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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Shouted at in Lidl

262 replies

WheresTheFire · 01/10/2020 13:53

This morning I went to Lidl, I had a large trolley full and queued up behind a lady. I didn't put anything on the belt and kept back.
An elderly gentleman was behind me with 3 or 4 items in a basket. He had a walking stick so I asked him if he wanted to go in front of me. He thanked me and put his shopping on the belt.
He was at least a metre away from the lady and we all had masks on.
Well, the woman went ballistic, shouting at us and wagging her finger shouting at us to keep away and dont we know theres a virus about and it's not funny etc etc.
I'm afraid I shouted back saying if shes that worried maybe get her shopping delivered.
I felt so sorry for the gent, he didnt know what had hit him.

OP posts:

saraclara · 01/10/2020 16:07

So the woman was within her rights to ask him to move away. I don't care if someone wants to stand a metre away, I want them double that distance.
If you want them to stand further away than the accepted 1m+ (with the extra mitigation of a mask) then one would hope you'd ask them politely and pleasantly, rather than scream at them @loutypips

HariboLectar · 01/10/2020 16:07

Possibly my favourite MN diagram yet

Howlooseisyourgoose · 01/10/2020 16:07

What would you have said @Llewji? As @Topseyt says, OP's response was perfect.

Zeebeezee · 01/10/2020 16:10

Some people will just do this type of thing Covid or not. They are a bit nuts and/or have control isssssuuuuues.

Just remembered that in the Q at Aldi last week I winked at the till man and he burst out laughing. That's what mask wearing does, LOL. We both laughed. A lot!

Brefugee · 01/10/2020 16:14

So the woman was within her rights to ask him to move away. I don't care if someone wants to stand a metre away, I want them double that distance.

And a normal person would say "would you mind moving back so there's 2m between us" (add please if you like) and a similarly normal person would say "oops, sorry, of course"

FWIW: the distance here in Germany seems to vary between 1.5m and 2m and in supermarkets when the queues get long it can get a bit close but in all this time i haven't seen any slanging matches like this. Someone did get too close behind me once in Aldi early on and before i could ask them to move back (pre masks) the cashier asked them to. And we all smiled at each other and said how this Covid-thing was going to take some getting used to.

Lweji · 01/10/2020 16:16

What would you have said @Llewji?

I hope no poor soul has received an email with your post.

Anyway... I have stated what I'd have said earlier. But in addition to it, I probably would have said there was no need to shout. Even better to point out, as a pp mentioned, that shouting is as bad as standing too close.
It's just a shout, from over a meter away. Not physical aggression.
Apart from the risk of perforated eardrums, shouts don't harm.

And rather than stew on it
Clearly, shouting back didn't help the OP, as she'll still stewing about it here.

dottiedodah · 01/10/2020 16:17

Poor old boy! honestly this pandemic is bringing out the very worst in some of us it seems .

loutypips · 01/10/2020 16:21

Of course you'd ask politely, but often when you do they look at you like you've got two heads! It's usually ignored. Unfortunately, some people only move if you're firm (which can seem angry!). They don't care, which is why they are too close to start with.
Also, by the twentieth time of asking it can get tiresome.
For all the OP knew she might've had to ask him to move away before around the store.

cologne4711 · 01/10/2020 16:25

It's a mean and nasty thing to say to someone who is just trying to observe guidelines and it says a lot about the people who use it

It really depends whether people are brushing against you or coming too close (it genuinely hasn't happened to me once in a shop, although I accidentally did it to someone I was running with - we are still meant to stay apart and he managed not to yell at me, so I am not sure why you need to yell at strangers - just turn your face away, the virus can't leap from them to your back to your face) or whether you have decided that you need about 10m around you rather than 2. It's not realistic in a lot of shops anyway, the aisles simply aren't wide enough.

JacobReesMogadishu · 01/10/2020 16:27

1m isn't really enough. It's meant to be 2m where you can. So squeezing people in between people isn't a good idea.

But yeah she shouldn't have shouted. But you shouldn't have shouted back. Telling her she should get her shopping delivered was wrong and not nice. She should be able to go out shopping and people keep their distance.

bigbluebus · 01/10/2020 16:27

The floor markings in my local Lidl store clearly show you should be 2m away at the till. The rule is still 2m - unless it's unavoidable (in which case it's 1m as long as you're wearing a mask and not face to face). I'm sure there was plenty of space to be 2m apart. I've stopped letting people go in front of me in Lidl for this very reason.

I am mostly quite tolerant of other people's behaviour out and about but Covid has made me want to yell at a few people who get too close unnecessarily. I actually got told off by a staff member at a till in Sainsburys a few weeks ago because I wasn't standing on the actual floor markings at the till even though I was 2m away from everyone and their cashier was behind a screen!

ThePluckOfTheCoward · 01/10/2020 16:28

@HariboLectar

Possibly my favourite MN diagram yet

Agreed, top marks for the diagram and the ponytail.

PeskyRooks · 01/10/2020 16:28

[quote VeganVeal]@DumplingsAndStew
Sorry I did mean Lidi, got confused between the two. I only use Waitrose and Ocado.[/quote]
Peak mumsnet.

Original poster

WheresTheFire · 01/10/2020 16:33

Thanks for the diagram praise my first ever!
In all honesty I was probably well over 2 metres away from shouty woman, the conveyor belt is quite long.

OP posts:

Harrysmum2020 · 01/10/2020 16:36

I had similar with a man in a takeaway he was standing right behind me not on the red spots for social distancing I stepped back not realising and he started shouting believe me I shouted back as well that he should stand on the red circles not behind me some people are just dickheads Covid just giving them more of an excuse you done the right thing

Lipz · 01/10/2020 16:37

The beauty of wearing masks in situations like this is you can stick your tongue out and then mouth "Cunt" and no one is the wiser.

VinylDetective · 01/10/2020 16:39

@Shedbuilder

What a patronising put-down, OP. I hope you really are sorry for using it.

Every time I've asked people who've reached round me and touched me, or brushed past me, or bumped into me to stand back and give me space they've used that patronising line: 'If you're too scared to be out in public maybe you should get someone else to shop for you/ have a delivery.' It's a mean and nasty thing to say to someone who is just trying to observe guidelines and it says a lot about the people who use it.

I completely agree. It’s incredibly disrespectful to someone who feels uncomfortable. I hope you’re proud of yourself.

ravenmum · 01/10/2020 16:42

Was it a bit like the Trump/Biden debate?
A metre is not very far, tbf.

newnameforthis123 · 01/10/2020 16:45

Sorry I did mean Lidi, got confused between the two. I only use Waitrose and Ocado.

This is the most MN response ever to an error being light heartedly pointed out

SleepingStandingUp · 01/10/2020 16:51

Yanbu to let the man go ahead or to be annoyed, rather brings you don't to her level to shout at her.

EasyAndy101 · 01/10/2020 16:52

The "well get your shopping delivered" line is such bullshit regardless of your view of how she handled the situation.

Shouting was wrong, but she has as much right to be shopping there as anyone. Maybe the people who know they'd be incapable of observing distancing should have shopping delivered? I mean if you're going to make one group of people feel unwelcome in a shopping environment it stands to reason it should be the people that don't observe the basics

OfficeMonkee · 01/10/2020 16:54

Yanbu, lots of the supermarkets deliver, she should do that if she's going to be rude and hysterical

Howlooseisyourgoose · 01/10/2020 16:54

@Harrysmum2020

Well done! Twat! What was his response?

SleepingStandingUp · 01/10/2020 16:55

@OfficeMonkee

Yanbu, lots of the supermarkets deliver, she should do that if she's going to be rude and hysterical

Maybe she can't afford £40 orders and delivery charges.

SleepingStandingUp · 01/10/2020 16:57

@OfficeMonkee

Yanbu, lots of the supermarkets deliver, she should do that if she's going to be rude and hysterical

Maybe she doesn't need £40 worth of food. Even if she makes it up with frozen and toned, she'll still need fresh food every week

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