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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Shouted at in Lidl

262 replies

WheresTheFire · 01/10/2020 13:53

This morning I went to Lidl, I had a large trolley full and queued up behind a lady. I didn't put anything on the belt and kept back.
An elderly gentleman was behind me with 3 or 4 items in a basket. He had a walking stick so I asked him if he wanted to go in front of me. He thanked me and put his shopping on the belt.
He was at least a metre away from the lady and we all had masks on.
Well, the woman went ballistic, shouting at us and wagging her finger shouting at us to keep away and dont we know theres a virus about and it's not funny etc etc.
I'm afraid I shouted back saying if shes that worried maybe get her shopping delivered.
I felt so sorry for the gent, he didnt know what had hit him.

OP posts:

Lweji · 01/10/2020 14:47

You weren't shouted at. The man was.

Anyway... getting food delivered is not as easy as that. She may not be able to afford it, or be able to be at home easily to receive it, or may not be keen on having replacements or missing items that would make her go to the supermarket anyway. Or she needed some items that couldn't wait for a delivery.

She didn't have to shout at anybody, but as much as she should have been more tolerant there, perhaps you can be a little bit more tolerant of her too. You didn't need to get involved or shout back. Perhaps just point out that he had a walking stick and it was easier for him to just put his things on the belt.

SodaPerson · 01/10/2020 14:47

This is why I prefer to shop at M&S....much more orderly.

littledrummergirl · 01/10/2020 14:50

Every time someone brushes past me "fucks sake, ignorant shits can't fucking wait. So much for personal space. Fucking fuckwits" is my involuntary response. I don't like shopping, can you tell.
I notice they tend to stay away from me from then on.

Flaunch · 01/10/2020 14:51

I’d have told her to fuck off.

stickygotstuck · 01/10/2020 14:52

@contrmary

I'm not sure what else you expect - I have seen customers being rude/obnoxious/aggressive to one another on just about every visit I've ever made to Lidl. There's something about the place that attracts the worst of humanity. Not just the pricing, I think it's the crammed in nature and frequently unfair queuing system that pisses people off.

That may be so in your local Lidl. Mine is the most pleasant of the local supermarkets. I have my own theory that the larger a supermarket is the worse customers' behaviour tends to be. I think the siege mentality comes over them, in an 'I'll never get out of here!' way

WeAllHaveWings · 01/10/2020 14:52

You were both being unreasonable shouting at each other like old fishwives, you should maybe learn how to diffuse situations rather than inflame them especially in the current climate.

VeganVeal · 01/10/2020 14:52

@DumplingsAndStew
Sorry I did mean Lidi, got confused between the two. I only use Waitrose and Ocado.

raddledoldmisanthropist · 01/10/2020 14:53

You weren't shouted at. The man was

Sure, I mean it's not like the OP was there- how would she know what happened better than a random MNer?

She didn't have to shout at anybody, but as much as she should have been more tolerant there, perhaps you can be a little bit more tolerant of her too.

Great advice for life there- just tolerate aggression, especially when it's directed at the vulnerable. #bekind

loutypips · 01/10/2020 14:54

Well he should have been 2 metres away, not just one.

BringPizza · 01/10/2020 14:56

There's something about the place that attracts the worst of humanity how very fucking dare you that said i prefer Aldi cos it's cheaper, and our Lidl is a bit useless in comparison.

OP good for you. Some people are really losing it, god knows what state they'll be in when it's Christmas shopping time.

MyPantsAreGreen · 01/10/2020 14:57

I got told off for putting my shopping on the conveyor last week at least 2 metres probably more away from the cashier and previous customer. In Sainsbury’s. Lidl I find a lot more relaxed! This crisis has brought the best and worst out in people - I have witnessed a decades worth of bad behaviour, rudeness and irrationality in the last 6 months.

DumplingsAndStew · 01/10/2020 15:00

I love how snobby some people are when there's a supermarket discussion. Mumsnet at its best

Lweji · 01/10/2020 15:00

@raddledoldmisanthropist

You weren't shouted at. The man was

Sure, I mean it's not like the OP was there- how would she know what happened better than a random MNer?

She didn't have to shout at anybody, but as much as she should have been more tolerant there, perhaps you can be a little bit more tolerant of her too.

Great advice for life there- just tolerate aggression, especially when it's directed at the vulnerable. #bekind

It was based on what the OP said. She only reacted when the man put his things on the belt.

And yes, reacting aggressively is the best way to address aggression.

You also conveniently missed the last part of my post "Perhaps just point out that he had a walking stick and it was easier for him to just put his things on the belt."

Answering in a mature way rather than shouting back is not tolerating aggression. Shouting back is "not tolerating" either, it's just reinforcing aggression.

Spam88 · 01/10/2020 15:02

Well I think shouty woman is getting a hard time here. No she shouldn't have shouted, but there is a global pandemic and the man went closer than 2m. I don't think it's fair to say that you shouldn't leave your house if you're not happy with people ignoring the law.

Laiste · 01/10/2020 15:05

I've only witnesses one 'covid row'. I was in a queue for the till in Tesco recently when a woman started yelling at a man (both 40s.)(if it matters) about keeping his distance. He'd passed closer than a meter but was walking with his trolly to get round the end of the isle and she was stood browsing wine. Both in masks. He passed her and she started laying into him about THINKING and USING HIS HEAD and being fucking selfish.

It was bizarre tbh. He was sort of struck dumb at first because up that end of our tesco it's always a bit tricky to stay more than a meter away as everyone gets in line for the tills or goes up the wine aisles. And there were loads of other people passing each other closer than a meter.

He found his voice and she left her trolly and started going towards him and you know when everyone's listening but tries to pretend they're not, well it reached that point where everyone gave up being polite, stopped what they were doing and just gawped at the pair of them. Cashiers as well. A bloke was about to step in and calm her down when she flounced off.

Everyone did the eyebrow raise thing to each other and that was that but i felt bad for the man who got shouted at.

Mellonsprite · 01/10/2020 15:05

There’s a way to do this, not yelling, very politely and firmly ask them to step back please as you want to observe proper social distancing. Please being the key word.
I’ve done it and yes it was uncomfortable and the women I asked moaned under their breath but no one needed to shout, and they needed to stop drifting right up to me.

amieejust · 01/10/2020 15:07

I would have ignored her or pretended to be hard of hearing and asked her to speak up.

Or just told her to fuck off.

Howlooseisyourgoose · 01/10/2020 15:07

@contrmary

I don’t often go to Aldi and Lidl as both are longer than 3 miles away (and they seem to have queues in the rare event I drive by) but I’ve always found the etiquette there that you let someone with a couple of items go ahead of you you in the queue quite sweet. Not sure how they can be considered the worst of humanity.

CandidaAlbicans2 · 01/10/2020 15:08

Whenever I hear stories like this I think that the C-19 situation is really getting to many people, negatively affecting their mental health, and that it comes out in these sorts of outbursts. Yes, she was rude and aggressive, but I suspect she'd having a hard time coping. Or she could just be an utter twat. Who knows.

iklboo · 01/10/2020 15:11

Distancing is 'one metre plus' in England.

SideAfries · 01/10/2020 15:12

YANBU. Had experiences myself. No common sense some people, just any excuse to have a moan & be self righteous.

bruffin · 01/10/2020 15:17

Did you sign up just for this thread?

Shedbuilder · 01/10/2020 15:17

[quote WheresTheFire]@Shedbuilder....nobody brushed her, touched her or reached round her!!
The gent was at least a metre away, and I was behind him. She was very rude and there was no need for her outburst.
I was not patronising[/quote]
No, but you took her down with a patronising remark that didn't address the situation. Far better to rationally point out that you and the gent were both well away from her. She's scared. Lots of people are. Particularly older people who've been living on their own for months.

Telling someone that they shouldn't be out/ should stay at home and have a delivery is just mean. It's become the sneery go-to put-down for anyone who reminds people to stand back.

FredaFrogspawn · 01/10/2020 15:21

We had a humdinger of a blow-up in our road yesterday - older women, middle aged men, shocked young woman, a passing alarmed dog... it went on for ages - there was shouting and yelling and cursing. We’re usually a quiet little area. No idea what it was about - I tried to get an very irate 80 yr old neighbour to go back in her house (she looked like she was either going to be lamped or lamp someone) but she wasn’t interested so I scarpered.

Whole thing was bonkers.

I think COVID has affected peoples sanity more than we realise.

diddl · 01/10/2020 15:21

Well I can see her point as if you were an OK distance away, then someone in between the two of you means that that is no longer the case.

It does seem a fuss about nothing though but I wouldn't have bothered to engage with her.

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