idea in the world ever.

At least one of them has, since the Covid Risk Assessments came in, found that shouting isn't necessary to maintain order - strangely enough, this has coincided with the classroom doors all being open and they are within earshot of SLT offices, rather than being isolated.

InFiveMins · 02/10/2020 19:07

I wouldn't want to go off something said by an 11 year old.

Perhaps she told him to shut up because he was being disruptive or asking a question when it wasn't the time to be asking questions?

Really doubt a support teacher would call them all 'stupid' and 'dumb' - sounds like immature words said by a load of kids making stuff up.

randomer · 02/10/2020 21:10

I didn't say there were no poor teachers. Of course there are.
The incident was about a TA.

Nanny0gg · 03/10/2020 10:46

Now speak to the HT.

Spotify82 · 03/10/2020 12:49

@randomer

OK so teacher ( highly trained professional paid appropriately) is on a course for the day. TA ( ASSISTANT) less training/less money is left in charge. Class use this golden opportunity to play up. TA uses strategy he/ she has observed and fails to engage all learners. More silly behaviour from the class including your son ( possibly)

I do agree with you. As I've highlighted children do misinterpret things and their version of what happened very different to the actual version. This is why you SHOULDA get to the bottom of it without judgement first.

CloudyGladys · 03/10/2020 13:25

Headteacher next.

As this was a complaint about a member of staff, it should have been the headteacher contacting you rather than the teacher, who is another member of staff. (Unless headteacher was unavailable and class teacher is also deputy head, which you don't mention).

The timings from your posts look as though no one will have had a chance to investigate this properly before ringing you back.
Did class teacher talk to your DS?

randomer · 03/10/2020 13:49

Teacher seems to have been on the phone very quickly.

thirdfiddle · 03/10/2020 13:55

I'm glad you said that cloudy. When i had a similar issue, the teacher who was shouting themself was the one that contacted me. Excruciating interview for both of us. Should have been her line manager. To her absolute credit, she did manage to turn things round after that, but it should not have been a parent having that conversation.

Wwydiywm · 03/10/2020 14:01

It's very common for TAs to go too far. They are paid shockingly little money and have no training really, but with schools' stretched budgets, are often used as cover rather than supply teachers.
It is however also very common for children's perceptions to be skewed.
Of course talk to the school, but please be sympathetic to the above.

MayIJustAsk · 03/10/2020 14:06

Now that is awful and that teacher shouldn't be in charge of a class.

MayIJustAsk · 03/10/2020 14:08

I commented on something the other day as my son had a TA in primary who used to scream at the class so badly a parent had to knock on the door at pickup to get her to calm down.

MayIJustAsk · 03/10/2020 14:13

Just to point out a good teacher though, now my sons at big school the teachers are so much kinder they dont shout at the kids they talk, and one of my sons male teachers got abit annoyed with the class once then apologised to them! My son said he wasnt horrible or anything but he felt he disrespected them but getting worked up and apologised. The kids love him. Do go to the head teacher OP.

randomer · 03/10/2020 16:49

It's very common for TAs to go too far.

Now that is awful and that teacher shouldn't be in charge of a class

so which is it? Because a TA is not a teacher?

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