AIBU to think a job is a job at the moment and to take what you can get for now?

[LastGoldenDaysOfSummer]

Friend's grandson has been applying for jobs since May. He graduated with a 2:2 in June. He hasn't even been offered an interview for his field, which isn't surprising with the Covid Effect.

His mum is a single parent in a low paid job but he is refusing to give her any money from his benefits. He is always complaining about not having any money and tries to borrow from the rest of the family.

My friend knows someone who runs a nursing home and she has offered him weekend shifts in the kitchen and laundry. He says it's beneath him. His mum said it was just to help out until he got a job he wanted. Huge row and she has said that if he doesn't start contributing he will have to leave because she can't afford to keep him and his siblings.

My friend is panicking because she's afraid he'll turn up in her doorstep.

AIBUto think he should take the shifts for now and keep trying for another job?

He has been very lucky. But honestly its not all luck.... He had a lot of experience in hospitality. Also did a ski season so knew how to serve and work with people during his gap year.

I doubt these 2 boys are from similar backgrounds.

I’ve got a first in mathematics and waited tables until I managed to get a job that I actually wanted.

He needs to get over himself, a 2:2 in economics is a bit shit, particularly in this climate where it’s a buyers market.

After the last recession the contract work in my field dried up. I tried various roles including working in a call centre and stacking shelves which I actually enjoyed! I'm now back working as a high-earning techie but would again take anything I could get if I had to.

I have a very good degree from a very good university, my first job after graduation was putting cooked pasta into ready meals.

Very few people go straight into a graduate job, nevermind their dream graduate job.

I used to think the same as him until I moved to Spain. Unless you live in one of the major cities, it’s more likely that you won’t be doing the job you did your degree in. You have qualified engineers, architects and other such professions working in the equivalent of Sainsbury’s or B&Q because there are not enough positions they trained for in the city where they live. They could literally never get a job in their degree subject, so when you compare that to his situation, taking a job for a while to pay your way isn’t so bad.

YANBU.

As others have said a 2:2 isn't a great mark and the majority have to start somewhere.

My daughter got a 1st in her degree and she's in an ok job. She also thinks she should be in a better job but accepts she requires experience before anyone will regard her seriously, it's a stepping stone.

Tell your friend that if grandson does turn up to tell him she is self isolating and is not accepting anyone in the house now or in the future.

What she should do is grow a pair, ring her grandson and tell him to get his act together and not to come knocking on her door with that attitude.

He should be sent to his dads IMO.

Entitled prick. Should be glad of it!

Anyone else wonder if this attitude of not applying for jobs beneath them is to do with back in the day people would say "if you dont work hard at school you'll end up working in Tesco" etc? Just general musing.

With a 2:2 he's not going to be eligible for any graduate schemes, and he'll be outclassed in selection by people with 2.1s and 1sts (and that was the case even 20 yrs ago when 2.1s and 1sts were much rarer).

If he wants a graduate job eventually then his best bets are to try getting on a masters course (not all accept 2.2s), or working his way up from the bottom. Once in an org, especially a large company, even at an entry level, he may become eligible for positions advertised internally.

As someone who sometimes helps sift through applications for high status professional roles, I have a lot more respect for someone who has gone and turned their hand to anything entry level when needed, than nothing at all. It still develops and shows responsibility, time-keeping, trustworthiness, reliability, work ethic etc, which are all good things to have.

@HairyPottyMouth

I keep forgetting to mention I've also been in hiring position, definitely avoided those who's cvs tended towards the "workshy" area - not just gaps in cv which can happen to anyone, but the type of jobs they've been willing to do and of course references.

Plus my parents (very much working class, born into glasgow slums! Left school at 14. Then through hard work "done good") drummed into us (probably when we made teen attitude snarky comments) that NOBODY is above or below another, EVERYBODY has value, that without cleaners, street sweepers, bin men etc we'd all be in a mess!

Anyone else wonder if this attitude of not applying for jobs beneath them is to do with back in the day people would say "if you dont work hard at school you'll end up working in Tesco" etc? Just general musing

I've always hated that!

Not least because the main supermarkets tend to be quite good to work for with loads of scope for advancement inc graduate schemes!

As my parents would say "nothing wrong with an honest days work"

I think at points I had 2 or 3 jobs at a time plus did things like babysitting "on the side"

Dearly wish I could work now I miss it so so much

I have a 2:1 degree. I’ve had two jobs in my field since graduating 10 years ago. Neither paid well enough to live off (drama admittedly) I’m now a civil servant after having several jobs in retail, a call centre, marketing and bar work before I managed to land this job! And most people I work with or in my field don’t have a degree at all (including my husband!) or have degrees in all sorts! He’s being ridiculous! Fresh out of uni I applied everywhere! Including fast food places. I was desperate to get off benefits and actually contribute and help my folks as soon as I could! Even when I was on benefits (which weren’t much and I had to rely on public transport for interviews etc so cost a fair bit) I still bought supplies for the weekly shop etc! He is being a CF big time!

It’s an employer’s market. I am a retail manager, I just had 250 applicants for a 6 hour position. Everything from school leavers through to people with years of management experience. I am in the minority that I look at every CV and cover letter. I figure if someone takes the time to apply, I have a duty to take the time to acknowledge that.
I had a year out of work. We got very close to having to sell up, probably one mortgage payment away from it. That year got me applying for jobs that I felt were ‘beneath me’ in profile but paid an ok wage. I would have happily have accepted any. In the end I got a job that I like and have been there since, that year taught me utter humility. I’d always been in prestige retail and I was going for brands quite different but same sector.
I’ve seen candidates similar to the one in your op. I’ve seen many with better degrees. In honesty, if he goes for a job with that mindset he wouldn’t last long. There are people hungry for work only too happy to prove themselves. If he does get the job, he may well make a shit job of it which could cause animosity to those securing the chance.
I feel for young people starting out. I also feel for older experienced ones who accept a job that they may feel is beneath them but because they have responsibilities.
On a slight tangent, wasn’t it during lockdown that the highlight of our weeks was clapping outside our houses for people in the nhs, care homes, delivery drivers, supermarket workers, emergency services? We as a nation realised their worth. At last. He should thank them for the job and the chance but very probably won’t.

I have a 2:2, 25 years ago to be fair when most of my course got a 2:2 and it was perfectly acceptable. I did a prestigious grad scheme and worked my way up in my career.

I literally can't think of one connection from university who was solidly middle class and went on to work in a minimum wage job, even as a stopgap if they didn't get a graduate job straight away.

I agree. I don’t have any friends whose children have been doing Minimum wage jobs after graduating. If they haven’t got into a grad job, connections of their parents have got them work, just the way it is. Even my sixth former has a weekend job on £12 an hour through the brother of a friend.

It’s not fair and it’s not equal but I agree, for many professional families that’s how it works.

A Desmond hahaha He is a lazy git and selfish too...

I havent read the full thread yet but will the weekend work be worth giving up the max £400pcm universal credit benefits?
Also, he is probably right that it isnt enough to give on.

Agree with PicsInRed.

YANBU

He sounds like a bit of a plonker

Poor Kid

I think I’m from that world you are talking about as any time I wanted to I could have got a job through my father either in his business or through his connections and actually my sister didn’t bother working all through uni and beyond and my parents just funded her. BUT I’m not a lazy, entitled waster! Every uni holiday I worked crappy jobs in factories and did exactly the same from the moment I graduated until I got my first ‘proper’ job in London about 6 months later.
This boy is choosing not to work as he has a misplaced perception that because he has a (distinctly unimpressive) degree that lower wage jobs are beneath him. He needs to get over himself and realise that his degree is really nothing special and might never get him anywhere - and start being a useful member of society and learning some generic skills relevant to the world of work by taking that job!

He's seen the light after a few skirmishes. He does understand that he should be putting something in the family pot. Especially as his mum used to send him the odd tenner when he was at university and never charged him board when he was home for the holidays.

He has said he'll look for bar work or supermarket work but if he can't find anything then he will take up the offer. It will give him some spends as well.

He's not a bad kid at heart just got a bit above himself when he got a degree.

He's not a bad kid at heart just got a bit above himself when he got a degree.

I think sometimes it can be hard when you are the first one in your family to get a degree, you think the degree is going to make things so much easier for you, but other people still have a lot of advantages you don't (eg MC parents)...I speak from experience! I'm glad he's being sensible at last!

(sorry, not sure why I needed so many exclamation marks)

Even someone who only got a poor 2.2 in Economics should be able to balance the books and realise that he must contribute.
But if he’s an entitled spoilt brat - whose fault is that? The mother is reaping the rewards of her parenting.

Glad the situation is improving and well done OP for caring enough to help out your friend.

Read through this entire thread late last night & have gathered some thoughts on it. Firstly, this young man should be congratulated on having a degree, albeit not a good one, as loads of people have been saying. But it’s still a degree & shows he was bright enough to go to uni in the first place. I really hope something positive opens up for him in the future, & he has the get up & go to pursue it. In the meantime yes, yes, yes, to lots of bar work, waiting tables, retail etc. Any of those means he will have contact with the public, & be working with other recent graduates & who knows might be able to do some networking which could lead somewhere. I’m not so sure about the care home offer as it could end up being a real dead end. Yes, money for now, but as PicsInRed mentioned upthread he may be very well aware that what he does next could pigeon-hole him especially with a 2:2 degree. My main concern would be that if he started doing shifts in a care home it might be more difficult to claw his way out, especially as care homes are desperate for staff & there would be huge pressure on him to stay there.And doubtful there would be any other graduates to work alongside or network with.
I think if he found something in retail/ bar work etc, which can be peppy -although hard work- it would be a more positive experience for him & would even potentially show more “get up & go” to a future employer as he would be actively engaged with the public, in a way working in a kitchen/ laundry he wouldn’t be, And yes, I know the care home would still show time-keeping & work ethic skills, so please don’t pile in on me, but I think he could find other opportunities, which I hope he does, so he doesn’t feel forced into accepting the care home shifts.It’s too easy to say “any job is desirable.” in his situation but different jobs will have a different impact on his future. I would also add - unless I’ve missed something- I haven’t seen in any of the replies one single poster who has done any care home/ laundry/ or kitchen work - it’s largely retail/ office/waiting on tables etc- but
a huge majority are keen to march him off to that laundry - a little bit of what’s good for him eh? I would also add, is the OP in fact grandma??? Personally I think gran should be a supportive shoulder but I can see she is between a rock & a hard place in the family politics. One thing I will say though: the final comment from OP “He’s not a bad lad at heart, just above himself because he has a degree.” Inverted snobbery alive & well there. And yes, poor lad, surrounded by people with that attitude. They are not proud of him, which they should be. Let’s hope he escapes ending up in that bucket with the other crabs.

He needs to get on with it and take anything offered. I got an excellent degree but then did my fair share of waitressing/office temping. Took me several years before I was earning a decent salary but I eventually got there. I don’t think that many people get on the fancy “graduate schemes”, certainly none of my friends did.