To be fuming with this teacher.

[Thedarksideofthemoon30]

Yesterday it was my ds 11th birthday. He went to school so happy.

When he came out he looked so sad. He said the teacher had told him to shut up.

I asked him why she said that and apparently he asked her a maths question during the maths lesson.

We talked and he was still uspet but wouldn’t tel
Me why.

I had 4 mums message me last night asking if he was ok, it turns out another mum had put a post on the class Facebook group saying the teacher screamed at the class that they are all stupid, told ds to shut up and called him dumb.

I asked ds today and he cried saying he felt embarrassed. Apparently this teacher is a support teacher and when the main teacher is in the class she’s normal but as soon as he leaves she’s nasty and mean.

I’m going to ring the school this morning and so are the other mums.

I’m so upset for ds.

• WARNING I AM DYSLEXIC.

I have had similar on 2 occasions. A bit of background DD9 has severe anxiety and OCD that manifests into repetertive behaviours and she really does not respond to shouting as it triggers her OCD one part of this is coughing she has asthma so coughs due to that but she also coughs when she is anxious or nervous. Despite all of this she is a very well behaved little girl always does well at school and has never been into trouble before at school and never been put on the warning system .

First occasion my DD8 at the time moved to a new school, she was anxious about starting the new school and we had move areas and moved away from the home she was born in and away from family and friend. I also spent several weeks in hospital having an op on my brain prior to her starting school.

The school told DD that they don't do shouting they deal with things in a calm manner. Anyway her first day she came and I went to pick her up. I was smiling waiting to see her and I instantly new something was wrong. She came over to me abs was dead silent. I asked her what the matter was and she didn't want to tell me.

When we got to the car she eventually told me that a teacher assistant had shouted in the classroom all day. She said she asked to use the toilet and said the teacher screamed at her and told her don't think you can use bad behaviour in my school I will get the devil out of you again saying this by screaming.

My DD was terrified and bear in mind I was recovering from a brain operation. So I went into reception and asked to speak to the head! Said I was disgusted at the way my DD had been treated, I spoke with the deputy head and soon as I started relaying the story I burst into tears I was so emotional.

Anyway the head teacher spoke to me the following morning and told me he will deal with said teacher and told me it would never happen again. He spoke to DD and kept checking on her to reassure her throughout the day. The teacher was disciplined and apologised to DD she told DD that her husband had just been diagnosed with cancer and explained that she was tired from not sleeping due to worrying that day and it would never happen again. School dealt with it amazingly.

Second time - start of this term DD now 9 started yr5 with a new class teacher. She was so excited to go back as she loves school and has missed over lockdown.

Again she came out and could see she was upset. She said the new teacher didn't like her and he shouted at her all day she said he told her he will be watching her and she will be spending time In the head teachers office is she didn't stop coughing she isn't confident enough to tell an anger adult that she can't help coughing.

She refused point bland to go back to school so I sent the head teachers a message. We had a meeting with him first thing the next morning and he explained to DD that the teacher had come from a school where all the children are very naughty so he had decided that in the first week he would be firm with the children. He asked DD to give the teacher another chance and she said she would. Said teacher apologised to DD and now she loves the teacher.

Keep on a the school go to the office and don't move until you speak with someone. That teacher abused your son you're his voice!!

LolaSmiles

I've done a lot of supply.

A year 9 once asked me, "Miss do you take it up the arse?" Not something I thought I'd be asked in a maths class. I ignored but passed it on to the appropriate person, I bet he claimed he was, 'just asking a question'.

It's also amazing that if you ask for a number between 1-100 they always pick 69.

My best supply classes (other than long term) are when I catch someone out early on. Eg ask everyone to sit in their places according to the seating plan (they don't know I have a copy). Once all seated I start the register. One name in and I can often say, "you get a 10 min detention / a consequence / pick school's behaviour policy"

Then they have 20 seconds to sit in their actual allocated seat. It's a sort of, "OK you caught us out, but it's a fair cop".

blissfulllife

That's terrible your poor dd.

The class teacher won't be the teaching assistant's manager. Go straight to the head (or assistant head, deputy, anybody senior). This needs dealing with - today.
Why does the teacher not see the urgency of this? I'd be furious if I found out a TA had done that to my class.

@Alexkate2468

Agree with pps about asking the school for clarification and for them to investigate here. I’ve never known any teacher or TA during my time working in education behave like this. I’ve seen them snap and shout and perhaps go a bit too far, but never to the extent of name calling and telling children to shut up. It sounds like something else is going on here. That doesn’t make it okay that she did it. It needs to be dealt with but how it’s dealt with could be really important.

it happens though. I have witnessed (when a child) teachers calling kids stupid and one time a boy at the front of the class called stupid and hit on the head with his book. That was the 90s so we're not talking corporal punishment days.

sashh Oh My God. I know exactly the kind of atmosphere you mean .. but that question

My worst memories are of the nice kids looking at me with a kind of “I feel for ya but what can I do in front of my mates?” sort of expression. You’ve got to be careful not to favour them or land them in it as a teacher’s pet or the like. I do remember one really lovely kid, mature beyond his years (about 14 at the time I think) in a really unfortunate situation where two schools were amalgamating. Morale was low for everyone, not least staff. I was being given a really hard time by a teenager who looked and seemed as hard as nails and could have probably beaten Jason Statham in a fist fight.

Nice kid sort of whispered to me “Don’t worry Miss, it’s not just you.” Which eked our just enough faith in human nature to get me through the lesson without sobbing.
Happy Days.

Thedarksideofthemoon30 Not read all the replies, but the support workers/TA are the worse, I feel the power goes straight to their head.

sashh
You're braver than me. I wouldn't like doing lots of supply. Internal cover is enough for me.
69 is obviously the best number and no other student in the world must ever have thought of that one

madcow88
They are awful experiences.
However, showing up and refusing to leave unless someone comes out isn't the best way for the OP to respond to this situation.

In normal times it's the sort of thing that doesn't tend to work because, at least most places I've worked, what happens is a senior member of staff comes to inform the parent that they need to make an appointment. On Mumsnet it seems to be the go to answer for everything but in my experience all that happens most of the time is the parent is told to make an appointment and then in the staff meeting everyone is told not to engage with the parent and to pass anything to a nominated person (usually head of year) who will be the parent's sole point of contact.

During Covid, many schools are even tighter on visitors so standing in reception demanding to be seen by someone senior is even more silly.

Oh no surprise to hear it was a maths teacher. They are a special kind arsehole aren’t they? I had a maths phobia for years because of them. As an adult I’ve realised that actually I’m not as bad at maths as I thought I was and it was just their poor teaching methods that were to blame.

@LolaSmiles

I expect your son asked her a maths question she couldn’t answer. Totally unacceptable, please report her. She is out of her depth. There's absolutely no evidence for this at all. Shit like this doesn't actually help posters get resolutions with school.

As a teacher I can think of several possible situations, and none of them involve deciding that a whole class must have been yelled at because a member of staff must not know the answer to a maths question asked by one student.

Sadly I know this does happen as I've seen it with my own eyes.

TA in a maths lesson, unable to follow the lesson plan, so started shouting at students.

@Rhine

Oh no surprise to hear it was a maths teacher. They are a special kind arsehole aren’t they? I had a maths phobia for years because of them. As an adult I’ve realised that actually I’m not as bad at maths as I thought I was and it was just their poor teaching methods that were to blame.

Where does the OP say it was a maths teacher?!

As far as I can tell, it was a teaching assistant in a primary school.

I've also seen teachers struggle with Maths, at the top end of primary. Unfortunately if you get a staff member who finds Maths tricky and a pupil who loves Maths, it isn't always a happy mix.

The class wouldn’t play up if they respected and liked her, they play up because of the opposite.

I've been a classroom teacher for 20 years. I've won awards for teaching. Classroom management is my strongest area- newbies always get sent to me for advice. Even kids I think are fab, who like and respect me more than any other teacher will act up for me sometimes.

TAs are paid a derisory amount for what they do and often receive far too little training. The majority of TAs I've worked with struggle with whole class management because it is not something they've ever been taught and it's a very difficult skill- probably the single biggest reason people fail teacher training.

Oh no surprise to hear it was a maths teacher. They are a special kind arsehole aren’t they? I had a maths phobia for years because of them.

What, all of them? No wonder you struggled if you had 27,000 different teachers, over 5 years, in one subject.

TAs are generally lovely so I am not getting at TAs. But I have been on Supply Teaching with the children sat on the mat, getting along famously with the children being respectful and learning well when in has walked the class TA ( late from playtime and no she was not on duty) She has immediately interrupted our calm proceedings by shouting at a child who was not sitting corrrectly ! It was as though she needed to show her authority to the children because I was just the Supply Teacher. Such a shame that there are people like that and I may be wrong but suspect that that is what has happened here. She suddenly had authority.

This brings back memories. It was the end of the sixties and the last year of primary. Arithmetic as it was called then wasn't my strongest subject but when not grasping something the teacher was saying I asked for it explained and they took me by the shoulders and shook me. They would be sacked for this now.

That is shocking behaviour tbh. I would complain formally in writing, but unsure what else can be done at this point. Honestly, some people are really not cut out for being teachers, I am one of such people, I have very low patience so could never go into such a profession.

Horrendous, even if your DS was being naughty (not saying he was). That's not the way to speak to children!

Surely it’s within a primary teacher’s skill set to be able to teach primary level maths? If not, then they shouldn’t be teaching the older years or the children put into sets with the appropriate teachers assigned.

That aside, a teacher should never shout, humiliate or belittle a chid, no matter how cheeky they have been.

Surely it’s within a primary teacher’s skill set to be able to teach primary level maths?

The OP is talking about a TA, not a teacher!!

@Redlocks28

Surely it’s within a primary teacher’s skill set to be able to teach primary level maths?

The OP is talking about a TA, not a teacher!!

It doesn't always follow that the class teacher is better at maths. TA friend of mine was telling me recently about her horrible dilemma when the class teacher confidently told the class that 10% of 100 was 1.

@LolaSmiles

Speak to the school and find out more facts before being furious.

Your child's birthday is irrelevant in this situation though. What matters is whether the member of staff has been unprofessional.

For example there is a huge difference between:
A) Screaming and telling at a class and telling them they're all stupid and dumb
And
B) A member of staff raising their voice to an appropriate level as a classroom management technique and telling a class to stop asking stupid questions because the students have decided that as it's not their usual teacher they can play up.

I know from talking to my own students how easily B can get turned into A, especially when it's a cover lesson and students (who are nice and know exactly how to behave) start trying it on with the cover staff.

That's not saying A never happens, sometimes it does, but as a teacher and parent my gut instinct would be to have a conversation with the school before getting annoyed.

I agree here. Never ever tell a pupil to shut up when asking a question. That's awful and must be investigated. I've heard teachers say it with kids they have a good relationship with, on my placement my mentor was short a d trying to reach the trays. The kids were joking saying ah miss do you need a few inches. She was laughing and tur ed around, while laughing and said shut up you. I found it uncomfortable, but the kids were laughing.

However on one occasion I had a class of kids behaving really badly so I stopped and raised my voice to settle them. Hands up was not even being noticed they were so out of control. I said to them, now I know if your parents walked in saw your behaviour they would be ashamed, I know they bought you up better than this.' I went home and had got an email from pastoral saying a kid went home saying miss said my parents clearly have not bought me up properly. The whole class stood by me and said that was not true.

Number 2. I had a boy shouting at me, so I ignored him and continued to. He was referring to me as 'man's saying things like chill woman you're not listening. He asking me to 'move get out the way' I heard him mutter bitch. Very extremly rude. Then he shouted at me saying I wasnt listening to him. I told him very calmly that if he spoke to me respectfully I would answer even his stupid questions, however barking questions and orders at me will not get a good response. He went away and said I told him he was barking like a dog.
It was again a nine issue. The head spoke to me, kids backed me up. I did explain that me saying barking orders at me was a figure of speech and she agreed. However I wouldn't use that phrase again as children will misinterpret.

Now I am NEVER EVER saying your child did this. What I am saying is sometimes children can misinterpret things. There is no excuse still to be shouting or calling a child stupid ever! However when I say kids ask stupid questions like

Miss you married you got a man?. Stupid questions like that. I work in an extremly challenging school where pupils swear at teachers and wish they die of cancer and a spear goes through their heart. They say this in their language. They walk up to us with fists. When we differentiate work they call us racist. Yet I have still never called a child stupid. That's wrong on every level.

However i have said things like take that's stupid smile off your face.

There was an image that a pupil made a sexual remark about and i said stop making stupid comments.

However again. Do investigate as it's unacceptable. Try to get to the bottom of what happened.

@Redlocks28

Surely it’s within a primary teacher’s skill set to be able to teach primary level maths?

The OP is talking about a TA, not a teacher!!

I know... I was responding to ReapeatSwan’s comment that the have seen primary teachers struggle with maths at the top end of primary.

You'd be surprised at how hard end of primary maths is to teach. Bear in mind some pupils are being taught at secondary level at this age if they're advanced so effectively outside of teachers official training.

@Sarah24680

You'd be surprised at how hard end of primary maths is to teach. Bear in mind some pupils are being taught at secondary level at this age if they're advanced so effectively outside of teachers official training.

Exactly, which is why maths at the top end of primary should be taught in sets. This allows the more able pupils to be stretched by someone who enjoys the subject and has an understanding of what is required secondary stage.

If she’s behaving like that then she’s not in the right job. In 16 years of teaching I have never called a student a nasty name or felt the necessity to scream at a class. I’ve worked at some tough schools and I’ve had students say some pretty shocking things in an attempt to be funny, but you never resort to personal insults or screaming. That sort of behaviour is completely wrong and a sign that this person cannot successfully manage a class.

Get in touch with the head, ask them to clarify but be clear that you are very unhappy and you expect them to investigate and deal with the TA. Your poor son. Even if he’s interrupted the TA, she has no right to speak to him like that.

Pay peanuts, get monkeys. Why is the teacher leaving the room?