AIBU to think a job is a job at the moment and to take what you can get for now?

[LastGoldenDaysOfSummer]

Friend's grandson has been applying for jobs since May. He graduated with a 2:2 in June. He hasn't even been offered an interview for his field, which isn't surprising with the Covid Effect.

His mum is a single parent in a low paid job but he is refusing to give her any money from his benefits. He is always complaining about not having any money and tries to borrow from the rest of the family.

My friend knows someone who runs a nursing home and she has offered him weekend shifts in the kitchen and laundry. He says it's beneath him. His mum said it was just to help out until he got a job he wanted. Huge row and she has said that if he doesn't start contributing he will have to leave because she can't afford to keep him and his siblings.

My friend is panicking because she's afraid he'll turn up in her doorstep.

AIBUto think he should take the shifts for now and keep trying for another job?

I graduated 25 years ago and in my area it wasn't setting the heather on fire but it was ok.

Went to a highly renowned recruitment agency (all proud of myself) and the woman said to me "so, you're qualified to work in a shop then?"

Me: Gutted.

Massive reality check.

Got another retail job and got a Pitman typing course from my parents for my birthday.

Kick. Up. The. Arse.

I must be one of the lucky ones then - I got a 2.2 in my degree and am here now 12 years later working in my field, have been lucky that I have stayed in my degree area since leaving college. I graduated in May 2008 right slap bang at the beginning of recession. I think there was only me and two others out of a class of 25 who actually got work in the area we studied, most have emigrated. I did though work in a call center before I got as I call my proper job. All through college I worked in bars, take away etc. I have been made redundant once and also quit on job with no job to go to due to stress and bullying but I have always managed to find another job, be it only temporary, contract, taken lower pay etc. Your friends son will learn the hard way. Employers always look at what work you have done regardless of what it is and you learn some good skills by doing what he calls "beneath him jobs" Friends of mine have aswell found their dream jobs through contacts by doing these "beneath him jobs" you never know what opportunities can come about. Its far easier to find a job when you have a job

@dottiedodah

I think that while he should really take the weekend job,it must be galling to work hard and get to Uni .Work hard again in there ,and come out to a job on minimum wage!

Yes it would be if he had worked hard and got a good degree. A 2:2 is not a good degree and he would struggle to get a graduate job with that in normal times.

This is what happens when kids are modified cuddled, get given all they wish for as kids, told that A levels and Uni is much too demanding to consider a pt job alongside.

So glad my kids were TD that they had to get a pt job as soon as they turned 16 and finished GCSEs. They've always worked PT during their studies. They gained experience and the attitude that no job is unworthy.

Another one here that graduated in a recession with a 2.1 and did a secretarial level role until the firm I worked for decided to support me to qualify a couple of years later.

A reality check is probably just around the corner for this young man sadly - I hope he doesn’t regret turning down the weekend job

I meant to add dh. He graduated a year before me and there were no suitable graduate schemes for him either despite having an advanced masters - he moved countries to be with me and didn’t speak the language. He got various jobs starting with factory work before securing permanent work also a couple of years later.

If your friend’s dgs doesn’t get his head out of his arse, he will be seen as unemployable.

@CatSmith

You seem way too invested in your friendship grandson’ Let him and his family sort their problems, None of this is your problem.

So when your friends are worried and upset ask for advice do you tell them to sort it out for themselves?

What a fine friend you must be.

I would certainly recommend a master's. My boyfriend graduated with a 2.2 in something similar, from a non-Russell group uni), he then went on to get a distinction in his finance based MSc. and is now on £75k at the age of 25, in a top London finance job. Whilst yes, any job is a job, I would say that most top places really won't care if you worked in a garden centre, or in B&Q.
What they will instead care about is whether you knew you had made a mistake, and then dedicated yourself to your chosen career path to prove yourself. Since he got his 2:2 in 2015, he has worked constantly, barely taking weekends, taking a masters, getting professional qualifications and learning any other relevant skills that he has needed. He took the first mostly relevant finance job he could find in London on a salary of £25k , and then worked all hours to get to a much better position. He is now 25 and on 3x the salary. Basically what I am saying it is also really important for you to give him some space and time, and for him to realise what he wants to do himself. Rather than suggesting any job, which actually could really harm his prospects if he plans on going to work for a top place in London. If he doesn't yet have a career plan, or only wants to work in a normal local job then any job will count - but if he does want to work somewhere top then he needs to get focused and work on getting a good grade at Masters, and dedicating himself to his career.

Little swine. Although to be fair it's not unusual for this latest batch of graduates it seems. I graduated into the 2008 financial crash with a first but in a humanities subject (and to be fair without a brilliant idea of what I wanted to do, sadly the message through school had been 'you're clever, if you do well at uni you'll get any job you want' rather than focussing our minds on potential careers - an outdated approach even in those days).

I moved in with my sister and did whatever job I could get. Pub work. Call centre work. NHS receptionist. I was not proud. Moved in with boyfriend and supported him through his PhD again doing whatever work I could get - data entry, admin, whatever. Figured out what I wanted to do and did a masters on a scholarship; worked through that in whatever job I could get. In my eyes when I left for uni I left home, and after that I would have to make shift however I could. I never resented it; I never thought I was 'too good' for any of the jobs I did.

My brother 10 years later graduated and then moved home for bloody years, and only moved out when he was in a graduate job paying over £30k. Never paid any rent. Gave notice on his rental and moved back in over lockdown so he wouldn't be lonely, and again when it was over they had to pretty much lever him out with a spoon, pay the deposit on his next rental etc. And now they've paid the deposit on his first flat.

I don't know if it's because times are harder or if kids just stay kids for longer nowadays; but the difference in parental expectations and in sense of entitlement between him and his older siblings is stark.

As for this young fella his gran does not have to let him live with her. Nor does his mum if he's discourteous and refusing to contribute. He can sign on and get a room in a shared house like anyone else without a job has to do.

Just realised thinking about it I have actually never turned down any job I have been offered!

When friends ask for advice or an opinion Do some people here say, "Not my business"?

How very strange. In my friendship group we talk over each other's problems and ask for and receive advice. Some people here seem to lead a very insular life.

Thanks for the thoughts from the majority. It reinforces what we're thinking. He does need a reality check and to make some attempt to pay his own way.

My friend is panicking because she's afraid he'll turn up in her doorstep.

If he turns up on her doorstep it's easy - he can come in if he takes the job. Otherwise tough tits.

*mypetEufy

Can't help but wonder what his lot would have been if he had been born middle class.

His parents' contacts would have probably scored him a nice little job. Or they'd have searched out, and would be funding a lovely internship somewhere; possibly paying for his rent in a different town and spotting him a healthy allowance.

No one in his family would be clamouring for a share of his £58.90 per week to pay the rent and support his younger siblings, there would be no question of his taking up a job in the laundry or kitchen of a care home, and his grandmother wouldn't be 'panicking' because she's afraid her own grandson, who has spent the last 5 months applying for jobs, might turn up in her doorstep.

Poor kid.*

And what a pile of piss this is. My family is middle class as anything; I still knew once I was a GROWN UP it was on me to pay my way and find work. Yes some people's parents parachute them into jobs but this is neither within the ability or the inclination of many middle class parents. He needs to earn his keep; that is regardless of whether his mum 'needs' the money or not, it's about dignity and respect.

Also your post basically sounds like you're blaming his mum for being poor and not being able to cushion her little darling's path in life. Nice snobbery there.

I have a masters degree, I've just applied for a drs receptionist job despite having senior mgt roles. I need a job! Covid means we all have to look "beneath us"! Spoilt entitled brat springs to mind, poor mum she has my sympathies. My own dd has worked in various fast food joints despite her father being able to fully support her, friends criticised us for allowing her to work in such places but we felt she needed to be working or studying in her gap year.

I'm surprised he even gets benefits. the graduate job market is very tricky atm and even menial jobs can pick from those with experience.

I have a 2/2 and yet people treat me like I am a genius for getting it.
I messed up my dissertation which contributed to that.
I have done and will continue to take jobs which some may see as 'beneath me.' A jobs a job and with 2 chronic illnesses, I know I can't afford to be choosy.

@Asterion
You must know a lot better off, better connected middle class people than I do grin Round here they struggle to get jobs just like everybody else.

I literally can't think of one connection from university who was solidly middle class and went on to work in a minimum wage job, even as a stopgap if they didn't get a graduate job straight away.

They all had it sorted: loads had parents who funded postgraduate study, some went on to volunteer in an area of interesting or throw themselves into good causes whilst living with parents, some did gap years abroad, one got money from parents to set up a niche business.

I assume some of them did struggle to find the kind of job they might have wanted initially but none of them ended up doing laundry or washing up in a care home, or had to work their way up in any way.

Dd1 got a 2.1. She came home and worked in Boots for 6 months before getting an internship in the industry she wanted. Then went to another low paid internship then got a job.
It's easier to get a job from a job.

@mypetEufy - and yet loads of us on here are telling you the complete opposite. Including people from 'middle class' backgrounds.

There's a world of difference between choosing to take a gap year and abjectly refusing to get any job not related to a 2:2 degree because it's 'beneath you'.

With a 2:2, very little work experience and an unwillingness to work his way up, he's going to struggle to find something "on his level"
He sounds horrific.

@mypetEufy I am middle class, graduated with a first from a Russell Group uni into the midst of a global recession, and since then have taken whatever jobs (minimum wage or otherwise) I can find rather than be unemployed. I am now in a job I see as my 'career', but Iearnt a lot of skills, and found a lot of satisfaction in my other jobs as well.

I am under no illusions that my class/upbringing has given me massive privilages thorughout my life, but this kid sounds like an entitled little shit whatever class he is from.

My partner's son is the same.

He lives with his mother who is disabled.

She wanted him to apply for a delivery job with one of the supermarkets, no he woudn't do that.

The shop he worked in part time while studying offered him his job back. Woudn't do that either.

He's up half the night on his computer.

I just woudn't have dared to do that when I lived at home.

Doesn't help your friend's problem, but she is not alone.

@Wexone

I must be one of the lucky ones then - I got a 2.2 in my degree and am here now 12 years later working in my field, have been lucky that I have stayed in my degree area since leaving college. I graduated in May 2008 right slap bang at the beginning of recession. I think there was only me and two others out of a class of 25 who actually got work in the area we studied, most have emigrated. I did though work in a call center before I got as I call my proper job. All through college I worked in bars, take away etc. I have been made redundant once and also quit on job with no job to go to due to stress and bullying but I have always managed to find another job, be it only temporary, contract, taken lower pay etc. Your friends son will learn the hard way. Employers always look at what work you have done regardless of what it is and you learn some good skills by doing what he calls "beneath him jobs" Friends of mine have aswell found their dream jobs through contacts by doing these "beneath him jobs" you never know what opportunities can come about. Its far easier to find a job when you have a job

A 2:2 twenty five years ago is a whole different grade to a 2:2 now. Google books, google scholar, online libraries, online journals, online articles have made assignments immeasurably easier. I did my MA dissertation 3 years ago and couldn't believe how easy it was to find relevant references to back all my points. It saved hours and hours and hours of research time. I'd bet a lot of money that my MA merit was actually much less work than your BA 2:2

DS graduated with a 1st this year and is working in a well known coffee/sandwich shop. His industry isn’t employing so he’s of the opinion he will just earn some cash, save up and hope things get better.

I’ve posted this before. I had to do the same in the 1980s after graduating. I worked in a pub and did voluntary work for a year.
I met my DH when working in the pub and someone I met when doing the voluntary work talked me into applying for a traineeship which I would never have considered and led to a career in the industry I still work in.

I got a 2:1, then worked for a year as an office administrator which was completely unrelated to my degree - I was also still doing shifts at the bar I worked in while I was a student because the pay was so crap!

That was 20 years ago now. One of my now best friends started in that office on the same day as me - also doing an entry level job as a new graduate - so something really positive came out of it!